Skip to main content

What to do when someone betrays us

We've all been there: Someone who we trust deeply stabs us in the back, and our world comes crashing down in an instant. We may be in denial at first, refusing to accept the fact that someone so near and dear to us could fritter away our trust. Once we come to terms with what has occurred, we may find it difficult to confide in anyone again for a while.

Perhaps you discovered that your partner cheated on you. Maybe you caught your coworker spreading rumors about you behind your back. Or, you realized that your friend of 20 years has been stealing money from you.

No matter the form of deception, it can be devastating. In the worst cases, such events can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem, leading to depression and other negative health outcomes.

So what happens next?

As the victim, that's really up to you. You were wronged and can pursue whatever course of action you deem fair.

If he or she displays genuine remorse -- including a sincere apology that feels like it's coming from the heart -- you may be inclined to give them a second chance.

Or, you may feel that their behavior was so egregious that you'd never be amenable to forgiving them, let alone reconciling.

In the case of marital infidelity, you may seek counseling before you decide pull the plug on your marriage altogether.

Those who go through with burying the hatchet should be commended for their kind, forgiving nature. However, they must keep in mind that if it happened once, it can always happen again. And if it does, this quote may hit you like a lightening bolt: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

Those who have been deceived should never blame themselves for what happened. They might criticize themselves for not picking up on warning signs along the way, or even begin to question whether they deserved it.  The only one in the wrong is the person who took the other for granted.

These experiences show us that even the strongest relationships can tear apart because people are selfish, fallible beings. Trust is difficult to build, but easy to destroy.

It happens to the best of us. Some people are simply masters at trickery -- they know how to appeal to our emotions to get what they want. We fall under their spell, not in a million years suspecting that they could be up to no good.

There's no shortage of liars and fakes in the world. We can only try our best to see through their machinations and avoid them like the plague.

At least we can always take comfort in the fact that karma is alive and well: What goes around comes around.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read more

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...
6 comments
Read more

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...
Post a Comment
Read more