The time has come to sever ties with the ones who've done you wrong, with the ones who fail to appreciate all you do for them. Granted, nobody's perfect. We're all guilty of missteps. But if you've done your part to atone for your mistakes and the other person hasn't, it's obvious who places a higher premium on the relationship.  If it's your boss who's toxic and has subjected you to mental and emotional abuse, you need to stop putting off finding a new job. No role -- irrespective of pay, benefits, and other perks -- is worth risking your well-being for!  Those benefits can always be replaced, but as far as your mental wellness, it isn't always automatic (or even guaranteed).  If your partner is abusive in any way, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, you must stop giving them a free pass. Everyone is entitled to respect and dignity.  The longer such behavior carries on, the greater the chance of your mental or emotional state deteriorating...

It goes without saying that toxic people can be corrosive to our mental and emotional satisfaction. The longer they remain in our lives and the more time we spend with them, the higher the risk it poses to our well-being.  Stop for a moment to consider who in your life you'd deem toxic: Is it a boss or co-worker who has a knack for humiliating you at work? Is it a friend who talks smack behind your back?  Or is it even your own partner, whose comments about your physical appearance border on the abusive? Perhaps you might have multiple toxic folks in your personal and professional life. Such relationships can be awfully difficult to navigate, but with the right tools, you can neutralize their power and walk away stronger and more resilient.  The damage toxic people can inflict  Toxic people can undercut our self-esteem and diminish our feelings of self-worth. The more they repeat things like "you're not worth it" to us, the more likely we are to come to believe them....

It isn't always easy to believe in ourselves. We can hit any number of roadblocks in life, often through no fault of our own, whether it's not meeting our dietary goals or landing that book contract as quickly as we like.  But as cliche as it sounds, patience and persistence are integral. If you don't feel deep down that you have what it takes to make it happen, you won't.  When you believe in yourself, everything the naysayers have told you -- that you can't do this, that you can't achieve that -- fades into oblivion.  When you believe in yourself, self-doubt gives way to self-confidence, propelling you to accomplish goals you never thought possible. When you believe in yourself, you stop telling yourself that every one except you is capable. You begin to accept that you're just as equipped -- if not more so -- to succeed.  When you believe in yourself, you cease proffering excuses for why you can't do something. You stop saying "I'll try....

The COVID-19 pandemic created ample time for couples to be around each other. Whether that's turned out to be good or bad depends on the individual couple, of course.  Being stuck at home presented plenty of opportunities for pairs to become closer -- or drift further apart than they already were.  Those working at home during the pandemic may have had to tend to kids attending school virtually or elderly parents. That juggling act may have translated into more stress -- whether physical, emotional, mental, financial, or all of the above -- leaving less time and energy for romance.  Those who may have been considering taking a vacation to disconnect from their daily troubles and reconnect with each other were now forced to hole up, potentially igniting arguments over, say, one partner's tendency to put off family trips for years.  Then there are those couples that used the extra time to strengthen their bonds -- by improving communication, trying out new things t...

It's safe to say many of us have gained a few pounds during quarantine and are aching to lose them as we inch closer to normalcy following the rollout of vaccines.  When the fridge is within close reach, it can be awfully difficult to resist the chips, ice cream, or whatever else we deem Covid comfort food.  But here's the good news: Losing weight is more mental than anything else. If we're in the right frame of mind, we can achieve results -- sometimes far quicker than anticipated.  And here's even better news: You don't have to starve yourself to shed those pesky pounds.  Two keys to success, both of which are easy to recall (as they begin with the same word), are: 1. Exercising moderation when it comes to one's eating habits. 2. Exercising physically.  Though I've done a pretty good job at maintaining my weight the last couple of years, it's been a mission to drop an extra 15 or so pounds I've been carrying around. I thought that as long as I ate ...

There are varied and various ways that toxic individuals may try their best to mentally and emotionally overpower you.  This doesn't mean they all employ every single one of these techniques. But it's important to know what kinds of tools these deceitful folks keep in their arsenal so that you're ready to fight back.   1. They try turning you into them.  Misery loves company, and because toxic folks aren't happy with their own lives, they want that misery to rub off on others. And there's no greater satisfaction for them than to hold a firm grip over your emotions. If they know they've gotten the best of you and ruined your day, they know their ploy worked. 2. They use the carrot-and-stick approach . Toxic people love to combine a promised reward with a threat to take something away from you. For example, your boss tells you that a raise hinges on your working Saturdays and Sundays, and that should you opt not to come in on those days, you'll lose your job. ...

Many of my readers have maintained that a key reason they're afraid to jump into a new relationship is because of the disastrous, toxic one they've only just escaped. Fair enough. And you deserve time to grieve the end of the relationship, for even though your life is sure to improve for the better, getting used to not having him or her in your life (especially if you'd been with them for many years) is an adjustment that doesn't happen overnight.  However, I do take issue with people, once ready to get back in the relationship saddle, turning down great opportunities, because, well, their ex John or Beth was a nightmare and this new potential partner may be just the same. Only by giving people a chance do you give yourself the opportunity to move on.  I understand feeling vulnerable and wanting to erect something of an emotional wall at first to protect your feelings.  But you can't allow the ghost of your ex to haunt you forever.  For all you know, this person wil...

