Thanks to the pandemic, introversion -- at least for the time being -- is the new normal, or, at the very least, is far more socially acceptable than it was just a few months ago. Who knows? It may very well become the new cool going forward in a society that ordinarily frowns upon those who value solitude and time for quiet reflection. It feels as though introverts have been waiting and prepared for an event like this their whole lives. Although I've touched upon introversion in earlier posts, here's a quick recap of what it really means to be an introvert: You draw energy inward. You're not necessarily shy or antisocial -- you simply need alone time for recharging.  You prefer small groups to large ones. You value one-on-one conversations because fewer participants means not having to vie with several others to get a word in edgewise.  You prefer communicating in writing rather than verbally because it affords you the opportunity to think through yo...

. Introverts like me feel like we've been prepared for an event like the coronavirus virtually our entire lives. Under normal circumstances, we consciously seek out solitude in order to clear our minds and recharge our batteries -- especially after dealing with people for hours on end. Now, alone time has been thrust upon us. It's as if social distancing were tailor-made for introverts the world over. While extroverts, who thrive on social interaction, might regard having to stay at home for weeks or months as an unwelcome disruption in their lives, introverts are receiving it with open arms. We thrive on written communication. We relish alone time. We thrill at the opportunity to enjoy solitary pursuits. That's not to suggest we're misanthropes who loathe people and would gladly barricade ourselves in our homes if given the opportunity. We enjoy social interaction -- just in smaller doses, and with fewer people. In fact, introverts are known to become q...

As I've noted in prior posts, many people are regarded as shy, antisocial, or even weird just because they enjoy their own company. It doesn't matter that they make a genuine effort to interact with others. Because they're not constantly loud and seeking the spotlight -- and we see this happen all the time in the workplace -- they're labeled as awkward, secretive, and even stuck-up. And thanks to the press propagating the notion that all dangerous and mentally unstable people are loners, it has made the public fearful of anyone who comes across as reticent. What many people don't understand is that not everyone feels every thought that pops into their mind should be verbalized. Some of us simply like to observe and think through what we're going to say before opening our mouths. Introverts draw energy inward. After interacting with people for a good chunk of the day, they seek alone time in order to recharge their batteries. Such time allows them to ...

What's worse than being home by yourself while all your friends and family are out and about? That's easy: A relationship in which your partner makes you feel lonely. Think about it. You're with someone whom you turn to for affection, attention, and advice. But whether it's because your partner is always working, traveling, indifferent, or in their own world mentally, your needs always go unmet. You feel as though you're living by yourself, but you're really not. It can be like crying out for help and never receiving a response. If you've raised the issue with your partner but still seem unable to get through to him or her, it might be time to decide whether you should seek counseling, or if you're better off pulling the plug altogether. It has been scientifically proven that loneliness distorts our perceptions of our relationships. Studies have discovered that merely asking people to recall times they felt lonely was sufficient to make t...

One of the biggest challenges we face is trying to be ourselves in a world that is trying to make us like everyone else. Some people will stop at nothing to get you to think and act like them. Don't allow it! Make it clear that you will relinquish your uniqueness for no one. Assert that you will celebrate your individuality until your last breath. When they push you to blend in, learn to stand apart. When they goad you to compromise your values or beliefs, stand firm like a rock. Why would anyone wish to be a replica rather than an original? Sure, human bonding calls for a bit of compromise -- a little give and take, if you will. But never should anyone make you feel bad for being resolute in your desire to project your most authentic self to the world. Extroverts might try to convert you into one of them. No matter how well you fake it, though, your introverted temperament will win out because, well, it's the real you. You need solitude in order to recharge you...

