There is no question that online dating opens up a world of possibilities for single men and women that would otherwise not be available to them. But is it an avenue worth exploring? Let's run through the pros and cons.  The pros In a sense, by allowing you to specify what exactly you're looking for -- say, a lad who doesn't smoke, enjoys sports, and has sworn off marriage -- these sites take a lot of the pesky guesswork out of the dating grind. You can swap pictures and engage in phone/video chats prior to meeting in person, which can help you both assess compatibility.  Plus, it's much less nerve-racking to "approach" someone virtually than it is cold turkey at a loud nightclub where they might be surrounded by friends.  As with all else, there are drawbacks There are definite downsides to online dating. I know this from personal experience, as I met a few ladies in person back in the day whom I'd first stumbled upon via America Online. For those Gen Zer...

Are you unhappily single? Does love seem to evade you like the pesky mouse that manages to squeak by the frustrated cat? Take heart. Many out there are in your shoes. But just because you've been unsuccessful in relationships previously doesn't mean that trend has to continue.  In order to secure real, lasting love, you must land somewhere between these polar-opposite approaches: 1. The rush to find someone and the willingness to patiently wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to waltz into your life.  Hooking up with someone without first getting to know them is foolhardy, especially if you're fortunate enough to be aware of traits or a certain track record you view as disqualifying (e.g., he was known to beat up his ex-wife or, unlike you, is an unapologetic atheist). Instead of rushing into a relationship just so you can declare you're no longer single, give it some time. Just because there's low-hanging fruit doesn't mean you have to snag it. However, some people take ...

Valentine's Day can be a real drag for romantic hopefuls who have yet to stumble upon Mr. or Ms. Right. But don't despair! He or she may waltz into your life quicker than you anticipate. Here are a few tips for meeting someone -- not just any person, but a special individual with whom you can forge a path to long-term bliss: 1. Let people know you're single and ready to mingle. The term "networking" is thrown around all the time in the working world, but it can also be a handy tool in one's quest for romance. Have you told friends and loved ones that you're looking? Perhaps they know someone whom they can fix you up with, or at the very least you can establish connections with people in their circle -- e.g., a friend of a friend's sister's cousin at the birthday party -- that may lead to a fateful encounter with a promising candidate. You obviously don't want people all up in your business, either. For example, I wouldn't advise...

Being single certainly isn't as bad as some make it out to be. Sure, it's nice to have a partner to hug on Valentine's Day, exchange gifts with during the holidays, and accompany you to work/social functions. But the reality is that singlehood affords myriad benefits as well, including: Not having to deal with a partner's drama. Being free to watch whatever you want on TV. Not having to compromise on where to eat dinner or which movie to watch at the theater. Having more time to enjoy hobbies/solitary pursuits. Not having to spend money on your partner.  Not having to confront meddling in laws.  Having more time for friends and relatives.  Even if ultimately you do long for a serious relationship, marriage, and the whole kit and caboodle, it doesn't mean you can't capitalize on your freedom.  In fact, it gives you time to scout possible love interests. When you know you're enjoying the single life, you're in no hurry to hook up. It...

We've all heard sayings like "patience is a virtue," "good things come to those who wait," and "everything happens at the right time." But are these valid assertions, or just tired platitudes? The fact of the matter is this: Life is a balancing act between striking the right level of patience and working toward one's goals . There's no question that you shouldn't force what you know in your heart isn't for you. For example, if your gut tells you that the position you interviewed for isn't right -- and you can afford to hold off a little longer -- don't accept it if an offer is extended. Or let's pretend you've been single for two years and would do just about anything to hook up with someone. Unfortunately, desperation can drive people to settle for someone who they know deep down is a poor fit. Needless to say, patience can pay huge dividends. You may second guess your decision initially, only to have a mu...

Have you ever felt desperate to jump into a relationship -- whether out of fear of loneliness, pressure from peers or family members, or merely to have someone around for special occasions like Christmas and Valentine's Day? I can understand the yearning to have someone at your side, experiencing the highs and lows of life with you. Having a partner can offer myriad benefits. It's great to have a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen to you on those really tough days, just as it is to have a partner to share in your successes. Assuming one has a wonderful partner who goes out of his or her way to make them happy, a companion can undoubtedly be a blessing. But no one should jump into a relationship unless/until they feel the time is right. Your friends may try to hook you up with an acquaintance whom you don't necessarily deem attractive or your type. Maybe you're talking to a guy online who wants to move a little faster than you feel is appropriate. Always let...

Have you ever been turned down by someone you really, really dig? It can be a real bummer when a person you fancy is unable to reciprocate the feelings you have for them. But you mustn't let such an outcome get you down. Everyone experiences rejection at some point or another. It's not a reflection of your physical appearance or character necessarily. It is simply indicative of the fact that different people have different taste. Maybe you fall a little short (no pun intended) when it comes to their preferred height, or they're seeking someone who's more on the adventurous side. Or, perhaps they realize the two of you have chemistry, but they're already in a relationship. Or it may very well be that they just got out of a rocky marriage and wish to remain single for now. In other words, you may not meet that specific person's criteria, but it certainly doesn't mean that'll be the case with every man or woman you pursue. You will eventua...

