Many of my readers have maintained that a key reason they're afraid to jump into a new relationship is because of the disastrous, toxic one they've only just escaped. Fair enough. And you deserve time to grieve the end of the relationship, for even though your life is sure to improve for the better, getting used to not having him or her in your life (especially if you'd been with them for many years) is an adjustment that doesn't happen overnight.  However, I do take issue with people, once ready to get back in the relationship saddle, turning down great opportunities, because, well, their ex John or Beth was a nightmare and this new potential partner may be just the same. Only by giving people a chance do you give yourself the opportunity to move on.  I understand feeling vulnerable and wanting to erect something of an emotional wall at first to protect your feelings.  But you can't allow the ghost of your ex to haunt you forever.  For all you know, this person wil...

Many of us would admit to drawing comparisons between ourselves and celebrities who have achieved great fame and wealth. Maybe you've compared your physique to that of Dwayne Johnson, your hair to that of Scarlett Johansson, or your zany sense of humor to that of Chris Rock. As long as you're not trying to be these people -- recognizing that while you can get inspiration from them, you're your own person -- I see no problem with it. After all, we can respect and admire the Hollywood elite without necessarily aping their mannerisms, buying all the products they endorse, and longing to be in their very shoes. However, when it comes to a relationship, you're dealing with someone you presumably love and trust, and who loves and trusts you. Someone who values you for who you are. These are the kinds of comparisons that will not only land you in water, but possibly put the relationship in serious jeopardy: 1. Comparing your partner to your ex, or someone you fee...

You should not date someone who is unable to stop thinking or talking about their ex. Maybe you catch them talking with a friend about them, calling you by his or her name accidentally, or even keeping photos of them locked in a drawer. Their inability to let their ex go signals that they likely still hold feelings for him or her. No one wants to be in a relationship where they feel as though they're vying for the affections of their partner. Anyone who's having a rough go at moving on -- whether the relationship failed principally because of them or their ex -- has no business pairing up with someone new so quickly. It all screams "rebound relationship," which isn't fair to the new guy or gal in that person's life. I can think of few things as insensitive and selfish as purely using someone to either get over or even with an ex, or to use them as a distraction while they angle to get back with that person behind the scenes. Toying with someone...

Valentine's Day can be a real drag for romantic hopefuls who have yet to stumble upon Mr. or Ms. Right. But don't despair! He or she may waltz into your life quicker than you anticipate. Here are a few tips for meeting someone -- not just any person, but a special individual with whom you can forge a path to long-term bliss: 1. Let people know you're single and ready to mingle. The term "networking" is thrown around all the time in the working world, but it can also be a handy tool in one's quest for romance. Have you told friends and loved ones that you're looking? Perhaps they know someone whom they can fix you up with, or at the very least you can establish connections with people in their circle -- e.g., a friend of a friend's sister's cousin at the birthday party -- that may lead to a fateful encounter with a promising candidate. You obviously don't want people all up in your business, either. For example, I wouldn't advise...

In the last couple of months, a few of my readers have reached out to me seeking advice on how to cope with the fact that a relationship that once held great promise has imploded completely. They imagined themselves spending their entire lives with their partner, so coming to terms with the harsh reality that the individual didn't turn out as they expected and is no longer around has been immensely difficult.  They feel anxious, depressed, and lost. Despite the fact that they realize the person isn't right for them (as much as they wish they were), and that going their separate ways is for the best, a part of them clings to the hope that they can patch things up.  This prompts them to reach out to their ex against their better instincts. They keep looking for a sign -- one moment, one conversation -- to convince them that things are on the mend.  Alas, that sign never seems to come.  The more they talk, the more my readers seem to argue with the...

How do you know if someone is on the rebound? A person might be considered on the rebound if he or she becomes involved in a serious relationship that shortly follows the ending of a previous one. And if the person was dumped -- especially if they never saw it coming -- it only amplifies feelings of wanting to get with someone new to get their mind off the whole ordeal. If you are dating someone who is rebounding, you may question if he or she is capable of emotional attachment or if you are, instead, simply a substitute for love that was lost. It can be especially hurtful when you sense that the person you're with isn't entirely over their ex. They might bring him or her up in conversations, whether they're mentioning how terrible the ex was or, even worse, comparing you both ("John was so much tidier than you are.") You may also take notice of the fact that they continue to hold on to and revisit photo albums, cards, and gifts that the ex gave them...

Facebook is now testing a feature that would allow you to hide your ex's relationship status. Essentially, Facebook wants to give users more control to limit the many instances in which their ex's might pop up on their browser while using the social networking site. This not only applies to posts that populate on your News Feed, but even to "suggestions" Facebook gives you on who you might wish to tag in photos. In fact, you'll be able to go back and "untag" your ex on pictures and other content you shared on the site while you were still together. Facebook asserts that it is doing this to make it easier for people to get over breakups. We've all heard stories of people who torment themselves by checking their ex's page constantly to see if he or she has already hooked up with someone else. Even worse are those cases in which one is so jaded as to stalk the other person, post derogatory remarks on the person's wall, and so on. I suppo...

Would you date your friend's ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or refrain from doing so out of respect for said friend? I'm here to advise you that doing the former would be ill-advised on many levels. Dating your buddy's ex not only puts your friendship with him or her in serious jeopardy, but it could put your friendship with your ex at risk as well (assuming you've remained friends following the breakup). You have to remember: You're courting someone who your friend probably loved and envisioned spending the rest of his or her life with at one point. To enter into a relationship with him or her is, in my view, a flagrant no-no: Your friend may see this as stabbing him or her on the back and showing little sympathy for someone who may still be trying to get over the breakup. No matter how bad the breakup, or how resentful we may be thereafter, I think a piece of all our exes always stays with us. We share moments and experiences with our partners that become e...

Most of us have been there at some point or another: You're in a relationship with someone, head over heels in love and convinced you have the makings of a fruitful marriage. Then, one day the two of you have a misunderstanding of some sort or an intense argument that either spells the end of the relationship or serves as the first of many spats to come. In the latter case, the relationship gets weaker and weaker over time until it becomes apparent that it has eroded into nothing. Naturally, we're going to feel unhappy, depressed, even lost for some time after the breakup. Some find it very hard to cope with the reality that the person they thought they might be with for the rest of their life is out of the picture for good. But it doesn't all have to be gloom and doom. What follows are three fantastic tips that will help you get back on your feet. Even if you've never  had to deal with a breakup, you'll want to read these tips should you ever find yourself in t...