How often have you come across someone -- whether at school, work, the grocery store, or even on Facebook -- who tries to meddle in your business? Perhaps you've just been laid off or come out of a tumultuous relationship, or maybe you've lost someone dear to you. Some people are hardly satisfied in just knowing why you've seen better days; they press you for more details despite your showing a desire to be left alone. Why are they this way? While some may be driven by a genuine yearning to comfort you, others may simply be nosy. Make no mistake about it: Certain individuals are constantly comparing themselves to others although doing so -- unbeknownst to them, perhaps -- only makes them less happy in the end. Sadly, some of these people take pleasure in other's misfortunes, and still others use it as fodder for gossip. Thus the reason I always advise my readers not to disclose too much information to others. If it falls into the wrong hands, it can open...

Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

Many of us get into relationships and fall into one common trap: losing one's self-identity. Both individuals spend so much time together that they neglect their personal needs and interests -- the ones independent of the relationship. This can only lead to trouble on several fronts. For one, when two people are attached at the hip, especially early on in the relationship, they may eventually settle into routines and grow bored of each other. Both people should continue to cultivate the hobbies they enjoyed before they hooked up. Similarly, they should continue working on goals -- career-related or otherwise -- that they set out to achieve when they were single. Not only does this ensure continual progress in their personal or professional lives, but it means they have something they can share with one another that goes beyond themselves. This, in turn, keeps the relationship fresh. Giving each other space is doubly beneficial: it affords you the opportunity to miss e...

Many people don't know how to tell the difference between love and infatuation. Here's the chief differentiator in a nutshell: When you're infatuated by someone, you perceive them to be perfect for you without even knowing them that well.  When you truly love or are in love with someone, they're perfect in your eyes despite their known imperfections. In other words, mere infatuation is conducive to an "ignorance is bliss" mindset. In the early stages of a relationship, when you're still unaware of a person's flaws, all you have to go on are their looks, words, and gestures, which together form your initial impression of them. You can't be certain everything they've told you about themselves is true, but you're so taken with the person -- especially after being showered with cutesy gifts and/or notes -- that you're willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, you can't really love someone until you know more ...

Many of us feel pressured to be the best at everything we do, whether in our personal or professional lives.  At work, you may feel as though you have to be a jack of all trades and master of them all, from creating complex spreadsheets to possessing the leadership skills to guide your subordinates. In your aerobics or karate class, you might be hard on yourself because you're not progressing as quickly as your peers. And at home, perhaps you're disappointed that you're not as great at cooking or handiwork as you thought. I'm here to tell you one thing: No one is perfect. It takes time to become very good at something, and given the fact that we're so strapped for time, we may never become as good at everything as we'd like. Unfortunately, far too many of us are reluctant to ask for help. We try to figure everything out on our own, only to get frustrated when we're not getting the results we want.  Even experts at their craft had to start som...

I currently work as a copywriter in the travel industry. While I have a stable job in a stable company that has been around since the 70s, I've realized that, after several years in the same position, I have hit something of a wall. I no longer feel challenged in this role; my creativity is being stifled and my skills have flatlined. It'd be easy for me to rest on my laurels and continue showing up merely for a paycheck. But I know I can do better. I'm too young to get complacent. That's why I've begun looking within my company -- and outside of it -- for other opportunities. My ultimate goal is to find a position that's more writing-intensive than the one I'm in now. I've also refused to let a sense of complacency seep into my marriage. Traveling to a new destination once a year has helped keep it fresh and exciting. I also do my best to take my wife to different restaurants, parks, and other venues every once in a while. If I ever feel as t...

We've all had people -- whether they be friends, neighbors, co-workers, or acquaintances -- ask us downright nosy questions that border on inappropriate. Here's a sampling of questions that might make you flinch: How much money do you make? How much money do you have saved up? How much did you pay for your home? At what age did you lose your virginity? Do you and your spouse/partner have a healthy sex life? Do you and your spouse/partner fight a lot? When are you going to have kids? (I addressed this one in a post this morning -- Are parents envious of the childfree? ) What health issues do you have? These are the kinds of questions I'd expect a shrink to ask of me, not Joe in accounting or the old lady who lives two houses down.  The worst offenders are the people who pry into your personal life, yet fail to divulge such details about their own lives.  If you ever run into a person like this, don't be afraid to politely change the subject. Or, j...