I often hear people grumble over not having a Valentine or person to spend the holidays with, even though they acknowledge that singlehood still has its perks.  The biggest dating mistake keeping folks single is choosing the wrong people based on instant chemistry instead of long-term compatibility . Many people rely too heavily on that initial spark—mistaking attraction or excitement for a genuine connection. The initial connection is so infectious that they reason it has to be something deep and meaningful.  But chemistry alone isn't enough to build an enduring relationship. In fact, once the honeymoon phase has passed, both people's flaws and problems come to the fore. It is then you really know whether the relationship is built to last.  The key to breaking this cycle is: - Focusing not just charm or physical attraction, but on shared values and emotional availability  - Paying close attention to consistency over time—does this person follow through on what they ...

I'll be the first one to admit that sometimes I have a tendency to dwell on the negative. I harp on what could go wrong instead of what could go right. It's this kind of mindset that often leads to failure and disappointment. But why should we be pessimistic at all? In the grand scheme of things, it does us little good. In fact, negativity is known to induce depression, lack of self esteem, and other negative outcomes. The best thing you can do is harness that negative energy and turn it into something positive. Go to the gym and enjoy a vigorous workout. Blast the music loudly. Look at pictures of baby animals. Do whatever brings a smile to your face, all while telling yourself "I can do it. I will get through this. I will prevail." Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, once quipped, "Believe you can and you're halfway there." I think negativity begins to set in once we feel we're no longer in control of our lives. But it d...