Do you consider your partner your best friend? If so, your relationship may be better equipped to last than couples who don't have those very sentiments. Studies show that those who consider their partner their best friend tend to be far more satisfied in their relationship than those who don't.  This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships characterized by more companionate love – those high in affection, friendship, security, comfort, and mutual interests – last longer and are more satisfying. In fact, companionate love is more closely linked with relationship satisfaction than is passionate love, which entails intense feelings of attraction and preoccupation with one’s partner. Other research shows that those in friendship-centric love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an integral part of the love.  A study of over 600 married individuals revealed that those with hig...

If you're like me, you've noticed many of your Facebook friends (or acquaintances, or people you've known since kindergarten but seldom talk to, or those who might be friends of friends of friends) fleeing the platform like it's no one's business.  But why the exodus?  It's quite simple: People have grown tired of the same old same old.  Many would concede there are benefits to logging on every so often -- from catching timely news to distracting oneself with trending memes or videos of the week. But being barraged with baby pictures and vacation photos for days on end becomes a little tough to stomach after a while.  Granted, some people mean no harm in sharing these special moments with others. It's their way of conveying to the world that they're making the most of their lives and are grateful for the things and people that enrich them. We should try our best to be happy for them, even if we may harbor a smidgen of concealed envy.  However, people und...

Have you ever trusted someone to be there when you need them, only to see them bolt when things really start to fall apart? Maybe you needed advice during your tumultous divorce, a place to stay after the passing of your spouse, or a few bucks after being laid off that you promised to pay back. Yep, we've all been there. It's plain to see why this can be so hurtful. Not only did they leave you in the lurch, but they clearly demonstrated their actions didn't mirror their words. Essentially, they lied, and maybe you can't imagine ever trusting them again -- and rightly so. But we can't give these people the satisfaction of seeing us all bent out of shape, as it will convey that they have us emotionally wrapped around their finger. We ought to remind ourselves that for every person who betrays us, there's one out there who will stand behind us no matter what life throws our way -- whether it be a close friend, reliable neighbor, or caring cousin. Th...

Some of the people we have to deal with in our daily lives are, shall we say, difficult. Our bosses may impose unrealistic demands on us, oblivious to the fact we may have a sick child or parent to attend to. Our relatives might meddle in our business, bringing pressure to bear on us so that we take the course of action they think would make us happy rather than the one we're confident will. (As if they would know us better than we know ourselves.) And even our closest friends can be tough to stomach on their worst days. They may take their frustrations out on us without necessarily intending to, potentially causing a rift in the friendship. Here are a few tips to prevent you from losing your cool: 1. Remind yourself it's only temporary. You may intend to stay in that job another year before moving on. The family member giving you grief -- your cousin Eddie, for example -- may only be in town for another few days. And your friend, normally of a jovial temperament, m...

As most of us have been spending a great deal of time at home lately amid the threat of the coronavirus, it has afforded us the opportunity to stop and reflect -- something we seldom find the time to do in the hustle and bustle of our regular lives. Perhaps you're now considering finally making a career change you've been mulling for years. Maybe all the sobering talk of recession has you dreaming up ways to save or invest money. Or, spending more time with your partner has brought you closer together -- or driven you further apart -- raising questions about your future on the love front. Nonetheless, here are four lessons to be learned from these unprecedented times: 1. It's the little things that matter. We get so caught up in trivial matters -- when the next iPhone is coming out, who the neighbor is cheating on his wife with -- that we lose focus of the things in life that truly count. Spending an extra hour each day playing with your daughter. Finally gettin...

Without even realizing it, some people get into the hard-to-shake habit of always trying to find something to nitpick about their lives. They could have the kind of life others can only dream of -- a bank account flush with cash, a loving spouse, sterling health, wonderful kids, a capacious house, an enviable career. But it's just never enough. They need the latest iPhone. They feel compelled to whip up drama in their relationship once they go too long without having an argument with their partner. They grow bored of every job after six months, despite the fact they're paid handsomely and have nothing to complain about in the workplace. These hard-to-please individuals will be perpetually dissatisfied until the day they realize that life isn't about having the most or best of everything, but about making the most of what one has.  That's not to say that one can't strive to achieve goals and better their station in life. After all, whether we wish to lau...

Instead of striving to be superior to other people, we should aim to be superior to our previous selves. It can be easy to assume, judging from the content people post on social media, that they lead perfect lives. As we sift through photos of Facebook friends sunbathing in the Caribbean, sharing cheesecake at a 5-star restaurant with a partner, or driving away in a souped up Mercedes Benz, we may find ourselves green with envy. But comparing ourselves to others -- whether our coworkers, our neighbors, or are friends -- is an exercise in futility. Really, people are not some monolithic group. We have different tastes and interests, goals and fears, struggles and challenges. While it's good to look up to others and admire what they've accomplished, there's no sense in wishing for the lives they have. After all, they may be doing a good job at masking the fact that their lives leave a lot to be desired. They may very well be having health, money, or marital problems...

