When you think about the person you wish to spend the rest of your life (assuming you have yet to find him or her), which qualities come to mind? Chances are, you want this individual to be kind, loving, smart, funny, loyal, honest, communicative, responsible, hard-working, and the like. But these desirable attributes don't mean didly squat if the partner in question expresses no interest in being with you long-term -- assuming that, too, is what you yearn for with them.  Maybe you've been with someone for four years who hasn't so much as broached the topic of marriage. Or, perhaps you ask them what they picture their life being like in a few years and they fire off a slew of items on their To Do List -- traveling, meeting new people, launching a business -- that seem to have little or nothing to do with you. Being with someone who fears commitment -- the kind I've termed commitmentphobes -- can be emotionally draining. You just never quite know whether th...

Have you ever had a friend or partner who's made you feel replaceable? In other words, the other person may have a slew of friends or several people vying for their romantic affections, making you feel as though you're just a number on their list. This doesn't make us feel special or appreciated, no matter how many times -- and how emphatically -- they may claim to value us. We might crave more intimacy with this individual, but their tendency to hop from one person to another may create an emotional void. You might feel far more invested and committed because you have a smaller circle of people in your life. Perhaps you've done this deliberately in an effort to cut down on the drama and prioritize quality over quantity. It's saddening when people take us for granted because they know they have other options. Perhaps you've suggested a relaxing evening at home dining over a good movie, but someone else has suggested plans more to their liking. Ma...

Conventional wisdom holds that if you do someone a favor, that person is bound to like you more. However, research has revealed something entirely different: If you do someone a favor, it is you who will like that person more as a result.  But how can this be? The reason is that we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the person the favor because, well, we really like them. This phenomenon is called the Ben Franklin effect . Franklin once quipped, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." Legend has it that Franklin, a Founding Father and renowned scientist, leveraged this discovery to win the favor of a rival Pennsylvania legislator by asking the legislator to lend him a rare book and then showering him with gratitude. It worked like a charm. According to Franklin,"When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civ...

According to a recent survey, many women still want their partner to be the primary breadwinner -- or at least make as much money as they do. More than 1 in 5 women -- or 22% -- say they wouldn't date someone who makes less money than them. That's compared with 4% of men who said they wouldn't date someone who earns less than they do. Another study found 69% of women said they'd feel uncomfortable paying all the bills compared with 46% of men. These findings aren't all that surprising. Despite the shrinking gender wage gap and more women rising to high-level executive positions, women still make less money than men for the same jobs -- 83 cents on the dollar. Thus, it follows that many women prefer having a partner whom they don't have to support. But women who are this picky may be missing out on great opportunities out in the dating realm. Even if he makes slightly less money, a man may make a great partner. Other variables should certainly be we...

Whether it's in the realm of love, friendship, or even your career, you should never have to force yourself to do anything. If deep down you feel like something doesn't come naturally, it's probably not right for you. For example, if you find yourself rolling your eyes everytime the person you're dating calls you, chances are you're not into him or her. And if the thought of going on another date seems like a chore, that only adds fuel to the argument. Even if your friends or relatives prod you to give someone a chance, you shouldn't cave if your heart isn't in it. And the worst thing you can do is remain in the relationship only because you feel bad for the other person. All that does is give them false hope. You wouldn't want someone to do the same to you, right? Moreover, if you're forcing yourself to keep alive a decades-old friendship while your buddy seems to have forgotten you exist, there comes a point where you have to say, "i...

Want to get to know people better?  Try to have one-to-one conversations with them. I've found that people tend to be more open and genuine in one-to-one conversations than they are when other people are around. Add more people to the equation and people begin putting on a facade just to fit in and make a good impression, particularly if several people in the conversation know each other. That's not to say it can't happen in a one-to-one conversation -- especially when both individuals met only recently -- but the chances of that happening are slimmer. When it's just you and another person, you're more vulnerable. Efforts be silly in order to elicit laughs may blow up in your face, and there's no one else around to back you up in case you say something you may regret. In addition, more participants bring more noise into the conversation. Suddenly you have people talking and shouting over another, not to mention going off on tangents. This makes it mu...

I scolded a male friend of mine recently for making a stereotypical remark about women: That they all take forever to get ready, whether for work or any social occasion.  To support his argument, he added that all his girlfriends have made a habit of telling him they won't take that long but wind up taking an hour, if not more. I responded that it says more about the women he's dating than about the female population as a whole. Not all women are this high maintenance. Take my wife, for example. Even if she's dressing up for a wedding, party, or other social event, she's usually done getting ready in under an hour. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women who like to take their time. But to say all women are this way just isn't accurate. It's like saying that all men get ready in a flash. I know some guys who spend a good amount of time applying spray/gel to and combing their hair until they're satisfied. They can also be finick...