Society peddles the tired notion that one isn't truly content unless they're married or in a relationship. Our culture, as you've probably noticed, is highly relationship-centric. Valentine's Day, dating apps, celebrity weddings, juicy hookups bantered about at work. Our Facebook News Feeds replete with articles and memes pertaining to love and relationships, not to mention posts of people professing their love for their partner. We might as well call it what it really is: a craze. An obsession, if you will. There's no question that relationships are a wonderful thing. Who doesn't love to hear stories of couples getting engaged on the Eiffel Tower or celebrating their 50th anniversary? A person can derive a wealth of benefits -- physical, emotional, and financial -- from being partnered up. Provided one is in a healthy relationship, a person's significant other can greatly enrich their life, being there to cheer their successes and help them throug...

Soulmates. Finding the one. Our other half. The media, Hollywood, and even certain people we know peddle this notion that unless we're partnered up, we're not truly happy with our lives -- even if we don't realize it yet. They insist that unless we're in a relationship, we're just not whole. That's just total malarkey. They'd be surprised to learn that there are many people in the world who prefer being by themselves. Whether they've been burned in the past by an ex or merely relish living on their own, these individuals are single by choice -- not necessarily because they can't find any worthwhile suitors. Furthermore, regardless of whether they're single, in a relationship, or married, many people believe that a partner has a responsibility to "complete" them. This is totally false as well. A partner should be seen as a welcome enhancement, but not as a missing piece to complete your life puzzle. The fact that someon...

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Now, I know today isn't the happiest of days for those who are still on a quest to find Mr. or Ms. Right. And to them I say: Don't fret. It's not the end of the world. You'll find the right person when the time is right. I was actually in your shoes at one point. In the days leading up to the holiday every year, I wanted to lock myself in my room, bury my head under a pillow, and fall asleep until February 15. The commercials, the decorations, the balloons, the flowers, the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates: It was all so torturous! "Why can't I be with someone special on Valentine's Day like so many people I know?" I asked myself wistfully. Thankfully, my dry spell came to an end in 2005, when I hooked up with the woman I would end up marrying years later. Eventually, it hit me: I would not have been so melancholic over being single had I not: Thought that a partner would "complete me": Lit...

A relationship doesn't stand a chance of surviving without compromise. If partners aren't willing to find common ground and meet somewhere in the middle, the road ahead will surely be a bumpy one. As I noted in a recent post, selfishness has no place in a relationship. Once you become seriously involved with someone, the carefree days of doing whatever you want, whenever you want, are over. That's why you should never enter into a relationship unless you're willing to part with some of the freedoms you enjoyed when you were single. Being in a relationship means not always getting what you want. It means that you won't always get your way. It means the feelings and views of your partner need to be taken into account before certain decisions are made. Once you're in a relationship, it's no longer about "I," but "us." You and your partner are a team, and the two of you have to make choices that may not benefit you or him/her in the...

First off, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you lovebirds who are married or in relationships. Whether you wanted stuffed animals or kisses (of the romantic or chocolate variety), I hope your honey has succeeded at expressing how much you mean to them today, though that should really happen daily. For those of you flying solo this Valentine's Day, there could be many reasons why this is the case. Perhaps you're not interested in a relationship right now. Maybe you just got out of one recently and wish to spend the next few months having fun with friends. If it just so happens that you're a little blue about being single, don't despair. The right person is out there -- you just have to be patient. At the same time, you need to do your part. Get out there and attend social functions where you can meet people. See if there are any dating sites to your liking. Ask friends and family whether they might know any prospects. They say life happens when you're ...

Don't complain of being single if you're super picky, which is the boat one of my friends perpetually finds himself in. He's gregarious, polite, and an all around good guy. However, when it comes to women, he seeks near-perfection: a slim, highly attractive woman -- we're talking Victoria's Secret-esque -- who doesn't smoke, drink, or party. Oh, yeah, and she should attend church regularly. Saying my friend has high standards is an understatement. He refuses to even consider women who are a couple of pounds overweight. While some may say his refusal to budge on his criteria is admirable in that he sticks to his guns, others might lambaste him for his ostensible shallowness. What provides ammunition to the latter group's argument, however, is the fact he often complains of being single. Well, little does he realize that his problem is of his own making. If you're going to disqualify the vast majority of the dating pool on account of what you f...

Society makes singlehood out to be something weird or unfortunate -- something that needs to be remedied. When some people find out a person is in their 40s and 50s and still single, they tend to give the individual awkward looks and assume something must be wrong with them. Well, guess what? Studies show that many people are single and loving it. When asked why they're content being single, many say they relish being free and unshackled. They like not having to depend on or run decisions -- whether financial or otherwise -- by a partner. They love doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no one to get in their way. Want to wake up at noon? No problem. Leave for Hawaii on a whim? No one's stopping you. And when they're asked whether they do get lonely sometimes, they say they're able to avoid such feelings by tapping into their wide network of friends and relatives. Many of these folks have been burned in the past by an ex and refuse to give thei...