'Tis the season to be jolly... except if it is 2020, of course. Thanks to the global pandemic, we have all had to navigate through an unprecedented year.  Layoffs/reduced hours at work, business closures, getting used to wearing masks, keeping our distance even from loved ones, lockdowns, curfews, schools going virtual, a bitter presidential campaign, and the list goes on. But many introverts would admit they have at least one thing to celebrate: Finally having a valid excuse not to attend large holiday gatherings. The Christmas party at the office. The noisy family get-together consisting mostly of distant relatives you see only once a year. It isn't so much that introverts hate holiday events; it's that they find the shindigs to drag on a bit too long -- not to mention they walk away feeling energy depleted. You see, heavy social interaction wears an introvert out. If they can't make for the exits early, they stake out the nearest quiet spot where they can refuel -- b...

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put...

Living in your head is generally frowned upon in this extrovert-loving society. Introspection simply isn't prized in a world where so many people are jockeying to have their voices heard. In fact, pensiveness is often mistaken for snobbishness or social anxiety. And those who aren't as loud and assertive don't earn as much respect and perks as their more boisterous peers. You'll notice that most job listings emphasize teamwork and list excellent oral communication skills as one of the requirements. You'd be hard-pressed to find an ad specifically looking for a deep thinker. Unfortunately, quiet introverts continue to be put into the same bucket as serial killers and others who perpetrate horrible crimes. What many fail to understand is this: Many people -- myself included -- find living in their heads a refreshing change from the daily grind. Introspective types would agree that reading books -- whether of the fiction or non-fiction variety -- transpor...

The notion that opposites attract is a persistent myth that many people continue to swear by to this day. Opposites do attract to a certain degree, but only in the early stages of dating . And, to be honest, I don't know if I would even call it "attraction." A more appropriate word might be "intrigue." Meeting someone who seems like our complete opposite seems like a breath of fresh air at first. After all, we're used to having friends and dating people who share our interests, so this can feel like a pleasant change. However, as time wears on, the differences begin to really manifest themselves, and what once seemed like an interesting quality in the other person begins to get on our nerves. Here are a couple of examples: A liberal person dating a conservative one A neat freak dating a slob An avid football fan dating someone who loathes sports A well-heeled professional dating a person who's constantly broke and unemployed An introvert...

As I've pointed out in other posts, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. When people wish to be alone, they usually do so deliberately, whereas being lonely tends to be an undesirable consequence of a particular event, like breaking up with your boyfriend, moving to a new city, etc. People can desire to be alone for a host of reasons: To clear their heads To gather their thoughts To recharge after a long day at work To read or pursue other solitary tasks in a quiet environment They're not in the mood to be around people, especially after someone has done something to disappoint them And many more... Unfortunately, sometimes society makes people who crave alone time out to be weirdos. They're constantly given labels like "antisocial" and "stuck-up." Oftentimes, these descriptors have no basis in reality. Many people -- especially the highly extroverted, who thrive on social interaction -- fail to understand tha...

As much as I would love for Donald Trump to change his obstreperous demeanor, I'd never expect him to. He probably likes the way he is and wouldn't change his personality for anyone. For that, he should be commended, even though he'll have no choice but to bring it down a few notches if he wishes to appear even remotely presidential. Just a few moments ago, I heard my boss and co-worker conversing about the times they did drugs when they were younger and sharing videos of people making fools of themselves. I'd love to tell them to change, but who am I to do so? They must like being that way. But just as I'm respectful toward others, I expect the same treatment in return. I can't stand it when people question why I'm a certain way. "Why are you so quiet?" "Why are you so calm?" "Why are you so focused?" The implication is that something should be changed or fixed. They're making "loud and talkative" out to be ...

I've had several people -- within the last month, actually -- tell me that being somewhere in utter silence makes them uneasy. It doesn't matter whether they're lying in bed, sitting in their car, or studying in the library. Some people can't stand complete silence, and it isn't long before they feel compelled to reach for their phone, a TV remote, or their cell phone to break the quietness. Frankly, this has me rather baffled to say the least. After being assaulted by the chatter of nosy co-workers all day at work, driving home with the radio off offers a welcome reprieve, as does holing up in a quiet room at home. Here are a few reasons people give for their aversion to overly quiet environments: They "hate to hear themselves think" When it's too quiet, they feel lonely They get bored They're just not used to that much silence Personally, being in a quiet setting helps me regain my energy. Too much noise and commotion stress me out, ...

At How to Understand People, few topics are explored as extensively as that of personality. I find it to be such a compelling subject that I base at least a couple of posts on it each month. In case you missed some of my earlier posts on personality, here's a quick rundown of the chief differences between introverts and extroverts. In general, introverts: Direct their energy inward Become overwhelmed by too much stimuli (noises, colors, etc.) Become easily drained by heavy social interaction Prefer small groups of people to large ones Routinely need to recharge their batteries by being alone in a quiet setting Enjoy reading, writing, and other solitary activities Get put off by small talk Like delving deeply into subjects of interest (history, politics, science, etc.) Think carefully before they speak Don't waste words Are not confrontational Are likely to pursue careers in the arts or that require working behind the scenes In general, extroverts: Ar...

Are you different from most of your friends or family members in some way? Is there anything about you that goes against societal norms or expectations? I am happy to say that some of my interests and personality traits go against the grain, so to speak. As a result, I sometimes find myself at odds with people when it comes to planning a night out or deciding whether to partake in certain activities. Why would I be proud of this? Because they make me who I am, and I am not ashamed of it. There can only be one you in this world, and there's no reason to apologize for having views or interests that don't align with those held by people around you. Here are some ways in which I am a little different: I am an introvert: While most people find a night of drinking and chatter with countless people to be fun, I'm happy staying home with a good book and blogging away. Too much social interaction depletes my energy reserves; I need time alone in a quiet environment to r...