Sam Steingard couldn't find a date for his high school prom, so he took -- who else? -- his cat Ruby! Steingard's mother bought the cat a dress and a sparkly collar for the occasion, and the two took plenty of pictures together. Ten years ago, Ruby was spotted behind a Ruby Tuesday's restaurants, and that's how the name came about. The family and their neighbors only have great things to say about the feline. As it turns out, she's very friendly and loves people. She and Sam share a very intimate bond. When he was younger, she'd walk with him to school, and once they'd arrived, she'd walk herself home and meet him there after school. Same enjoys talking to her in a baby voice and giving her well-deserved treats. There's no question that Sam wasn't too jaded about not finding a human date for the prom -- little did he know the "purr-fect" one was at home! Do you feel this young man was nuts to do such a thing?  Do you think it...

When it comes to the many annoying habits people have, there's one that tops the list, or comes close to it: chewing with one's mouth open . Ugh!  Were these people not taught manners? I don't care if I'm on a date, in a meeting at work, or at a friend's party. When I see people chomping on chips or chewing gum with an open mouth, it not only annoys me to no end, but makes me want to exhort them to quit it. I realize not everyone is conscious of when they're doing this. That's why the best solution is usually to point it out respectfully, though it doesn't mean they'll kick the habit immediately. Sometimes it takes having a couple of people voice their annoyance for the culprit to put the kibosh on the behavior. The impact is magnified when a complaint is issued by one's boss, a hot date, or someone else whose acceptance is highly valued. If no one makes a peep, however, the offender will carry on with this most irritating quirk. If a...

The other day, I happened across an image someone posted on Facebook with the following caption: "Fat men deal with women's rejection, but fat women expect men to love them for who they are." Interestingly, most people who responded to the image -- men and women alike -- agreed with the statement. I'm not sure I concur, though. For one, I've seen plenty of women paired up with guys noticeably heavier than them. The notion that all women reject big men just isn't true, and we should refrain from promulgating blanket statements like this. What's more, who's to say men don't reject fat women?  One of my friends has vowed never to date -- let alone settle down with -- a fat woman. I know many other guys who echo those very sentiments. I'm happy to say I married a woman who would be considered overweight or voluptuous by today's standards. Since I've never been one to insist on a perfect physique, she and I have had no issues conce...

Though many people will claim that finding love online isn't all that different from meeting and connecting people the traditional way, I beg to differ. Before I hooked up with my now-wife, I met several girls online and then in person. Though all but one encounter led to nothing more than exchanging pleasantries over lunch, I made a few observations when comparing how the two approaches differ. For one, when meeting the old school way, people are usually drawn to one another by virtue of physical attraction. The get-to-know-you phase comes later. With online dating, it's the other way around. You get to know the person based on whatever is said in online or phone conversations, then you meet in person and determine if you're both physically attracted to one another. Provided that people are being truthful about themselves -- we've all heard horror stories of people who misrepresent themselves -- I think the online-then-offline option gives both parties the oppo...

Picture that you're on what seems like a date taken straight from a fairytale or romance novel. You and your impeccably dressed date are having a candlelight dinner in a cozy, beautifully decorated restaurant. With dim lighting, delectable food, soft music playing in the background, an unobstructed view of the ocean, the scene couldn't be more perfect. Then, out of nowhere, you hear an unusual sound. It takes you aback for a second. You decide to disregard it and figure that either you must be out of it this evening or someone at the other table must have dropped something. Then you hear it again. "What is that darn noise?" you ask yourself exasperatedly. You spend a moment trying to put your finger on what that sound could be while exchanging smiles with your gleeful date. All of the sudden, it hits you: Your date has been passing gas! Yuck! Thankfully, before I began dating my now-wife, I never witnessed any of my dates fart, but people have told me they...

I thought it'd be a good time to interrupt the usual format of posts and do something a little different this time. In this post, I want to give you guys -- my readers -- the opportunity to ask me any questions you may have in mind. Whether you need advice on ways to stand up to your boss, tips on how to get a date, or some relationship do's and don'ts, I want to help you out! Don't be shy -- ask away and let me know what's on your mind.

Have you noticed how some people are far more serious when conversing with just one person, but act like goofballs if a third person -- a friend, maybe -- is also involved in the banter? The reason for this is simple: We feel more vulnerable when we're alone. If a close friend happens to interject, though, we seem more at ease. All of the sudden, we feel comfortable enough to crack a joke or two and know that at least your friend will appreciate and likely laugh at it. I see this happen all the time in the workplace. For example, when around one or two of her "office buddies," my co-worker Jenna loves to bust my chops about my being too quiet in the office. But if it's just her and I, she acts like a completely different person -- a lot more sober and humorless. If none of Jenna's closest co-workers are around to hear her jokes, those she isn't as chummy with may not find them funny at all, so she'll likely refrain from telling them. So what's ...