Many people feel that if they're unsuccessful at something, they've failed -- not just themselves, but others as well. They take a defeatist attitude, convincing themselves that they're losers. They second-guess their decisions.  They beat themselves up over not trying hard enough.  They tell themselves that if only they had said this or done that, they might have prevailed.  I'm here to tell you this:  You don't lose. You either win, or you learn. For example, maybe you didn't get the job, but you realize you can polish your resume a bit and work on improving your interviewing skills. Perhaps you made a couple of uncouth remarks on your blind date that are likely to blame for the fact you never heard from the person again. This shows you that thinking before you speak might be something to shoot for.  Or, maybe you failed an exam you assumed you could pass by cramming for a few hours the night before, demonstrating how importan...

It's often been said that people who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. According to new research published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology , though, it appears that being reminded of our failures actually makes us more likely to repeat such behaviors. Per the researchers, remembering our past mistakes will not necessarily help us make better decisions in the present. In fact, thinking about our failures at self-control -- whether it's blowing a diet, racking up more credit card debt than we intended, or cheating on a partner one or more times -- leads us to repeat them. For example, thinking about a time when you blew a diet by eating an entire pizza pie by yourself makes you more likely to blow another one in the same way. Titled "Haunts or Helps From the Past: Understanding the Effect of Recall on Current Self-Control," the study is the first of its kind and was conducted by professors at the University of Pittsburgh and Vanderbilt Universi...