Your toxic boss treats you with visible disdain, but you can't quite put your finger on why given you're a hard-working, dedicated employee. The end to the honeymoon phase of your relationship has ushered in a transformed boyfriend of yours who suddenly seems to take you for granted. Dissatisfied with his own life, your friend tries to project onto you the misery he's experiencing, constantly lashing out and accusing you of wrongdoing. For far too many of us, a common thread runs through each of these scenarios: Not knowing what to do and afraid of losing our job or jeoparding the relationship, we just bite the bullet and press on.  But we can't live in constant fear. We cannot allow other people to run over us like an 18-wheeler does a plastic bottle.  You can stand up for yourself in a civil, if firm, manner, sans name-calling and expletives. Even if you sense some hostility building up on the other end, do not gift them the satisfaction of seeing you brought to their...

Don't let people bog you down with their drama and negativity. See, that's precisely what they crave: For them to be the ones responsible for turning your good mood into a sour one. It empowers them to continue trying to push our buttons until we become disappointed, effectively ruining our day (or so they hope). And toxic people aren't always overtly toxic from the get-go. They may endear themselves to us in the beginning, forming the impression that they're one of the nicest people we have ever met. But once the opportunity strikes, they flip a switch and allow their true, manipulative colors to come out. As I've noted in prior posts, when people are unhappy with their lives, they attempt to make themselves feel better by trying to make miserable the lives of ostensibly happy individuals. Whether they're in the process of getting divorced, having problems with their boss, or in serious financial straits, they take everything out on the people a...

It goes without saying that people should never try to hurt others deliberately. Even if someone has hurt or deceived you first -- say, by spreading a rumor about you or cheating on you -- seeking retribution isn't going to make you feel better. If anything, you would be stooping down to their level, making the resentment you feel toward them fester longer. Instead, show you're above such pettiness by speaking privately with them and reaffirming your expectations. If they apologize for what they did, and you wish to salvage the relationship, make it clear to them that you will not carry on unless you're given the respect you deserve. If they do not apologize, or if you're simply at wit's end, make it clear that you want nothing to do with them anymore. (Walking away without declaring your intentions is also your prerogative.) If you want to convey that you're fed up with someone, indifference is far more effective than getting all worked up, as the l...

It can be painful when we learn that someone we trust, admire, and respect -- whether an old friend, family member, or colleague -- is talking behind our back. We feel betrayed, cheated, violated. And to add insult to injury, they try to act all nice when they're around us, as if they genuinely cared. If that doesn't sound like the quintessential fake person, I don't know what does. People talk behind others' backs for three primary reasons: 1. They envy something you have that they perceive as lacking in their own lives, whether your looks, social status, relationships, possessions, or title.  2. They aim to make themselves feel better by spreading falsehoods about you.  3. They know they can't emulate your lifestyle, so they figure talking smack about you -- especially around people who hold you in high esteem -- is the only way to hit where it hurts.  Our immediate impulse may be to go and rip them a new one. But see, that's exactly the reaction...

Many people say that men have it made: they're physically stronger than women, don't have to give birth, and enjoy better salaries and promotion opportunities in the business world. The statistics below, however, might cause these people to reassess whether being a man is really all it's cracked up to be: Nine out of 10 prison inmates are men Among the homeless, men outnumber women by at least three to one Men are 10 times more likely to commit murder than women are Men are 10 times more likely to show up at the low end of distributions of IQ scores Men are more likely to be mentally retarded than women Men are more likely to abuse and abandon their kids  Men are less likely than women to take care of aging/ill parents Men outscore women on measures of closed-mindedness, cruelty, narcissism, hostility, and self-indulgence Men pay more than women for car insurance Men die earlier than women (about five years earlier on average) I think the above statistics s...

How do you know it's time to close the door on a friendship or relationship? It's simple: You know the time is now when you couldn't care less about the person. Not only do you become completely indifferent to the individual, but you reason that your life would be better without him or her. You feel there would be more peace and less hostility if that person were given the boot. Doing this isn't always the easy, especially when you've known the person for a long time. But let's face it -- legacy alone can't sustain a relationship through the passage of time. People and things change. A person you deemed your closest friend or soulmate 10 years ago could feel like a nuisance today. You know that's the case when you hear the person's voice or see they're calling you and you instantly roll your eyes. I'm actually going through this as we speak with a friend I have known since high school. Long story short, this once-humble guy got a good j...