Do you typically ruminate about the most unfortunate scenario even though it could very well go the opposite way? Rather than picturing and stressing over the worst possible outcome, why not imagine things turning out favorably for you? Sure, it doesn't mean they will. And it doesn't mean we should be oblivious to the consequences of our actions or the potential downsides in any given situation. But pessimism will only work against you, as those negative thoughts that invade the mind will try to convince you that you won't succeed -- that you won't overcome the hurdles life puts on your path. Never give in to negative thinking! You might harp on the negative because deep down you sense that if you're too optimistic, you might very well get blindsided -- and let down -- by setbacks. But here's the thing: You can be pragmatic -- mindful of the pros and cons, the pluses and the minuses -- without allowing negativity to overtake you. In other words, ...

There are no regrets in life -- only lessons learned. Regretting that which is now in the past -- and thus cannot be changed -- serves absolutely no purpose but to make us feel dejected. Learn from your mistakes so that you're not doomed to repeat them. In that way, you're actually channeling all that negativity into something positive and constructive. Regrets, then, can help facilitate growth so long as we have the right mindset. Let's suppose you cheated on a wonderful man or woman -- a terrible mistake you refuse to forgive yourself for. If you already apologized to your ex and have pledged to remain faithful to future partners, what more can you really do? Move on, and if you've learned anything from your misstep, you'll know not to jeopardize a relationship ever again. The same reasoning applies to missed job opportunities, friendships gone awry, or any other situations that would have turned out much more favorably had you behaved differently. ...

Irish novelist James Joyce once said, "Mistakes are portals of discovery." And if you stop and think about it, he was absolutely right. We wouldn't have learned some of our most valuable life lessons had we not messed up in the past. Those missteps actually enabled us to grow and acquire wisdom we can in turn pass on to our kids, friends, and other loved ones. Sure, we might be ashamed of our mistakes and wish we could have a few do-overs. But one important thing to remember is that no one is perfect. We all make them and have to deal with the consequences thereafter. Harping on our mistakes isn't healthy.  At some point, we must recognize -- and accept -- that the past is behind us, and there's nothing we can do to change it. Rather than carry our mistakes around with us, we should place them under our feet and use them as stepping stones to bettering ourselves. Whether we got into a car accident while driving around tipsy, took a wonderful partner ...

Whether it's preparing for a hurricane, building up an emergency savings account, or simply taking extra precautions when walking or driving late at night, you should hope for the best and plan for the worst. There's absolutely no harm in overpreparing -- being proactive so as to help prevent any unfavorable consequences in a given situation. As I once heard in a movie, the best defense is a good offense. It's better to be safe than sorry. I understand that if you play it too safe all the time, life can become rather dull and regimented. The key, as I've noted in countless posts, is to strike a healthy balance between fun and prudence. Go where the road takes you, but don't do it with a beer in hand and a dead cell phone. If you've drank, always be sure to have a designated driver. Don't wander the streets at night alone -- take someone with you or let others know where you're going. Indulge yourself every so often at the store, but only if y...

Some people are simply the epitome of hypocrisy . They don't tolerate certain behaviors from their partner -- cheating, wasteful spending, getting drunk -- and yet they carry out those very behaviors themselves in disguise. It's because of this double standard that so many relationships go down the drain. People who have certain expectations of their partner that they themselves can't live up to -- those who don't practice what they preach -- shouldn't commit to anyone in the first place. It demonstrates selfishness, a lack of maturity, and the inability to consider their partner's feelings. The golden rule of relationships is to treat your partner the way you want to be treated. If you don't want your partner to cheat on you, remain faithful. If you don't want your partner running up credit card debt, spend responsibly. If you don't want your partner making a fool of herself after having one too many drinks, drink in moderation yourself. The...

Everyone always focuses on whether the person who was cheated on will forgive the cheater, but should the cheater forgive himself/herself? No matter how consumed with guilt or shame they may be, it's not so much about forgiving themselves, but getting back up and making amends for what they did. For starters, they must acknowledge that what they did was wrong -- no excuses are fair game! Then, the cheater should own up to what he or she did and apologize without expecting their partner to accept the apology, let alone take them back . If the person finds it in their heart to forgive, then more power to them. But that decision is theirs and theirs alone to make, and the cheater should not bombard the partner they wronged if the latter opts never to speak to him or her again. In life, for better or worse, we must deal with the consequences of our actions. Cheating is one of those areas where an "undo" button may not be available to us. Most important, the cheat...

...those that we never make. Think about it. What can come back to haunt you any more than wondering what could have been? Here are a few of examples of things people may not do, but later regret: Not having kids Not wearing protection when having sex Never getting married Not pursuing a degree or finishing school Not aiming for a better job because they're too complacent where they are Not saving money Not being more on top of their health (e.g., not smoking, doing more exercise, etc.) What's the best way to avoid being in this situation? For starters, we should all guard against the impulse to trek through life in a mindless manner. It's when we do things mindlessly that we seem to get in the most trouble. For example, the question of whether or not to have kids is one of the most important ones we face in our lives. That's a decision that should not be taken lightly. Whether one decides not to have kids or have unprotected sex and worry about t...