It isn't always easy to kiss someone in your life goodbye. When it comes to toxic folks who put our happiness at risk, however, it should be a no brainer.  Naturally, we want to surround ourselves with individuals who make us laugh, help us grow, and stand by us in good times and bad ones.  But it's inevitable that, along the way, we will encounter some rotten eggs -- those who seemingly can't bear the thought of anyone but them being happy.  Jettison people in your life who are corrosive to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Whether it's a friend, partner, relative, or acquaintance, there is no place in your orbit for somebody who's bent on making you miserable. Life is too short for that, and you deserve better. I've have had to sever ties with friends -- or so I thought they were friends -- who ended up turning against me.  Perhaps they were jealous of my good grades or other friends whom they felt threatened by. Whatever the reason, I pulled th...

Picture how painful it must be to see the person you love in the arms of another man or woman -- all because you took them for granted. Even though you claim to love them, you may have recognized a tad late that you just never showed it, at least not nearly as much as you should have. Countless people experience this painful reality each and every day, not knowing what they have until it has walked out the door for good. In order to avoid this fate, it's important that we not just talk the talk but walk the walk as well. It pays to spend occasional moments imagining yourself without them -- envisioning your significant other walking out the door, embracing another man or woman, and basically forgetting you ever existed.  While no relationship is perfect -- much like the people in them -- a failure to invest in it can gradually snowball into bitter arguments and corrosive resentment. Shutting off communication is akin to depriving a plant of the water, sunlight, and nutrients it nee...

Your thoughts, positive or negative, trigger certain emotions.  Sometimes you may not understand why you're experiencing a certain feeling -- be it rage, regret, or optimism -- until you do a little mental gymnastics. Ask yourself this question: What specific thoughts crossed my mind to spark these feelings? Maybe it was thinking about your boss dropping a project on you at the last minute. Perhaps a commercial ran that you remembered first aired five years ago while you were having a terrible fight with your ex-spouse about his drinking habit, which ultimately derailed the marriage. Maybe your friend's putting in a good word at work for the new sales manager position you've been eying elevated your mood. Sometimes the most seemingly inconsequential event can stir up a range of emotions. I, for example, often find myself feeling a bit glum on cloudy days. Yet, you can probably relate to feeling rather ecstatic at the thought of Friday being just a few hours away.  Whether i...

When it's all said and done, we will only regret the chances we didn't take. Worse than regretting the things we have done is regretting not having done something. Imagine spending your whole life wondering whether you could have achieved a particular goal. That "what if" feeling can certainly come back to haunt us every now and then. We may comfort ourselves by saying things like "it wasn't meant to be," but deep down, we just never know. Whether it's asking out the girl you've been in love with since the 3rd grade, jumping out of an airplane, or starting your own business, chances are it's a debilitating fear of failure that is keeping you from striving toward your goal. When you doubt yourself and imagine the worst, you've essentially given up before you've begun. And the only surefire way to fail is to give up. If you try and fall short, you haven't failed -- you've merely learned a lesson. We must aim to...

How many times have you allowed someone's off-color remarks affect your mood? Maybe it's a tasteless remark they made about your weight, or an insensitive comment regarding your job or wardrobe. Maybe they didn't mean for their remark to come across as rude or insensitive. Or, perhaps this individual has a habit of not saying things in a tactful manner. Whatever the circumstance, it's important not to let people get under your skin. You never really know what's going on in people's heads. They may very well be the type who tries to compensate for their own insecurities by pointing out others perceived shortcomings. Whether you're dealing with an obnoxious coworker or an acquaintance who has no filter, you can't let what they said eat away at you. Let it go! If you're not careful, you may find yourself dwelling on it for hours, inducing feelings of bitterness and tempting you to retort with a scathing remark of your own that you might ...

Never stoop to the level of people who are mean and unkind. Instead, be the better person. Exhibit the kind of behavior they ought to emulate. Be a role model. Never give these people the satisfaction of behaving just like them. Don't lash out and seek out revenge, which is precisely the reaction they're trying to elicit in you. Remember, misery loves company, so they'll strike at nothing to have their bad mood/attitude rub off on you. Keep smiling. Keep enjoying your life. Show them that their rotten ways will never rain on your parade. Hopefully, they'll soon come to their senses and realize how childish they're being. And do not blame yourself for others' behavior. It's their problem, not yours. Chances are, they are battling deep-seated feelings of insecurity and trying to take it out on others. When someone's self-esteem is in the gutter, it can drive them to do and say things they later come to regret. Try to remain calm and stron...

People often ask me what they should do if they feel someone in their life -- whether their partner, close friend, or relative -- has been taking them for granted. They expect me to advise them to confront or yell at the individual. But I recommend they take a markedly different course of action -- one that leaves them visibly shocked. I advise them to thank the person, and move on. You may be asking why in the world you would thank them for anything. After all, all they've done is take advantage of the person. Well, you would thank them for one very simple reason. They've demonstrated through their actions that they're simply not worth your time, and you're simply saying thanks for helping you arrive at that conclusion. You're saying thanks for helping you realize that you deserve better -- and never again will you allow anyone to exploit your generous nature. You're saying thanks because, going forward, you're going to strive to be more judic...

Life is too short to live on autopilot all the time . While some routine is good, too much of it can make us feel as though our lives are stuck in a holding pattern. The axiom "variety is the spice of life" isn't just some tired cliché. The more you continue to do things in exactly the same manner, the less you grow. Rather than being focused on the here and now -- and what the future will bring -- you're stuck in your old tried-and-true ways. In the long run, this will only breed discontentment and regret. Even little changes can make a considerable difference: Taking a slightly different route to and from work Trying out different restaurants  Checking out new events in town Going to the gym in the morning some days and in the evening on others Broadening your horizons by exploring new cities/countries Changing your look every so often (e.g., different haircut or wardrobe) Eating lunch at different times on different days Considering new job opportun...

