Should a cheater be forgiven?

Many people vow never to forgive those who have cheated on them, and they're within their rights to do so.

Here's my take:

If a cheater shows immense contrition -- he or she issues a genuine, heartfelt apology -- then maybe they deserve to be forgiven.

However, this in no way means that you ever have to trust or want to reconcile with them ever again.

After such a flagrant breach of trust, how can you ever expect the person not to repeat the offense?

Surprisingly, many people with hearts of gold give cheaters a second chance. I simply wouldn't be able to do that if I were cheated on.

If I cheated on someone -- though I neither have nor ever would -- I wouldn't expect my partner to take me back, as I know the irreparable damage it can cause a relationship and on the wronged partner's psyche.

The cheating partner has no right to push the other person to get back with him or her. Once he or she says "no," the person should respectfully back off.

People can try to come up with every excuse in the book for cheating -- from being drunk to feeling seduced -- but cheating is inexcusable.

A person who genuinely loves their partner and honors their commitment to be loyal in the relationship resists any and all outside temptations.

You can feel attracted to other people without acting on those impulses.

If the relationship is in tatters, you should end it graciously BEFORE you even entertain the thought of being unfaithful. It's all about thinking about the other person's feelings and not just your own.

I think some, not all, people deserve to be forgiven, but I'll reiterate: It does not mean they're worthy of a second chance. It doesn't even mean you have to be friends.

It's just an acknowledgement that what they did was out of character -- a huge mistake they "probably" wouldn't repeat if given a second opportunity.

Would you take back a cheater? Why or why not?

Comments

Anonymous said…

Not that I believe he will ever WANT to come back, I will NEVER take him back!

October 21, 2016 at 9:25 AM

Anonymous said…

Trying to decide if I should leave

April 5, 2018 at 7:41 AM

Unknown said…

: Never once a cheater will always be a cheater never trust again I been there guys are not honest with me I have many experiences im closing my door.

August 5, 2018 at 6:20 AM

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated. In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel. If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor. In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better. If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps. But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying. If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

Search This Blog