If I asked you which would be easier to tolerate -- hunger or loneliness -- what would you say? Hopefully, none of you have ever suffered through a prolonged lack of food or social intimacy -- both terrible circumstances far too many people are grappling with in this pandemic.  But on the question of which is more corrosive to our mental health, studies suggest they're two sides of the same coin: People who are forced to be isolated crave social interactions similarly to the manner a famished individual longs for food.  After one day of total isolation, the sight of people having fun together activates the same brain region that lights up when someone who hasn't eaten all day sees a picture of a bowl of scrumptious spaghetti. This bolsters the argument that positive social interactions aren't simply good-to-haves, but a basic human need. And acute loneliness, for its part, is an adverse state that drives people to repair what is lacking, much like hunger.  In both cases, ...

We live in a shallow world where one's physical appearance and material possessions can be the deciding factor in whether you get the job or the girl. In my estimation, intelligence -- and that includes deep intellectual curiosity -- isn't assigned enough weight by most people.  The stereotype against "nerds" and "geeks" is one we are well familiar with. We might have been labeled as such in our youth if we always got good grades, or had a bespectacled overachieving friend whose work everyone looked to copy. What I don't understand is this: Why can't being smart for its own sake be an it-thing?  While money can be lost and material stuff can rust, no one can take your intellectual prowess away from you. (Notice I said "no one" and not "nothing." I know there are terrible accidents and health conditions, like Alzheimers, that can rob you of your mental faculties. Some may argue, however, that you can deal self-inflicted wounds by t...

At the time of this writing, confirmed global cases of coronavirus surpassed one million. The world is grappling with an unprecedented pandemic -- the likes of which most of us have never witnessed before in our lifetimes. COVID-19 has claimed close to 53,000 lives throughout the world, and that number is  expected to surge in the next week or two. Nearly 6,000 people have died in the United States alone -- well over 2,000 more casualties than China. Italy still leads with a staggering 14,000 deaths, followed by more than 10,000 reported in Spain. The coronavirus has sent markets reeling and caused businesses big and small -- from bars and restaurants to theaters and hotels -- to shut their doors and lay off or furlough workers. Indeed, the outbreak is taking a heavy mental and financial toll on everyone from medical staff on the front lines to entrepreneurs to stay-at-home moms. A whopping 10 million Americans applied for unemployment benefits in March. Some experts ...

In a strong relationship, each partner deems the other as an enhancement to his or her life. But that's different from expecting the person to complete them, which is indicative of an unhealthy relationship. When one turns to a partner to make them whole, it goes beyond merely calling them their soulmate. They rely heavily on one another to meet each other's every need -- whether physical, financial, or emotional -- potentially leaving both individuals' feeling drained and frustrated. Oftentimes, though, one person is far more dependent on the other, and if they feel their partner isn't there to quell all their worries and fix all their problems, it sends them into a panic. A relationship is a partnership, with both making individual contributions that, at the end of the day, make you one cohesive unit. But to expect your partner to do everything you want, when you want it, is unrealistic -- and unfair. For example, there will be nights where your partne...

My readers often ask me why so many people out there are frenetically searching for love. Perhaps you have a friend, relative, or co-worker who appears preoccupied with finding "the one." My pointed response is that the media -- and that includes social media -- plays an integral role. From dating apps like Tinder and Facebook posts about people professing their love for their partner to stories in the news centering on blissful marriages and a seemingly endless stream of songs about break-ups, society promulgates the following message: Being with someone is a good thing. Being single is not. If you don't have anyone in your life, it just isn't whole. Something is missing, and you'll only be able to be happy and fill the void once you pair up. This, of course, is silly. I have a slew of readers who count themselves among the happily single. They don't feel empty or broken because they don't have a partner. On the contrary: Many are reliev...

When giving someone your all isn't sufficient in the relationship, you're with the wrong person. Whether your efforts fall short in their view because he or she is that hard to please (e.g., she doesn't feel you buy her enough stuff) or he fails to recognize your varied contributions (e.g., chores, emotional support, and so on), being with such an individual can be draining, if not demoralizing. What's frustrating is that the person may never come to appreciate all the time, energy, sweat, and tears we've invested into the relationship. When you arrive at this juncture, one really has to ask whether trying to salvage the relationship is even worth it anymore. Broaching the subject may or may not help. He or she may take offense to your claims and insist that they do value your efforts, even if their actions contradict their words. And even if it does help initially, the person may revert to their old habits once they sense all is fine and dandy again. ...

