Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

It's hard to believe that some victims of infidelity find it in their hearts to forgive and give their cheating partner a second chance. Is it worth taking such a gamble? Let's dive in. Taking back a significant other who's shown disloyalty to you can be a definite slippery slope. It's for this reason I would advise against making this move.  For one, who's to say they won't do it again? You may think you can rebuild trust in them, but in all likelihood, you'll be increasingly tempted to check their texts or e-mails. Perhaps you might question when they come home late or why they're having lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. In other words, your insecurity switch gets turned on. That's not to say that no one who's ever cheated has not been genuinely contrite for their mistakes or sincere in their effort to change their ways.  But let's be frank. By forgiving a cheater, you're essentially allowing them to have their cake and eat it...

What would you say is the most clear-cut predictor of how someone will behave in the future? If you said "past behavior," you've hit the nail on the head.  Sure, people can surprise us by radically deviating from prior behavior, but this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. For example, if your friend routinely exhibits a noticeable aversion toward silly comedies, chances are he will continue to loathe such movies. If your sister displays an acute dislike of seafood, she's bound to avoid lobster, crab, and all manner of sea creatures for the foreseeable future. When it's hard to decode a person's true intentions, you have only two tools you can leverage: your gut and, you guessed it, the person's track record. If you lure someone away from a competing firm to come work for you, rest assured they can be coaxed into bolting from yours. If someone cheats on their spouse with you, who's to say they won't cheat on you with som...

Many people ask me whether a relationship or marriage can withstand the devastating blow dealt by a partner's infidelity. My answer? It depends. Some may, and some most certainly won't. You see, once a person cheats, their partner can never look at them in the same light ever again no matter how hard they may try.  Even if the victim finds it in their heart to give their significant other another chance, such an abominable breach of trust gives way to future suspicion of the cheater's motives. Are they really heading out to the gym at 9 p.m., and, if so, whom do they interact with there? Are they truly texting a friend as they say they are? If so, why must they do it during dinner and at late hours of the night? The cheater may thus come to resent having all his moves put under a microscope given his pledge to make amends for his wrongdoings. The victim might retort that their behavior is justified. After all, they forgave the cheater for straying in the re...

We all know of someone -- whether a friend, teacher, neighbor, or acquaintance -- who has cheated on their partner. Maybe they cheated on someone you're close to, or perhaps you've cheated on a significant other yourself and have vowed never to be unfaithful again. Unfortunately, I often find that in such cases of infidelity, the guilty party doesn't immediately take responsibility for what they did and give their partner the time and space they need to sort out their feelings. Instead, they become defensive (if not combative), trying to come up with reasons why they should be let off the hook. When the victim asks to be left alone, the cheater may heap apology after apology, refusing to take no for an answer. Nothing in the world could justify cheating on a partner. It is the most egregious form of betrayal one can carry out -- the ultimate breach of trust someone has placed in you. Not surprisingly, cheaters try to dream up every excuse in the book to justify th...

Some people are under the impression that cheating is fair game as long as your partner cheats on you first. This, though, could not be further from the truth. Cheating is unacceptable under all circumstances . Two wrongs don't make a right! If you've been cheated on, don't stoop to your unfaithful partner's level. Ditch him or her and find yourself someone worthy of your time and affections. Cheating even as an act of retribution makes it no less reprehensible. By cheating on someone who has wronged you, you give them ammunition to ask, "If my actions were so horrible, why'd you follow suit?" Again, the very second the urge strikes to get payback on your partner by cheating on him or her, that's when you know you're better off pulling the plug on the relationship. Why would you want to remain with that person anyway? People stay with cheaters for all sorts of reasons: They buy into the cheater's ostensibly heartfelt contriti...

Many people vow never to forgive those who have cheated on them, and they're within their rights to do so. Here's my take: If a cheater shows immense contrition -- he or she issues a genuine, heartfelt apology -- then maybe they deserve to be forgiven. However, this in no way means that you ever have to trust or want to reconcile with them ever again. After such a flagrant breach of trust, how can you ever expect the person not to repeat the offense? Surprisingly, many people with hearts of gold give cheaters a second chance. I simply wouldn't be able to do that if I were cheated on. If I cheated on someone -- though I neither have nor ever would -- I wouldn't expect my partner to take me back, as I know the irreparable damage it can cause a relationship and on the wronged partner's psyche. The cheating partner has no right to push the other person to get back with him or her. Once he or she says "no," the person should respectfully back of...

Taking back a cheating spouse or partner is a recipe for utter disaster. I'm not saying you can't forgive the person. I'm all for remaining friends, too, provided the person who was cheated on feels comfortable with it. But cheating represents such a flagrant breach of trust that the person shouldn't get a second shot at anything more than friendship, although infidelity precludes that possibility as well in most cases -- and rightfully so. If you do your very best to remain faithful, why can't your partner do the same? What makes you think he or she won't do it again? Many of us get the opportunity to cheat on our partner with an attractive friend, coworker, or acquaintance who makes an obvious pass at us. But we thwart the person's advances out of a deep level of loyalty to the person we love. The risk of throwing everything down the drain for a night of lusty fun just isn't worth it. Not only will you be wracked with guilt later on, but ot...

Research suggests that many married men and women -- and even unmarried ones in serious relationships -- admit to flirting with other people. Now, flirting could mean anything from exchanging glances and smiles to complimenting what someone else is wearing. As we know, you don't even have to talk to someone to engage in flirting. So why is it that so many people who are married or in serious relationships do this? My theory is as follows: As much as we may love our partners, human beings get a tremendous high from being fancied by other people -- especially ones we find physically attractive. Let's face it: Even if we find our partner to be the most attractive person in the world, we can't help but feel physically attracted to others. While some people can keep the attraction they feel to themselves, others resort to the only way they can subtly convey it without full-blown cheating: flirting. I think people do this because sometimes they want to feel desired by s...