Sometimes you need to stand alone to prove -- not only to others, but to yourself -- that you can still stand. I believe strongly in turning to friends and family for support amid tough times. But oftentimes the answers lie in us, even if we may not realize it at first, and all we need to do is follow our gut. For instance, maybe you've been dating someone whom you know deep down isn't the right match for you, or working in a career that you've known for a long time doesn't make full use of your skills. Perhaps others prod you to continue dating this individual because they're certain the future looks bright for the two of you. (They may have been the ones to fix you up as well.) Or they implore you to remain in that job because, well, things are bad out there and surely you can't find a position that better suits you, right? While many of these people mean well, who better to know who or what is right for you than yourself? Indeed, arriving at c...

So you've made mistakes in the past you're not entirely proud of. Maybe you cheated on a wonderful woman that you envisioned yourself marrying someday. Perhaps you passed on what seemed life a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity. Or maybe you told a good friend something you knew you couldn't take back once the words came out of your mouth, effectively ending that friendship. We've all had moments we wish we could redo, but the fact of the matter is that life doesn't afford us the opportunity to travel back in time. As hard as it may be, you must accept the fact that it is all behind you now. The past cannot be changed. All you can do is move forward. Beating yourself up over what you did won't do you any good. If anything, it only makes it more difficult to crawl out of his hole, mentally and emotionally. The key is that you learned a valuable lesson and can assure yourself moving forward that you won't make the same mistake again. Because, i...

Isn't it terrible when someone you care about takes you for granted? It could be a partner, a friend, or even a relative who: Turns to you only when they need something Leaves you in the lurch when you're in a rough patch yourself Insists they will change, but they never do Seems to prioritize everyone in his or her life except you No matter how often you convey that you feel angry, hurt, and taken advantage of, they carry on with the behavior, assuming that you're going to stick around. Their reasoning is: If you haven't left already, why would you now? This is precisely the kind of mindset that causes so many relationships to go under. Some people expect the other person to do all the work, thinking that alone will sustain the relationship. Or, they may do a little here and there, but never commit themselves to the degree the other person is. Sooner or later, the person being taken for a ride gives up and moves on. In certain cases, the other in...

When it's all said and done, we will only regret the chances we didn't take. Worse than regretting the things we have done is regretting not having done something. Imagine spending your whole life wondering whether you could have achieved a particular goal. That "what if" feeling can certainly come back to haunt us every now and then. We may comfort ourselves by saying things like "it wasn't meant to be," but deep down, we just never know. Whether it's asking out the girl you've been in love with since the 3rd grade, jumping out of an airplane, or starting your own business, chances are it's a debilitating fear of failure that is keeping you from striving toward your goal. When you doubt yourself and imagine the worst, you've essentially given up before you've begun. And the only surefire way to fail is to give up. If you try and fall short, you haven't failed -- you've merely learned a lesson. We must aim to...

If you lose someone, but find yourself in the process, guess what? You've won. Maybe it's an ex who walked away because they found you too unexciting or conventional for them. Perhaps it's a friend who stopped responding to your messages once they realized they couldn't control you or get you to validate their every decision. You've likely been in this boat at some point or another. At first, seeing the relationship go down the tubes hits us hard, and we may be apt to blame ourselves. But gradually, we come to realize that it didn't work out for a reason, and rather than inducing sadness in us, that fact brings us a great sense of comfort and relief. It reinforces something that we knew all along, but perhaps never contemplated too deeply: If we try to think or behave like others just to gain their approval, we are essentially selling ourselves out, handing them our self-identity in a bag. Sadly, I've spoken to people who will suppress what m...

Sometimes you need to give up on people -- not because you don't care, but because they don't. Let's say you and your friend have drifted from each other over time. You assume (or hope) he or she has noticed it as well and you resolve to get things running smoothly again. If, after some time, you've done all you can to jolt some life into the relationship -- whether by inviting the person to dinner, texting them to wish their kid a Happy Birthday, or dropping by to help clean out their garage -- and they still show no interest, it could be because of the following: 1. They're expecting you to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship. 2. They don't value you like you do them. 3. They're going through something they may not wish to talk about. The only one of the three that is a valid excuse is #3, though they should at least tell you that much and not leave you hanging. We should all respect others' need for space, but unless we're...

Over the course of our lives, we meet all types of people -- smart, courteous, obnoxious, rude, and everything in between. While we all wish we could meet only people who make a positive impact in our lives, each and every individual serves a valuable purpose. In fact, those we come across generally fall under one of two categories: 1. They're a blessing. They lift us up when we're feeling down through their infectious optimism, generosity, and sense of humor. They exhibit warmth, kindness, and hospitality whenever we're around them. Time seems to fly when we're conversing with these wonderful souls. Even if we go weeks or months without getting in touch, we can easily pick up where we left off. They're not all smiles all the time, though. When we're out of line, they're not afraid to put us in our place -- yet, we don't mind because they do so tactfully. They're a welcome enhancement amid a sea of fakers. 2. They're a lesson. Let...

There are people in our lives who couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call or text us, no matter how many messages we've left for them. Chasing after them sends the message that, in spite of their cool detachment, you're going to continue pressing them for a response. Essentially, you're rewarding them for their unseemly behavior. Do they really deserve this special treatment? Absolutely not! If you've done your part to try to get in touch, the ball is in their court. Make it clear that you have your own priorities to worry about and that your world doesn't revolve around them. If taking a stand spells the end of that relationship, so be it. Your time will be much better spent on people who show an interest in you and make a conscious effort to maintain contact. Getting the cold shoulder from our partner, a friend, or a relative can be quite painful and perplexing, especially if it's someone we were once very close to. But just like t...

Never let your past mistakes and experiences prevent you from taking on new challenges or opportunities. Most of us have had jobs that wound up being a bad fit, not to mention been in at least one relationship that ended badly. But you should never let the fear of going through another bad experience keep you from taking on a promising job or starting a new relationship that has the makings of a fruitful union. After all, it's experience that teaches us what we did wrong so that it won't happen again in the future. Next time a seemingly great job opportunity or dating prospect comes into the picture, we should be better equipped to determine whether either is right for us, given the lesson we learned the first time. Thus, experience should serve to facilitate growth and progress in our lives, not inhibit it.  I realize it can feel like a big gamble to take the plunge once more after being left hurt or disillusioned the last time. But integral to the human experience i...