One of my favorite movie quotes comes from "Under Siege 2," a rather obscure 1995 action thriller starring Steven Seagal. During an exchange between the two main villains, one assures the other that our hero (Seagal) disappeared and is presumably dead. Then the other curtly asks, "Did you see the body?" before delivering a powerful line I've never forgotten since watching the movie as a kid: "Assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups." We've all been there. We (or someone we know) make a choice without doing our due diligence -- perhaps out of sheer laziness or carelessness -- and later say, "I just assumed so and so." Later, we feel a sense of regret and wish we had done our research. For example, my wife often assumes that just because she sees a product being advertised on the website of a given retailer -- say, Macy's -- they're bound to have that very item available at our local store. Such a faulty assumption resu...

Don't ever regret a relationship that has ended but at one point made you smile. Whether it's your boyfriend of three years with whom you didn't see a future or an old friend who stopped putting effort into seeing you, they made you feel happy along the way, so you shouldn't lament having them in your life. What's more, you likely learned a thing or two from that individual. Maybe it was how to swim, how to cook, or the best way to approach your boss about asking for a raise. Relationships sometimes end miserably, and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to see or hear from the person again. Still, you shouldn't regret the existence of that relationship, for it helped mold you into who you are today. Perhaps it made you realize the kinds of friends or partner you really yearn for in your life. Sometimes we go through a bad experience with one person, learn from our mistakes, and have a much better experience the next time around. That's pre...

While certain circumstances in life are beyond our control -- death and taxes among them -- there are three things over which we can maintain control: (1) Attitude: We can see the glass as half empty or half full. Whether we view a situation negatively or positively is our choice. (2) Our words: The words that come out of our mouths, as well as those we put down on paper, ought to be chosen carefully, as they're not always easily forgotten. (3) Our actions: Life is less about what happens to us than what we do with what happens to us. Our lives are a direct reflection of the decisions we make. However, this is easier said than done. Oftentimes, we're blindsided by unforeseen circumstances that cause our emotions to supersede rationality, resulting in our later regretting some of the things we say or do. For example, you might be having an awful day after being passed for a promotion or getting fired. Upon getting home, you snap at your spouse when he complains for t...

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I wanted to share with you an inspiring quote from William Arthur Ward: "Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them." Whether a fantastic new job opportunity presents itself, a house you've been eying for some time finally becomes available on the market, or you serendipitously meet someone who seems to embody everything you want in a partner, when opportunity comes knocking, you must answer the door! It probably sounds cliché by now, but some opportunities don't come twice in a lifetime. If a great one comes up, don't rest on your laurels -- seize it before someone else does! Most people would agree that it's better to regret doing something than not doing something, so long as your gut doesn't tell you otherwise. At least when you do something that turns out unfavorably, you learn from it so that next time you can make a more sound decision. Experience steels us for future challenges. ...

Want to get to know people better?  Try to have one-to-one conversations with them. I've found that people tend to be more open and genuine in one-to-one conversations than they are when other people are around. Add more people to the equation and people begin putting on a facade just to fit in and make a good impression, particularly if several people in the conversation know each other. That's not to say it can't happen in a one-to-one conversation -- especially when both individuals met only recently -- but the chances of that happening are slimmer. When it's just you and another person, you're more vulnerable. Efforts be silly in order to elicit laughs may blow up in your face, and there's no one else around to back you up in case you say something you may regret. In addition, more participants bring more noise into the conversation. Suddenly you have people talking and shouting over another, not to mention going off on tangents. This makes it mu...

As I've said countless times, getting someone to change is often a futile effort. It's very difficult to change people's personality, beliefs or attitudes. Not only are we naturally resistant to change, but being prodded into changing usually has the unintended effect of making people double down on the very behavior you're hoping to change. If you want to stand any chance of changing someone, however, it can only be done in two ways: (1) opening one's heart and/or (2) opening one's mind. In other words, you're more likely to get someone to change when you can appeal to their thoughts or their emotions. It's for this reason that advertising can be so effective, especially ads of a negative nature. They not only lead us to rethink our positions, but they stir powerful emotions in us -- from sadness to regret. Whether you want someone to become more respectful or less selfish, it usually starts with a heart-to-heart. Unfortunately, sometimes th...

As cliché as it may sound, I have found this maxim to be true: "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Granted, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes that ultimately serve as valuable learning experiences. What's more, some of us plan and still end up with less-than-desirable outcomes. But far too many of my friends have wound up in difficult situations -- from grappling with poor career choices to navigating tumultuous relationships -- that could have been avoided had they only planned ahead. Here are a couple of reasons why we might fail to plan our decisions carefully: We're impulsive : We act in the moment without carefully considering the consequences beforehand. We're lazy : There's a reason why psychologists have dubbed human beings "cognitive misers." Naturally, we try to expend as few mental resources as possible. We're emotional: Whether we're happy or angry, our emotions often get in the way of reason, leading us...

Everyone assumes that women take breakups a lot harder than men do. Images of women breaking out the tissue box and pigging out on ice cream come to mind. Meanwhile, we picture men going about their regular business, going out for drinks with the guys or puttering on the golf course. Research, however, tells a whole different story. Findings reveal that men are more adversely affected by breakups than women are. In fact, following breakups, men are more likely to suffer from negative health outcomes, including smoking and drinking problems. Why is this so? Women, as it turns out, generally have a much wider social network on which to lean on following a breakup, thus putting them in a better position to reach out to others for support. What's more, the stereotype about men being more prone to keeping their feelings bottled up generslly holds true. It's harder for men to cope because in situations that call for emotional support from other people, they normally loo...