Many people feel that if they're unsuccessful at something, they've failed -- not just themselves, but others as well. They take a defeatist attitude, convincing themselves that they're losers. They second-guess their decisions.  They beat themselves up over not trying hard enough.  They tell themselves that if only they had said this or done that, they might have prevailed.  I'm here to tell you this:  You don't lose. You either win, or you learn. For example, maybe you didn't get the job, but you realize you can polish your resume a bit and work on improving your interviewing skills. Perhaps you made a couple of uncouth remarks on your blind date that are likely to blame for the fact you never heard from the person again. This shows you that thinking before you speak might be something to shoot for.  Or, maybe you failed an exam you assumed you could pass by cramming for a few hours the night before, demonstrating how importan...

First off, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you lovebirds who are married or in relationships. Whether you wanted stuffed animals or kisses (of the romantic or chocolate variety), I hope your honey has succeeded at expressing how much you mean to them today, though that should really happen daily. For those of you flying solo this Valentine's Day, there could be many reasons why this is the case. Perhaps you're not interested in a relationship right now. Maybe you just got out of one recently and wish to spend the next few months having fun with friends. If it just so happens that you're a little blue about being single, don't despair. The right person is out there -- you just have to be patient. At the same time, you need to do your part. Get out there and attend social functions where you can meet people. See if there are any dating sites to your liking. Ask friends and family whether they might know any prospects. They say life happens when you're ...

When you can't control what's happening in your life, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what's happening. That's where your power truly lies. As I've stressed in other posts, life is less about what happens to you than what you do with what happens to you. Approach the problem with as much faith and positivity as you can possibly muster. Try to arrive at ways to tackle the problem piecemeal; taking small steps is more effective than doing things on a whim. Breathe slowly and remain patient. Recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day -- it might take some time for things to turn in your favor. Whatever it is you're going through, resist the temptation to blame yourself. There's no use beating yourself up over things you can't control. "Buts" and "could haves" will get you no closer to resolving the issue. Be forward-looking. Work toward achieving the outcome you want. Focus on the future and how great ...