Don't allow anyone -- not your friends, not your relatives, not your partner, and not your co-workers -- to put you down for mistakes you've made in the past. Many people have a nasty habit of, in the heat of an argument, or as a result of having a bad day, bringing back to light past mistakes that you've apologized for, learned from, and pledged not to repeat. They likely see it as ammunition they carry in their back pocket in the event they really want to make you feel like crap. They tell themselves that you should be appreciative of the fact they forgave you, even though, in their view, you didn't deserve it. It's as if you "owe" them. If they really forgave you, they should not indulge themselves by giving you guilt trips whenever the mood strikes, even if you've done something more recently to ruffle their feathers. Focusing their ire on the matter at hand is one thing; rehashing things you've put behind you is another entirely. I...

Many people are under the misapprehension that only by gaining the approval of others can we truly be happy. But this couldn't be further from the truth. While people can certainly enrich our lives, some individuals lock themselves into the mindset that without others' validation, they must be doing something wrong. It compels them to plead with these people for answers. It pushes them to change in any way necessary to gain their acceptance. Granted, if the person in question is living recklessly -- say, doing drugs, mistreating his wife, or gambling away his savings every weekend -- it is not surprising that others may not wish to associate themselves with the individual until he changes his ways. But if he isn't harming himself or anyone else, there's no reason to deprive himself of experiencing happiness merely because certain people may not give their stamp of approval. But here's the thing: Happiness comes from inside of you. Others' approval ...

We've all been there: We tell someone we're drawn to them romantically, but it turns out they don't feel the same way. If someone isn't interested in a relationship with you, it can be pretty upsetting, especially if you've imagined hooking up with them for quite some time. Once you know the feelings aren't mutual, what should you do? Below are a couple of suggestions for dealing with rejection. (Note that many of these tips also work in the event that someone breaks up with you.) 1. Don't beg for another chance. If they've told or shown you they're not interested -- whether it's because they are taken, wish to remain single, or see you only as a friend, the worst thing you can do is press the issue further. This can be viewed as stalking or harassment, and the last thing you want is to ruffle the feathers of his or her partner, family or friends -- let alone get in trouble with the law. 2. Don't mope around at home or elsewhere...

If there's something we can agree on, it's that haters lurk in our midst. Whether it's at work or in school, will always be someone who doesn't take kindly to something about us.  Maybe it's our gift for gab, our age, our impressive academic credentials, our BMW, or our ever-expanding circle of friends. And the funny thing is that some of these people secretly admire and look up to us, even though they would never admit it. But rather than worry about the jealous and envious -- whom many would regard as haters -- we should instead focus on the people who bring joy into our lives.  The ones who respect and cheer us on. The people who hold no ill will toward us.  The sad thing is that it isn't always easy to tell who likes us and who doesn't because, as pointed out in earlier entries, some people are, well, masters at faking it. And even if you know that, say, Joe your co-worker isn't your biggest fan, are you really going to ...

If you sense that you're worthless to someone, don't fret. Smile, because you're priceless to someone else! To the world you may be just a tiny, insignificant speck. But to one person, you may be nothing less than the world. Even though we might have good,  caring people in our lives, many of us become preoccupied with the ones who treat us like dirt. We go to great lengths to rationalize why they're behaving this way, especially if we can't put a finger on what we ever did wrong. We let their mood sour ours. We call and text them numerous times in the vain hope that they will give us the time of day. In short. we let them get the best of us -- but why should we? Your value doesn't decrease just because someone is unable to see your worth. And just because someone perceives you as being of little worth doesn't mean others see you that way. In fact, if you have friends, family, and/or a partner who count you among the most important people ...

How many people do you know who only appear when they're in some kind of a bind? Here are a few examples you can probably relate to: They broke up with their boyfriend, and now they're reaching out to you nearly every day. But while they were in their relationship, they acted as if you didn't matter. They had a falling out with a few friends, and now they've suddenly surfaced. However, when things were peachy with their buddies, you couldn't seem to get a hold of them. And how about those we only hear from when they need a favor? Whether it's that they need money or help moving, they seem to vanish off the face of the earth once they get what they need. What do the three scenarios above have in common? They describe users to a tee. If someone wants nothing to do with you when things are going well in their lives, that should make you question why they wish to maintain any kind of relationship. Perhaps they see you as convenient to have around bec...

