Now that the holidays are here, everyone's first order of business outside of work is to buy their loved ones presents. In some people's minds, the bigger and more expensive the item, the better.  But let's face it: Even though we have good intentions, love -- at the end of the day -- isn't measured in gifts. It's measured in the little things we do every day (not just during Christmas) to show people we love them, such as  Surprising them with a hot cup of coffee on a frigid morning Creating a scrapbook with pictures that capture special memories  Sending texts throughout the day just to let the other know they are thinking of them Taking them to a museum to see a popular exhibit he or she never experienced as a kid  Chatting poolside over coffee into the wee hours  Cooking his or her favorite meal on any ordinary day -- as a way of saying "you're special and deserve this" True love is priceless - it cannot be quantified. If a man can't afford to ...

Here's a big relationship no-no: Never hook up with Someone who only values your looks, bank account, or both.  I know what you're thinking: With some people, this isn't easy to tell in the beginning being that they can do a great job of masking their real intentions.  For example, you may have once dated someone whose penchant for gold-digging may not have become evident until two years after you began dating. Or, you may not have picked up on your boyfriend's aim to use you for only one thing until after the honeymoon phase passed. Fair enough.  Some individuals can be awfully deceptive. But as soon as they show their true colors, I implore you not to wait until they change (which is unlikely to happen) -- let alone embark to change them yourself. Just end it -- plain and simple -- before you become any more invested.  A partner worth keeping is one who covets what lies beneath more than they do the superficial. And that's because what lies deep within is what mak...

Ever heard the saying "It's not about the journey, but the destination"? If don't allow ourselves the freedom to enjoy the ride -- even if we don't reach said destination when we want (if ever), happiness will always lie out of reach.  That being said, we should never attach our happiness to outcomes.  In other words, don't set your expectations sky high so as to set yourself up for disappointment in the event things don't work out as planned.  We all want to have lifelong relationships, to have a lot of money, to have the perfect job. While some people may be lucky enough to have one or more of the above, chances are you may hit snags along the way that prompt several detours. Our lives will never be perfect. What we imagine in our minds doesn't always materialize, and that's okay.  Though miserable at first, we may realize later that where we ended up was the vastly superior path.  For example, your 15-year relationship may end abruptly. After pr...

We live in a shallow world where one's physical appearance and material possessions can be the deciding factor in whether you get the job or the girl. In my estimation, intelligence -- and that includes deep intellectual curiosity -- isn't assigned enough weight by most people.  The stereotype against "nerds" and "geeks" is one we are well familiar with. We might have been labeled as such in our youth if we always got good grades, or had a bespectacled overachieving friend whose work everyone looked to copy. What I don't understand is this: Why can't being smart for its own sake be an it-thing?  While money can be lost and material stuff can rust, no one can take your intellectual prowess away from you. (Notice I said "no one" and not "nothing." I know there are terrible accidents and health conditions, like Alzheimers, that can rob you of your mental faculties. Some may argue, however, that you can deal self-inflicted wounds by t...

The best things in life are not things at all. Indeed, the best things in life are intangible in nature. They include: Love for family and friends Peace Health Tranquility Knowledge Memories Experiences Comfort Security  Let me put it this way: When you're in your dead bed, are you going to be thinking about your huge flat screen TV or sporty car? Perhaps you'll have to if you're drawing up a will in your final hours. But other than that, why even bother thinking of them if you can't take them with you? This certainly runs contrary to what we're taught at an early age: That life should be about pursuing the biggest and best money can buy. Sadly, it isn't until very late into their lives that they realize this was all a crock.  I'm not saying one can't have nice things; after all, we work our butts off, so we might as well treat ourselves occassionally.  But regarding materialism as central to your happiness is taking...

Chances are you've already heard or read about the untimely passing of NBA icon Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and 7 other passengers in a horrific helicopter crash that took place Sunday. Kobe had it all: Money, fame, family, health. And, yet, his life was taken from him just like that. Perhaps someone special in your own life has died unexpectedly, leaving you heartbroken and questioning why such events befall us. It really puts things in perspective and demonstrates just how precious life really is. Rather than holding grudges and stressing over insignificant things, we should strive to make the most of the short time we're on this planet. And we can do that by: Counting our blessings and making the most of what we have instead of always perceiving something as missing. Cherishing time spent with friends and family.  Indulging hobbies that make us come alive, whether that be reading, sunbathing, or volunteering at the local shelter.  Aiming to ach...

