If people take issue with who you are as a person despite the fact that you haven't done anything (that you know of) to deserve such behavior, it says more about them than you. The worst cases are those where the person has a beef with you for some reason, but rather than come out and say it, they ignore or bad-mouth you behind your back. It's these folks whom I characterize as cowardly and dishonest. If they take exception to your liberal views, religious beliefs, choice of career, or range of hobbies, why not be truthful about it? Perhaps the two of you were once close college buddies and over time, you've diverged in your tastes and lifestyle. As a result, your calls and texts seem to go unanswered now when that was never the case before. Or maybe you only met recently at work or at the gym, but something about you rubs them the wrong way -- prompting the individual to avoid you or become visibly distant.  It isn't a stretch to say that sometimes we mischaracterize p...

In the absence of information about you, people resort to passing judgment. To fill in the gaps, they make unfounded assumptions about your personality and character. Here are a couple of examples: Because you're quiet, you must be weird, antisocial, or stuck-up. Because you don't want to have kids, you must be selfish.  Because you don't drink, you must be boring, religious, or uber conservative.  Because you don't eat meat, you must be vegan. Because you relish simplicity and have no interest in flashy gadgets, jewelry, or cars, you must not have a lot of money. Anything that goes against the grain of society tends to be judged harshly. People frown upon those who do or say things that run counter to the so-called herd mentality.  The fact is that you have no obligation whatsoever to justify your views, beliefs, or attitudes to anyone. While they have a right to think as they wish about you, you're entitled to live life as you wish without ...

Just last Friday, my boss and I sat down for my annual review. She had great things to say, including the fact that she has seen me "grow immensely" in the last year or two. Mind you, I've been with the company for close to five years. It isn't as if she went by hard data or any accomplishment lists to arrive at such a conclusion, for I provided none. I don't work any harder than I did a couple of years ago. So why is she so certain that I've demonstrated growth on the job? I think perception  -- the state of becoming aware of something through the senses -- is at play here. What is perceived as real can be more powerful than reality itself . The lenses through which we each see the world are dissimilar. I may perceive you to be a shy, rude, or arrogant person, but perhaps your neighbor views you as warm and happy-go-lucky. You may be phoning it at your job or in your relationship, but as long as your boss or partner "thinks" you're put...