Sometimes we need to extricate ourselves -- even if temporarily -- from others' drama and negativity. We need to wriggle free of adversity we may be confronting at work, home, or elsewhere. Our well-being depends on it! So how exactly can we do this? It depends on whatever it is you like -- whatever it is that drives you. Perhaps nothing spells relaxation like losing yourself in a good book during your lunch break before heading back to your desk. Maybe you recharge by taking a leisurely stroll in the park after work. You may notice that you haven't taken a vacation in almost a year and yearn to get away from it all -- whether that means sunbathing in the Caribbean, skiing in the Alps, or exploring historic attractions in Washington, D.C. Or maybe a spa weekend that includes a rejuvenating massage or stress-melting sauna session is just what the doctor ordered. No one says that relaxing has to carry a big price tag. For some people, putting the phone down and ...

As George Washington, the first president of the United States, once said, " It is better to be alone than in bad company ." He of all people would know. He was constantly surrounded by them, from his days as general of the Continental Army during the American Revolution to his tenure as the nation's first commander in chief. Washington was touted as being a great judge of character. You can only imagine the tough personalities he had to deal with in public life. Though he was unanimously elected to two terms as president of the fledgling nation, he had no shortage of critics who were quick to pounce on policies  -- like the infamous Jay Treaty -- that they vehemently objected to. Washington had days where he probably felt the urge to tell his detractors to go fly a kite. Indeed, as the quote above suggests, he preferred his own company to that of certain people. For whatever reason, many people have been led to believe that enjoying their own company -- being a...

I'm going to go against the grain of society and say that if you're a quiet person -- and like being that way -- you shouldn't aim to fundamentally change who you are just to appease other people. On the other hand, you should take pride in being different from the vast majority of people out there. I get so annoyed when people -- be they coworkers or acquaintances -- ask others why they're so quiet. It makes me want to turn around and ask them, "And why can't you keep your mouth shut?" Of course, there are situations in which you can't escape communicating with others -- interviewing for a job, making a presentation, calling a disgruntled customer over the phone, etc. Sometimes you just have to "fake it to make it." But that doesn't mean you have to change the essence of who you are. Why would you? Let's face it: No matter how hard you may try to change from a timid, unassuming introvert to a loquacious extrovert, the real ...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Many assume that if someone is alone, time must sit still -- that within a matter of minutes, he or she is probably bored out of his mind and itching to do something to make the clock move a little faster. Well, while this may be true for some, it certainly doesn't apply to those who actually relish their time alone. Why? Because if the person is alone, there's a high probability they're introverted and enjoy their own company. If that's so, there's no reason to think they'd want time to fly. Being introverted doesn't mean you're shy, antisocial, or snobbish. It means you draw energy inward. Peace, quiet, and solitude recharge you. You enjoy being deep in thought. Heavy social interaction leaves you exhausted. In reality, introverts have such rich imaginations that they can momentarily escape reality and live comfortably in their heads when the urge strikes. From debating the merits of climate change to picturing what life was like in the...

As I've pointed out in other posts, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. When people wish to be alone, they usually do so deliberately, whereas being lonely tends to be an undesirable consequence of a particular event, like breaking up with your boyfriend, moving to a new city, etc. People can desire to be alone for a host of reasons: To clear their heads To gather their thoughts To recharge after a long day at work To read or pursue other solitary tasks in a quiet environment They're not in the mood to be around people, especially after someone has done something to disappoint them And many more... Unfortunately, sometimes society makes people who crave alone time out to be weirdos. They're constantly given labels like "antisocial" and "stuck-up." Oftentimes, these descriptors have no basis in reality. Many people -- especially the highly extroverted, who thrive on social interaction -- fail to understand tha...

At How to Understand People, few topics are explored as extensively as that of personality. I find it to be such a compelling subject that I base at least a couple of posts on it each month. In case you missed some of my earlier posts on personality, here's a quick rundown of the chief differences between introverts and extroverts. In general, introverts: Direct their energy inward Become overwhelmed by too much stimuli (noises, colors, etc.) Become easily drained by heavy social interaction Prefer small groups of people to large ones Routinely need to recharge their batteries by being alone in a quiet setting Enjoy reading, writing, and other solitary activities Get put off by small talk Like delving deeply into subjects of interest (history, politics, science, etc.) Think carefully before they speak Don't waste words Are not confrontational Are likely to pursue careers in the arts or that require working behind the scenes In general, extroverts: Ar...