If I were to ask you what might make someone in your life -- whether a friend or dating prospect -- build a deep affection for you, what would you say? Your first instinct might be to respond with, "Doing nice things for them." Ironically, though, research has shown that we can actually get people to care about us more by having them do favors for us.  At first blush, this might seem rather counterintuitive, but it actually makes perfect sense. We have an affinity for the things and people we invest resources in -- whether time or money. So if we're taking time out of our busy day for someone, we start to think, "Hey, I must really care about this individual if I'm going the extra mile." Sure, if people do nice things for us, we can form a favorable impression of them. But it isn't until we find ourselves going out of our way for them that we realize they may very well occupy a special place in our heart. If being nice alone did the trick...

Does anyone treat you like you're below them -- whether it's because they have a higher position, nicer car, or bigger house? Kick them to the curb. If a person is so shallow as to put physical objects before the things that really count -- friendship, love, respect, humility -- give them the boot. No one is above anyone else. A janitor is just as deserving of others' respect and kindness as a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. One's possessions say nothing of their character. While I'm not trying to begrudge them their success -- especially if they worked their butts off to get what they have -- it should never make people feel entitled. Who's to say that the garbage man or waitress hasn't gone through tremendous hardship in life preventing him or her from going to school and rising above their station? And who's to say they can't eventually reach that point if they truly commit themselves? Yet, not everyone yearns to be rich. They ma...

How many people have you come across in your life who have been envious of something you possess or have accomplished? Maybe it's the new car you bought or the Hamilton tickets you managed to snag. Perhps it's the promotion you landed as a result of your hard work. Or perhaps they envy your fairytale-like marriage. While I've emphasized that material possessions don't bring us lasting happiness, you have every right to acquire and enjoy whatever you please. As long as you're not spending recklessly and hurting yourself or others in the process, what you buy with your hard-earned money is no one else's business. People should focus on themselves and quit worrying about what others are buying, whether it be cheap or expensive.  The problem is that human beings have this seemingly unshakeable tendency to compare themselves to other people.  Certain individuals can't live with the fact that others may have a better house, a prettier spouse,...

Stop what you're doing for a moment. Take a deep breath. Put a smile on your face. Tell yourself these words: "It's going to be okay." You've come too far in your life to give up. Whether you're healing from wounds of your past or stressing over the question marks in your future, remind yourself that true happiness lies in making the most of the present. Things will get better over time. If you're mired in relationship, health, or money struggles, rest assured that the worst storms often give way to much sunnier days. Never feel afraid to reach out -- whether to friends, family, a professional (or even to me) for a helping hand. I know that sometimes being positive is easier said than done. Just when we think we've come out of a hole, life seems to put us into a deeper one. But resigning ourselves to the opposite state of mind -- negativity -- will only serve to exacerbate the depression or anxiety we're already feeling. As long a...

Conventional wisdom holds that if you do someone a favor, that person is bound to like you more. However, research has revealed something entirely different: If you do someone a favor, it is you who will like that person more as a result.  But how can this be? The reason is that we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the person the favor because, well, we really like them. This phenomenon is called the Ben Franklin effect . Franklin once quipped, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." Legend has it that Franklin, a Founding Father and renowned scientist, leveraged this discovery to win the favor of a rival Pennsylvania legislator by asking the legislator to lend him a rare book and then showering him with gratitude. It worked like a charm. According to Franklin,"When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civ...

The right man or woman will love you for your heart and mind, and not just for your body or wallet. Above all else, he or she will value your top character traits, whether that be kindness, faithfulness, loyalty, intelligence, integrity, or a great sense of humor. A good man gives precedence to a woman's feelings, goals, and passions over the size of her breasts and how good she is in the sack. A good woman focuses on ways his qualities complement hers rather than how much money she can wring from him. (And let's not make the dangerous mistake of pigeonholing men and women into traditional gender roles. Some women can be just as superficial as men when it comes to looks, and some men are on a mission to find only sugar mamas.) But we'd be remiss if we didn't concede that physical appearance and financial resources do count to a certain degree. Would most of us want to go on a date with someone who's 300 pounds overweight, broke, and deeply in debt? Pro...

The untimely deaths of fashion designer Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain this week -- both from apparent suicides -- have rocked the entertainment world and left many people asking one key question: How can people who have so much -- money, fame, a bevy of accomplishments to their name -- commit suicide? Interestingly, I wrote separate entries in recent days that touch on these topics peripherally. Here they are in case you missed them: 2 effective ways to combat depression A sad truth about many people we know The first entry suggests helpful ways of keeping your mind off of whatever is dragging you down, like staying busy through mentally rigorous activities. The latter post attempts to dispel the notion that money and material possessions translate into indefinite happiness. Spade and Bourdain's deaths are the latest in a string of celebrity suicides in recent years. You may recall that Robin Williams, one of world's most celebrated actors, took...

