More likely than not, there is at least one toxic individual in your life whom you're forced to deal with in order to sustain a job or relationship.  Maybe it's your overbearing boss, meddling father-in-law, or a friend's implacable spouse. As I've noted in earlier posts, you're always at liberty to terminate said job or relationship if you find it becomes intolerable, threatening your health and well-being.  Before taking such a drastic step, though, there's always the option to sit down with the person (and maybe you want a co-worker, your partner, or friend there as a buffer) to try to ameliorate the situation.  But let's assume for the sake of argument that you want to do your best to play nice and not rock the boat too much.  Perhaps you've only just begun that job, or you recognize employers in your industry just aren't hiring at the moment. Or you may care so deeply about your partner or friend that you're willing to put up with that pest ...

How many people do you know who only appear when they're in some kind of a bind? Here are a few examples you can probably relate to: They broke up with their boyfriend, and now they're reaching out to you nearly every day. But while they were in their relationship, they acted as if you didn't matter. They had a falling out with a few friends, and now they've suddenly surfaced. However, when things were peachy with their buddies, you couldn't seem to get a hold of them. And how about those we only hear from when they need a favor? Whether it's that they need money or help moving, they seem to vanish off the face of the earth once they get what they need. What do the three scenarios above have in common? They describe users to a tee. If someone wants nothing to do with you when things are going well in their lives, that should make you question why they wish to maintain any kind of relationship. Perhaps they see you as convenient to have around bec...

It can be, at least in certain situations. Here's my take: I feel I get to know someone better on a one-to-one basis. Adding a third person to the equation can change the dynamics of the encounter considerably. A third person brings their own opinions and idiosyncrasies into the mix, some of which you may not find agreeable. That's not to say that three or four close friends can't have a great night out. They certainly can. But when you're getting to know someone, bringing another person into the picture can hamper your ability to get to know him or her on a more personal level. This also happens when you already know the person and would rather talk about certain things you both like and typically talk about -- whether sports, the news, or celebrity gossip. I've found that when it's a party of two, both people open up in ways they wouldn't with other people around, or they just act differently. For example, when we first started dating, I ne...

We all know them: the blabbermouths. They're the people who know no limits when it comes to conversing. They're masters in the art of chit-chat. They talk so much that you've convinced yourself they must love to hear their own voice -- for hours on end. We all have at least one coworker, friend, or relative like this. I don't think there's anything wrong with someone who's overly talkative -- that is, until he or she prevents the other from getting a word in edgewise. I also take issue with people who talk over or interrupt others while they're speaking. Not only is this majorly rude, it's disrespectful. In order for a conversation to flow smoothly, both parties should take turns listening and speaking. If one person is hogging all the time for himself, it makes the exchange seem too one-sided. I quickly lose interest in continuing a conversation once I see the other person attempting to hijack it. As interesting as the person's stories m...

In case you're new to Facebook or you don't really use it for anything other than to look at others' profiles, it has a feature called "checking in." When you check in, Facebook tracks down your location via your phone or computer's GPS and lets you indicate what venue you're currently at -- whether it's a restaurant, store, or concert. Your Facebook friends will receive an alert to that end on their News Feed. I hardly ever check in; I only do so when I know it'll likely lead to a compelling conversation of some sort. For example, many of my friends are movie buffs like me. If I check in saying I'm watching a popular movie at the local theater, chances are they'll reply with their opinion of the movie, assuming they've already seen it. When I check in at the ballpark, my baseball buddies will chime in saying they're watching the game at home, and we'll go back and forth as the game wears on. Unfortunately, I've notice...

One of the most cowardly things a person can do is to talk smack behind someone's back . Unfortunately, this has become all too common in virtually any context we can think of -- work, school, even at home. Let's stop for a moment and consider why someone might want to badmouth someone behind his or her back. In most cases, it's because the person is upset with or envious of the individual and wants to find a way to stick it to them without having an actual confrontation. Thus begin rumors and a lot of he-said-she-said, putting those in the middle -- the ones made to listen to the remarks in secret -- in a tough situation. Truthfully, talking behind someone's back has a juvenile quality to it. Why not act like adults and talk face to face? When people's emotions get the best of them, they can act callously. Most people like drama to some degree -- otherwise, reality shows ranging from The Kardashians to The Real Housewives wouldn't have such a big fol...

We've all been there at some point -- whether at home, school, or in the house of someone we just met. We become shy. We clam up. We have nothing to say. It leads others to assume we're shy, antisocial, even self-absorbed. As I've mentioned in other posts, sometimes it takes a real, concerted effort to get myself to talk to people. I try to avoid chit chat at all costs. Whether it's because I am tired or just not in the mood to gab, shutting myself from the world is all too tempting. Completely isolating yourself from everyone, though, is not feasible, especially when you work in Corporate America. Good communication skills are a requirement for most every job that calls for interacting with employees and/or clients. But this isn't exclusive to the work world. There are also the family get-togethers and other occasions that can drive the shy and introverted batty. I've come up with a technique that can help me better tolerate these situations. You kn...