Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

A new study in the journal of Current Biology establishes a link between temporary anxiety and -- wait for it -- obsessive cleaning. It turns out that being in an anxious state may in fact make people tidy up.  Researchers primed a group of college students into freaking out over a public speaking task. They were presented with a shiny statue and asked to prepare a speech about it in front of a panel of experts. Following the speech, they were told to clean the object. (In addition, there was a control group comprised of students who were not required to give a speech.) Those who had to give the anxiety-inducing speech were more repetitive in how they cleaned. The amount of anxiety the students reported feeling over the task predicted how many repeated movements they made while cleaning, as well as how long they cleaned the object before they deemed it reasonably clean. In times of stress, people might turn to repetitive behavior like cleaning because it gives the...

We'd all agree that working with younger people has its advantages and disadvantages, as does working with more seasoned coworkers. But what one finds to be a pro or con about a certain age group really depends on their own age, experience, and other factors. In general, though, you can probably pinpoint a few characteristics of younger and older employees that would hold no matter where you work. For starters, many younger employees -- those in their 20s and 30s -- are eager to prove themselves, sometimes leading them to angle for the big projects and clients before they've earned their stripes (much to the chagrin of some bosses who want to keep those for themselves). While people can still be ambitious in their 50s and 60s, they may not be as aggressive in showcasing their skills or fishing for plum projects. At this juncture, they're usually settled and averse to job hopping, especially as they eye retirement. I've also observed that younger employees se...

If you feel unfulfilled at work and reason that your lack of friendships in the workplace is the culprit, think again. Mixing business and pleasure is ill-advised. It's appalling how many of my coworkers open up about their personal lives to other people in the department. For example, a young woman who sits in the cubicle next to me recently broke up with her boyfriend and has made it a habit of hers to spill her guts about the breakup every day. I understand human beings have an inherent need to bond with and seek consolation from those in their immediate environment, but that's what parents, spouses, siblings, and friends outside of work are for. Relating details of your personal life to coworkers has the potential to blow up in your face. You never know who you can really trust out there, especially when dealing with people in the workplace whom you may not know all that well. Perhaps you feel comfortable enough to do this with coworkers whom you've been worki...

I have a coworker who literally announces whenever he has to go to the bathroom. Another person I work with always voices when she is hungry. Still another coworker -- as soon as the clock strikes 12:30 -- verbalizes in advance that she is going to lunch. Why must people put everything on the table?  Are some individuals so narcissistic these days as to assume that others need to know everything they're thinking, doing, and planning? Something that has seemingly gotten lost on these folks is the art of mystery. One of the things I find so unsettling about the workplace is that these kinds of scenarios play out on a daily basis. And given how closely packed together cubicles are becoming to accommodate an ever-increasing number of employees, it's an inescapable reality. I think the reason people are this way is because, put simply, they're attention hounds. They're anything but self-contained. They're constantly looking for validation from others. They ne...

I'm talking about butt kissers. Brown nosers. People who use flattery to curry favor. Sadly, it tends to be the primary weapon in the arsenal of people who want: A promotion at work To get laid  Someone to do him or her a favor And, oddly enough, this strategy tends to work! But that doesn't mean I am going to use it -- not today, not any day.  There's a saying that says, "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."  If not complimenting a person's hair or dress every day makes me a bad guy, then so be it. I am nice and friendly, yes, but kissing ass is not in my repertoire -- nor will it ever be. This seems to be most rampant in the workplace, where people kiss up to the big wigs like there's no tomorrow.  If you're going to give someone a compliment, don't do it unless it's entirely genuine. And if you sense someone's compliments toward you are disingenuous, your gut is probably on point...

Want to know one of the many things that makes people get bored of their jobs? Predictability . Not just in terms of the work itself, but the people who surround us in the workplace. I work with an older gentleman who is the epitome of routine. Let's call him Andy. I thought I was a creature of habit until I met this guy. I can tell you exactly how Andy goes about his day: He goes to the cafeteria to get coffee at 9 a.m., grabs his lunch at 11:30 a.m. and eats at his desk, goes on his actual break at 12:30 p.m., makes some more coffee at 3 p.m., eats an apple at 3:30 p.m., and then bolts out of the office at 5:30 p.m. sharp. He does this every day , without fail. What's worse, he makes a pastime out of hurling the same tired jokes over and over again. We spend more time with co-workers than we do friends and family. Is it any wonder we grow tired of seeing the same people 40+ hours a week? It'd be nice if we rotated cubicles every so often and got to know differen...

As noted in prior posts, I've worked with a couple of guys who have hooked up with co-workers and gone on to marry them. In such cases, everything panned out, but not everyone who chooses to become romantically involved with someone at work ends up with a fairy tale ending. The risks inherent in mixing business with pleasure are quite obvious: If the relationship goes awry, being around each other at work might get awkward Rumors might swirl when other people you work with get wind of your office romance, i.e., that you're getting special privileges from higher-ups (especially if the other person is one of them) Your relationship problems may spill into the workplace If you plan on dating a co-worker, I suggest you do your best to keep it private. If you're not sure you can do that, your options are as follows: Carry on with the relationship and hope no one at work finds out One person leaves the company so as to avoid any workplace drama  End the relationshi...

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

There's a girl I work with (let's call her Ana) who loves chatting up Cindy, my cubicle neighbor. Though Cindy is about 15 years Ana's senior, you'd think the two are best friends upon hearing them converse. They can blather on for hours about everything from food and children to the usual workplace gossip. Today, my department had a holiday lunch at a nearby restaurant. Ana, a male coworker named Andy, and I carpooled to the restaurant. On the way there, Ana began dishing about Cindy and some of the other women in the department. She commented on everything from their dressing habits to their rather "old school" perspectives, as she put them, on life. (Mind you, these women are in their 50s and 60s.) You might be thinking, "Poor Cindy. She probably doesn't deserve that." But Cindy herself has been known to talk behind others' backs, so, as I see it, she's getting a taste of her own medicine. This goes to show you that backstabbers ...

I've noticed a trend when poring over my Facebook Wall posts: It's usually women who love submitting posts about anything and everything in their lives, from pictures of the foods they eat at restaurants to videos of their newborns. Yet, most men don't seem to share this inclination to publicize everything. Sure, they post pictures and other content here and there, but not to the same degree as their female counterparts. Is it that women are simply trying to outdo other women? It's a well-known fact that women size each other up all the time. Women keenly observe how other women dress, their bodies, their hair, and even their mannerisms. Whether in the workplace or at the club, they are always in competition with each other. Now, that's not to say that men aren't competitive with one another, but I've seen it happen more often with the fairer sex -- and the latter tend to be less subtle about it. I've noted in earlier posts that Facebook is becom...

Throughout my entire life, I have always been a relatively quiet guy -- the type who lets work and writing do the "talking" for him. I tend to observe and gather my thoughts before stepping in. I don't usually open my mouth unless I have something meaningful to say. I avoid small talk like the plague. These are the well-documented hallmarks of an introvert. Though I have always found comfort in my introspective ways, this certainly hasn't sat well with some people I've come across at school and in the workplace. In middle and high school, I had several peers (and even some teachers) question why I was so quiet. My taciturn demeanor and reluctance to speak up, unfortunately, made me an easy target for bullies, some of whom I came very close to getting into fist fights with. It isn't as though I didn't have friends or speak to classmates; I simply kept a low profile and minded my own business. I've encountered the same issue at work -- that is, peo...