Whether it's that they're having a bad day, are mad at you because you made an innocent mistake, or they're just a difficult person by nature, no one has the right to put you down. If their meltdown is followed by an apology you deem to be sincere, life moves on. But if you find that these outbursts occur quite frequently, or if the person has a knack for pinning the blame on you when something goes wrong, it's important you stand up for yourself.  Otherwise, they'll think they have permission to treat you with disrespect.  Standing up for oneself doesn't mean you have to disparage the individual, firing off expletives, throwing things at them, and essentially stooping to his or level.  You can be firm and civil at the same time. In fact, you would merely be admonishing on their petty behavior: They should watch their language and tone it down, or there will he consequences. Such consequences may include reporting them to human resource...

Don't allow anyone -- not your friends, not your relatives, not your partner, and not your co-workers -- to put you down for mistakes you've made in the past. Many people have a nasty habit of, in the heat of an argument, or as a result of having a bad day, bringing back to light past mistakes that you've apologized for, learned from, and pledged not to repeat. They likely see it as ammunition they carry in their back pocket in the event they really want to make you feel like crap. They tell themselves that you should be appreciative of the fact they forgave you, even though, in their view, you didn't deserve it. It's as if you "owe" them. If they really forgave you, they should not indulge themselves by giving you guilt trips whenever the mood strikes, even if you've done something more recently to ruffle their feathers. Focusing their ire on the matter at hand is one thing; rehashing things you've put behind you is another entirely. I...

We've all been there: Someone who we trust deeply stabs us in the back, and our world comes crashing down in an instant. We may be in denial at first, refusing to accept the fact that someone so near and dear to us could fritter away our trust. Once we come to terms with what has occurred, we may find it difficult to confide in anyone again for a while. Perhaps you discovered that your partner cheated on you. Maybe you caught your coworker spreading rumors about you behind your back. Or, you realized that your friend of 20 years has been stealing money from you. No matter the form of deception, it can be devastating. In the worst cases, such events can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem, leading to depression and other negative health outcomes. So what happens next? As the victim, that's really up to you. You were wronged and can pursue whatever course of action you deem fair. If he or she displays genuine remorse -- including a sincere apology that feels like it...

Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804), the first treasury secretary of the United States and the subject of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, once said: "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." Hamilton sure hit the nail on the head with that one. I understand that not everyone is naturally bold and assertive. Many of us -- particularly the ones who call ourselves introverts -- hate drawing any attention to ourselves. It isn't a matter of changing your personality, for as I've stressed in other posts, you should never change your personality just to appease other people. It's about standing up for yourself when people level criticisms at you that are unfair or blatantly false. It's about defending yourself against insults to your character. It's about not letting someone get away with trying to sully your reputation. But Hamilton's quote goes beyond merely standing up for oneself. Maybe there's a cause you're deeply passionate a...

Nothing gives anyone -- not boyfriend, old buddy, neighbor, your sister -- the right to exploit you for personal gain. If you detect that someone is deliberately attempting to take advantage of you, do not remain tight-lipped -- stand up for yourself! Approach the individual in a tactful manner and ask when he or she would be available to have a conversation in private. Hopefully, doing so will defuse the situation. If you find that the relationship is beyond repair, make it clear that you won't allow him or her to disrespect you. A good person doesn't try step over his or her loved ones just to get ahead. That bespeaks utter selfishness and a lack of a moral compass. Anyone who does this deserves no place in your life unless they can offer a convincing apology, vowing to never betray you again. After all, it's hard to restore trust after one feels they've been stabbed in the back. Again, if you sense that someone might be trying to take advantage of you, ...

Everyone always focuses on whether the person who was cheated on will forgive the cheater, but should the cheater forgive himself/herself? No matter how consumed with guilt or shame they may be, it's not so much about forgiving themselves, but getting back up and making amends for what they did. For starters, they must acknowledge that what they did was wrong -- no excuses are fair game! Then, the cheater should own up to what he or she did and apologize without expecting their partner to accept the apology, let alone take them back . If the person finds it in their heart to forgive, then more power to them. But that decision is theirs and theirs alone to make, and the cheater should not bombard the partner they wronged if the latter opts never to speak to him or her again. In life, for better or worse, we must deal with the consequences of our actions. Cheating is one of those areas where an "undo" button may not be available to us. Most important, the cheat...

Unfortunately, the word "apologize" isn't in everyone's vocabulary. In fact, many people would stop talking to someone altogether before deigning to apologize to them. Why is it so hard for people to apologize? For one, they have huge egos. They can't bring themselves to show any contrition if their lives depended on it -- no matter how serious their actions. Secondly, they might be in denial, refusing to acknowledge they did anything wrong in the first place. Or, they may try to cast blame on external forces -- anything other than themselves -- including the weather, the alarm clock, or their neighbor. Showing remorse enables one to demonstrate a truly humane side of themselves. People may be reluctant to say sorry lest their apology not be accepted. But the fact of the matter is that the mere act of apologizing makes it much more likely you'll be forgiven. Unless you do something so horrible that an apology falls flat, simply saying the...