When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

Human beings have a tendency to stick it out with costly decisions, and it can be attributed directly to the sunk cost fallacy. According to this psychological concept, the more we invest -- whether it be money, time, or emotions -- the less likely we are to abandon our initial choices. There are many examples of the sunk cost fallacy in action. For example, if you've invested $10,000 in a women's studies degree even though you recognize your job prospects following graduation are looking a tad bleak, you're likely to press on. Or, perhaps you've been waiting in the same line at the grocery store for nearly 10 minutes while others around you speed by. You've waited this long, so you refuse to budge. Or maybe you insist on getting through the final two chapters of the mediocre book you're reading, or wrapping up the last season of the show you've been watching for several years. After we commit, we tend to bind ourselves to our own decisions, an...

If merely saying "I love you" to one's partner countless times determined whether a relationship or marriage would last, we'd see far fewer divorces and breakups in our lifetime. Those three words, as we very well know, get tossed around quite a lot.  Unfortunately, the divorce rate is so high in part because people fail to back their declarations of love with concrete actions.  What good is professing to love someone if a person doesn't demonstrate it? Actions lends such words substance.  To give you another example, you can tell people, "I am intent on losing weight," but if you continue to eat fatty foods every night, your words come off as little more than hot air. So why do people think stating they love their partner is enough? Some couples have been together for a long time. Once complacency begins to set in, they may stop trying as hard, assuming their history and the comfort they feel in the relationship alone will carr...

Ah, the notorious dead-end job. You know, the kind that offers little to no potential for advancement. The type where you've mastered all your tasks, are learning nothing new, and feel as though you're stagnating. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in this boat. I, for one, have been on the lookout for better opportunities for some time now, but have yet to reel in something good enough to leave my current dead-end position for, which at least pays well and provides great benefits. It can be a challenge for even some of the most experienced job hunters to pinpoint a dead-end job. Here are some telltale signs that it may be time to start polishing up that resume: 1. There's high turnover. 2. Several people have been in the same positions for years and years. 3. Your job doesn't make good use of your skills. 4. You feel as though opportunities to expand your skill set and grow professionally are few and far between. 5. There's promotion in sight. E...

A while back, I came across a rather amusing quote: "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."  I don't know who the source of the comical quote is, but he or she was spot on. Love should never have to be forced. If one or both people in the relationship are forcing it, that raises a critical question: Why are they even together? Either the chemistry is off, one or both individuals has grown bored, or, worse yet, they've fallen out of love altogether. As I've noted in prior posts, once a couple passes the honeymoon stage, people's true colors emerge and the relationship begins to feel a little more like "work." Quirks about your partner that once seemed cute may begin to get on your nerves. As passion gradually gives way to complacency, partners may cease doing the little things that so endeared them to each other. You know you're with the right person when: You can be yourself around him or her You ...

There are certain times in life where, after much sweat and tears, it only makes sense to walk away from something, whether it be a troubling relationship, dead-end job, or other unfavorable circumstance. Though walking away can often be difficult, life is too short to endure circumstances so trying that it becomes difficult to get out of bed every day and face the world. If you're in an abusive relationship, walk away. No one deserves to suffer that way at the hands of a partner who's lost their way and doesn't show the slightest interest in mending fences. If you're in a relationship where you're being taken advantage of despite being heavily invested in it (emotionally and otherwise), walk away. You deserve better than to remain with a person who blithely takes you for granted. If one of your friendships, whether new or old, no longer adds value to your life, walk away. There's a season for every friendship in our life; once distance and other lifes...