He promised you he'd always remain loyal to you, but you later discovered he had a girlfriend on the side. She pledged that she'd always be there for you, in good times and bad ones, but when you recently lost your job, she couldn't be bothered to visit or console you. We've all been in situations where people we trusted wholeheartedly wound up letting us down in a big way. Once you realize the individual isn't as great as you thought, you may experience a range of emotions -- from disbelief to anger to utter sadness. Worst of all, you may be tempted into blaming yourself for what happened. You may ask yourself a litany of questions such as: "How could I be so naive?" "Why didn't I see this coming?" "Was it something I did or said?" "How could I have wasted my time and energy in such a heartless person?" Before you know it, you've beaten yourself silly ruminating about the whys and what ifs. Do ...

Has anyone -- whether it be your partner, friend, relative, neighbor, or boss -- done you wrong this year? If so, heed this important end-of-year tip: Let it go . Start 2019 with a clean slate. Don't carry other people's drama and negativity with you into the new year. Let your hopes and dreams crowd out your fears and worries. Sure, we can never rid ourselves of all our concerns, but why not start the new year on a high note? If you can't excise from your life the people bringing you grief, e.g., your toxic boss, make it a New Year's resolution not to get hung up on their every word or move. Refuse to allow these people to sour your mood, lower your self-esteem, and eat away at your mental well-being. If we're not careful, we can become trapped in a vicious circle of questioning people's motives, possibly blaming ourselves in the process: Why did they yell at me over the phone? Why haven't they answered my texts? Why did they seem to ...

The worst type of pain is not inflicted by the people we can't stand (i.e, our "enemies"), but by the people we care about the most. For example, if you haven't been able to stand your boss from day one, the fact that he was a rude jerk today probably doesn't come as a surprise. The same goes for meddling in-laws, the persistent bully at school, or the obnoxious neighbor who's never rubbed you the right way. Yet, when our partner, trusted friend of 20 years, or doting relative does us wrong, it can be devastating. We might feel as though we've been hit by a train moving at breakneck speed.  Imagine finding out that your boyfriend has been cheating on you for years. Or that your closest friend has been spreading rumors about you to others within your circle. Or, picture discovering that your coworker has been taking credit for your ideas at work.  We never see this deception coming when it concerns people in whom we have placed our tru...

Whether you're nervous about a presentation you're slated to make before investors, worried about lab results following a doctor's visit, or freaking out about a blind date you have coming up, does it benefit you in any way to think the very worst? Absolutely not! As soon as a situation presents itself that forces us out of our comfort zone, for many of us a sense of pessimism kicks in immediately. We assume we're going to bomb the presentation. We convince ourselves the lab results will reveal something serious. We anticipate the date will be a total disaster. Seeing the glass as half empty erodes our confidence and can even do a number on our self-esteem. It's normal to feel a little anxiety in such situations, but getting extremely worked up won't help matters at all. Instead, we need to force ourselves to consider alternative -- and decidedly positive -- scenarios. Who says things can't things go smoothly? Chances are you've been in...

Shallow individuals are those who place a great importance on things of a superficial nature rather than on meaningful ones that should carry the most weight. We all know at least one person (I know a few, as a matter of fact) who makes looks a top priority when assessing potential suitors. While looks certainly matter, a "face like Brad Pitt's" or a "body like Jennifer Lopez's" should not top anyone's list of must-haves. At the end of the day, physical chemistry may get the ball rolling, but it's the mental and emotional connection you establish with someone (and, hopefully, a spiritual one) that sustain a loving relationship. Sooner or later, we go gray, get old, and gain weight. We can't expect to look like we did in our 20s and 30s forever, nor expect as much of our partner. Beauty is only skin deep. Qualities like intelligence, kindness, loyalty, integrity, and a great sense of humor are reliable gauges of one's true characte...

What would you say is the worst kind of punishment you can inflict on someone? While many might feel it's delivering physical abuse (e.g., beating the person up), I firmly believe that mental and emotional damage can be far more difficult to rebound from. Such wounds can take far longer to heal. When it comes to indifference, stop for a moment and think about just how painful it must be to realize that someone near and dear to your heart -- whether it's your partner, friend, or a family member -- couldn't care less about you anymore. Such indifference could come in many forms, with unanswered texts or calls chief among them. Perhaps you don't get a call on your birthday from the individual, or even after just having gone through a trying experience (e.g., emergency surgery or a death in the family). It could very well be that we forgot the person's birthday, weren't there when they needed us, or had a huge argument with them, and now they've cut of...

Whether you're on a date or talking to a potential suitor online for the first time, the wrong person for you is the one who compels you to act in unnatural ways just so you can gain their approval. Here are a few examples of ways we may project a phony representation of ourselves: You try to be funnier or more sociable than you really are.  You're dishonest about your past relationships, dreams, goals, and the like. You force yourself to like sushi, Harry Potter movies, or the Yankees just to impress him or her, even though none interest you at all.  In other words, you try to become someone you're not -- all for the sake of making a favorable impression on the other person. But do you honestly want the person you end up with to feel drawn to the person they think you are -- or the person you really are? Why would you go such lengths for an individual who could walk away tomorrow? That's just putting the relationship on shaky ground from the get go....