At some point, all of us have had a brush with someone intent on making our lives miserable. Perhaps it was a toxic boss, a jaded ex, a shady friend, or even someone within your own family who proved untrustworthy. But guess what? You're still alive. You survived. You emerged with a keener awareness not only of others' motives, but of the immense strength that lies within you. In an ideal world, we would get along with anyone and everyone. People would appreciate us for who we are, whether we own a BMW or a Versa, a small loft or a capacious mansion. They would prize us just the same whether we are meek or outspoken, bookish or adventurous. Alas, behind some nook or cranny is some bitter soul who wishes for their misery to rub off on someone in his or her orbit. No matter how hard we may try to please everyone -- how nice and accommodating we are to others -- someone will always take issue with us. And oftentimes we haven't done a single thing wrong to a...

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Similarly, happiness means different things to different people. Joe's ideas of happiness may be earning 200K a year because it provides him the means to afford his big mansion and fancy cars -- even if it comes at the expense of having to work long 60 hour weeks. Ana's version of happiness may be far more modest. Give her a small apartment filled with books and pets and she's in bliss. Sam, for his part, might find happiness in moving to a different city every other year, while Betty might take delight in being a stay-at-home mom. Different strokes for different folks. Judging others for their likes and lifestyles is no less inappropriate than passing judgment on, say, their physical appearance. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yes, but that doesn't grant them the latitude to criticize others' choices just because they don't align with theirs. I may aspire to become a manager, but you mi...

Never allow anyone to invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, those feelings are real to you and ought to be respected. No one else can know exactly how you feel because no other person has been in your very shoes! No one else lives in your body. No one else sees life through your eyes. No one has the same interests, fears, quirks, and goals. No one shares your personality. No one has lived through the same experiences you have. That's why no one has the power to dictate or judge what you feel. Your feelings matter; never should they be dismissed or mocked. You deserve to be heard because your feelings are inherently valid. Don't allow anyone to make you believe otherwise! People are entitled to their own opinions, but not to their own facts. Though they may offer well-intentioned advice, they don't get to decide whether your feelings are justified in a given situation -- no matter how much life experience/wisdom they may claim to have. No tw...

Do you embrace your uniqueness? Do you like the fact that you have quirks, talents, and convictions that set you apart from your peers? Do you take pride in the fact that there can never be another you ? If so, the last thing you should allow is for other people to change you. I mean, really...who are they to dictate how you should think and act? Are you not a grown adult capable of making your own decisions? As I've stressed in several other posts, people will try to goad you into changing for a variety of reasons: There's something about you that's a little different, and that makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure. They subscribe to the herd mentality, believing everyone in their immediate circle should share exactly the same beliefs, habits, goals, etc. They secretly envy you: Rather than celebrate your good qualities, they'd rather see you lose them; instead of cheering your successes, they take delight in your failures.  Indeed, certain people we...

While certain circumstances in life are beyond our control -- death and taxes among them -- there are three things over which we can maintain control: (1) Attitude: We can see the glass as half empty or half full. Whether we view a situation negatively or positively is our choice. (2) Our words: The words that come out of our mouths, as well as those we put down on paper, ought to be chosen carefully, as they're not always easily forgotten. (3) Our actions: Life is less about what happens to us than what we do with what happens to us. Our lives are a direct reflection of the decisions we make. However, this is easier said than done. Oftentimes, we're blindsided by unforeseen circumstances that cause our emotions to supersede rationality, resulting in our later regretting some of the things we say or do. For example, you might be having an awful day after being passed for a promotion or getting fired. Upon getting home, you snap at your spouse when he complains for t...

I've talked to some of my readers on this blog about a situation involving my closest friend. Long story short, he did something that really ticked me off -- mind you, this is the second time he's done it -- and now I intend to inflict what I consider to be the worst kind of punishment: indifference. The reason why I think indifference is the cruelest type of punishment is because it basically communicates that you couldn't care less about the person anymore. What he or she does or says no longer matters to you -- you are perfectly fine shutting the individual out of your life for good. This may not be the case at all;  you might still care deeply about the person. But at the end of the day, life is really more about what you perceive to be true than what may in fact be true. Many people imagine that getting riled up and lashing out at the person is the worst thing you can do, but I don't find this to be the case. Why? Because when you're angry, you're demon...