There's no sense in regretting prior relationships that ended badly. What's done is done. Sure, in an ideal world, we would all see our relationships end amicably, with our exes becoming trustworthy friends. But parting on such favorable terms seldom happens. After a relationship goes down the toilet, people tend to have thoughts along the lines of: "I wasted so much time on that guy." "I knew Sue wasn't right for me. I could have been with Joan all this time." "It was a mistake to have ever even met Tim." This kind of thinking is conducive only to anger and bitterness. You won't resolve anything by trying to rationalize the reasons why things went awry.  And even checking off all the things you did right and your partner did wrong won't repair the relationship. There are some special circumstances where a person might have cause for loathing their ex and wishing they'd never crossed paths (e.g., he or she was ...

There are certain people in our lives whom we see on a daily basis, or thereabouts -- from our coworkers to the mailman to our partner. But just what effect does seeing these individuals every day have on us? Do they become more endearing to us over time, or do we eventually grow tired of seeing them? While the dynamics of the relationship comes into play (e.g., a toxic vs. caring boss, a fruitful marriage vs. a lousy one), the answer, according to social psychology, is both. In the 1960s, Robert Zajonc coined and demonstrated the mere exposure effect. As the name implies, mere exposure creates a positive bias toward a stimulus. The effect explains why you might find yourself humming a song you loathed the first time you heard it. The propinquity effect is the mere-exposure effect when applied to social contexts. In other words, we become friends with people in terms of functional or spatial proximity. In one study, residents of an apartment building were four times more li...

While there are always exceptions, women are generally drawn to men who exude self-confidence. Some of you guys may be scratching your heads and asking, "Wait, I thought women were mostly attracted to men who are nice to them and possess resources (money, cars. etc.)?" This, unfortunately, is a rather common misconception that has caused many men to strike out in the dating arena. You can't expect to buy a woman's affections with compliments, flowers, and jewelry. Women can easily sense when a guy is trying to sweet-talk and spend his way into her heart (and pants). Women are attracted to men who show interest in them, sure, but in a more measured manner. If you tell a woman after only three dates that you love her and look forward to your wedding day, you'll do nothing but scare her off. If, however, you maintain a little mystery about you while exhibiting self-confidence, you're sure to keep her on her toes. Women are drawn to self-confident ...

If you had a choice between two deep, meaningful relationships and 15 superficial ones, which would you choose? (I hope you find this to be a no brainer.) We live in a time when amassing as many Facebook friends and Twitter followers as you can is celebrated, even if many of those people are friends of friends of friends whom you've never spoken to in your life. Our time and energy are not limitless. We ought to reserve them for the few people who enrich our lives -- not for those who couldn't remember our names or where they met us if their lives depended on it. I find that it's a good thing when your circle decreases in size, for it means that it's increasing in value because only the people who truly care remain. Can you imagine how many relationships have gone down the tubes because people stretched themselves thin trying to accommodate countless acquaintances whom, in the end, weren't worth it? When we stop and think about it, hardly any of those ...

Never depend on anyone or anything to feel fulfilled in life. That includes: Your partner Your kids Your friends Your job/employer Your hobbies The operative word here is "depend." We depend on food, water, and oxygen for survival.  When it comes the examples listed above, they can certainly enhance our lives, but life satisfaction shouldn't depend on any one of them.  As we all know, things and people can change at the drop of a hat: Your partner could cheat on or fall out of love with you Your kids may distance themselves from you (or even grow to dislike you) as they get older Shifting priorities may water down your relationships You can be laid off at any given moment, or you may come to hate your job over time You can throw your back, rendering you unable to play football or other games you may enjoy  The car, watch, or mug you love so much could break unexpectedly I'm not saying these things will most definitely happen, but t...

Whether we're at work or at the mall, people often judge us based on two criteria -- very superficial ones, I might add -- in our daily lives: (1) what we own and (2) what we've accomplished. Ever heard the expression, "You are what you eat?" A more accurate version would be, "You are what you wear, what you drive, what you have in your wallet, and what you do for a living." It's a testament to how shallow society has become. Granted, your job is important in that it's part of who you are. But I find it rather unsettling that people would measure others' worth based on what brands they sport and what their title is. For example, a friend of mine is incredulous at the fact that I have no aspirations to become a vice president or CEO. I've told him repeatedly that managing others and spending most of my time in meetings doesn't appeal to me. I'd much rather remain low enough in the food chain where I'm making a decent ...

The reason we expect so much from people is because we would be willing to do that much for them. Unfortunately, though, reality doesn't always align with our expectations. And therein lies the problem: We have a tendency to anticipate that people will think and act like us in a given situation. When they fail to do so, however, we feel let down, if not betrayed. As painful as it can be, our partner, relatives. and close friends will not always act in our best interest. This could happen for a variety of reasons: They put themselves (or even someone else) before you. They don't realize just how much being there really means to you. Life gets in the way.  The important thing is not to take it personally, and the best way to do that is by not having unrealistically high expectations in the first place.  That's not to say that you shouldn't ask others for help when you need it, especially when you've been there for them. And it doesn't mean ...