A few days ago, I came across a picture on Facebook that had the following caption: "We buy stuff we don't need -- with money we don't have -- to impress people we don't like." Perhaps you can name a few people in your life -- whether at work or at the gym -- who do precisely that. Maybe that person has been you from time to time. The sad reality is that people often become so hung up on the things they perceive as missing in their lives that they lose sight of everything they already have. In many cases, this results from direct comparisons to people in their circle, thus igniting the urge to "Keep up with the Joneses." As I've said before, there's nothing wrong with indulging yourself every so often. Eat at that fancy restaurant you've been wanting to try. Buy yourself that expensive pair of shoes you say online. You work hard for your money; if you have the means, why not? I take issue, however, with people who have to have the...

Want to know who's most responsible for your happiness? That's easy. Look in the mirror . It isn't your partner, children, siblings, or friends. Happiness emanates from inside, which means only you complete yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent -- one of my favorite quotes, I might add. Oprah Winfrey quipped that you cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you but yourself. And, as Mandy Hale puts it, happiness is an inside job, and you should never assign anyone else that much power over your life. Instead, you should wield that power to make a better life for yourself. Do whatever makes you happy -- whether it's exploring new continents or simply laying by the pool at home. Happiness starts with you -- not with your job, relationships, or money. If that weren't the case, there wouldn't be people in the world who have found a way to enjoy ...

As satisfying as the feeling of completing a project or getting a pat on the back from the boss may be, being overworked is never a good thing. It means you have less time for the things and people you value in your life. If you're under a great deal of stress, you may be suffering from sleep deprivation, anxiety, depression, and other health issues. That's why it's always best to work smarter rather than harder. Assess your work day and see if there's any way you can reshuffle your tasks/agenda so as to give you a little breathing room. Maybe you could use a temp or assistant, or perhaps you can ask your boss if he or she can cut back on the number of jobs being thrown your way. And if you feel that all the extra work merits a promotion or pay increase, let your supervisor know. You may very well be rewarded handsomely for the extra time you're putting it, but you won't know for sure until you broach the subject. At the end of the day, employers really ...

The happiest people aren't those who have the best of everything . If that were the case, you would never see millionaire athletes and celebrities getting into crippling debt, being arrested for drugs or driving drunk, settling nasty divorces with their spouses, or, in the worst cases, committing suicide. Instead, the happiest people make the best of everything they have.  The key to being happy is striking the right balance between the desire to acquire more and achieving a state of contentedness with what you already hold in your possession. Some people can't help themselves. They want a brand new car every year or two. They want the latest iPhone as soon as it comes out, even if their version still works perfectly. I'm the polar opposite: I use things until they're almost falling apart. I held on to my last car for 10 years, and it still pained me to part with it. The only thing that prompted me to sell it was the fact it was mysteriously hydroplaning in ...

According to a recent survey, many women still want their partner to be the primary breadwinner -- or at least make as much money as they do. More than 1 in 5 women -- or 22% -- say they wouldn't date someone who makes less money than them. That's compared with 4% of men who said they wouldn't date someone who earns less than they do. Another study found 69% of women said they'd feel uncomfortable paying all the bills compared with 46% of men. These findings aren't all that surprising. Despite the shrinking gender wage gap and more women rising to high-level executive positions, women still make less money than men for the same jobs -- 83 cents on the dollar. Thus, it follows that many women prefer having a partner whom they don't have to support. But women who are this picky may be missing out on great opportunities out in the dating realm. Even if he makes slightly less money, a man may make a great partner. Other variables should certainly be we...

I've gone to more job interviews than I can count with my hands and toes. Over the years, I've observed signals conveying that the interviewer isn't sufficiently interested in me as a candidate, whether it's because they've already chosen an internal candidate for the job, feel I'm asking for too much money, or think I lack job experience. Such signs may include wrapping up the interview quickly. For example, I was once invited to an interview for a job with my alma mater. It lasted a whopping five minutes, leading me to assume that job had someone else's name on it and they were just going through the motions to conform to hiring regulations. It's also not a good sign when I'm not asked any questions, when the interviewer arrives late/doesn't seem prepared for the interview, or when they're blatantly rude or disrespectful. Employers who are genuinely interested in you don't stoop to this level; they care about the impression th...

People talk about winning the lottery as if it were the Holy Grail everyone is after. And, sure, having a lot of money can enhance your life in myriad ways. You can pay off your house and buy a much bigger one, purchase a luxurious car, do away with your college loan debt, buy expensive clothes and jewelry with no restraint, etc. Society tells us this is the ideal life. But is it really the kind of life we ALL yearn for? Not me. Instead, I just want to be comfortable financially, and that's well within everyone's reach by (1) saving up (2) scouring the internet and newspapers for great deals (3) staying within or below one's budget. I can only surmise that people who are rich feel immense pressure to display with their wealth. (Not to mention they likely get asked for money left and right by friends and relatives.) The issue is that I'm the farthest thing from a materialistic person, so if I found myself thrust into that situation, I would not feel compelled...