Relationships are diminished when partners get into the habit of making assumptions. People say facetiously that when you assume, you "make an ass out of you and me." Rather than make assumptions, people should: Find the courage to ask questions, even tough ones. Openly express their needs, wants, and feelings. Communicate as clearly as possible so as to avoid drama and bickering.  Resist the urge to pretend to know what the other individual is thinking.  Making assumptions falls into the same category as playing games.  If you don't know how your partner feels on a given issue, just ask. If asking doesn't yield answers, then there are definite communication problems that need addressing.  In a healthy relationship, partners are glad to bounce ideas off one another and work together to arrive at solutions to problems in the relationship.  Without a strong system of communication in place, partners may potentially distrust one another, ...

When you always try to please others, some of them come to expect it and may develop a knack for taking you for granted. Before you know it, one favor becomes two, or three. You're lending people money even though it may cause you some financial distress. You're giving others rides even though you have your own errands to run. We all like helping others because not only does it feel good, but many of those people have been there to get us out of jams as well. But there comes a point where we simply have to learn to say "no." We can't always put others' needs and wants before our own. We have to remember that we're entitled to happiness just as much as our family, friends, and colleagues are. We have our own set of problems and priorities to deal with. It is, after all, our lives. Being a good person means being there for others when they really need you. It doesn't mean being at their beck and call, especially when it concerns trivial matte...

A few days ago, I came across a picture on Facebook that had the following caption: "We buy stuff we don't need -- with money we don't have -- to impress people we don't like." Perhaps you can name a few people in your life -- whether at work or at the gym -- who do precisely that. Maybe that person has been you from time to time. The sad reality is that people often become so hung up on the things they perceive as missing in their lives that they lose sight of everything they already have. In many cases, this results from direct comparisons to people in their circle, thus igniting the urge to "Keep up with the Joneses." As I've said before, there's nothing wrong with indulging yourself every so often. Eat at that fancy restaurant you've been wanting to try. Buy yourself that expensive pair of shoes you say online. You work hard for your money; if you have the means, why not? I take issue, however, with people who have to have the...

You should never be afraid to lose people -- whether close friends or mere acquaintances -- if keeping them in your life means losing yourself in the process. And how might you lose yourself? You can lose your self-identity by (1) changing yourself to appease them (2) doing everything in your power to please them while neglecting your own needs and wants. Sure, in any relationship, a little flexibility -- some give and take, if you will -- is to be expected. Sometimes you may accede to the other's wishes as far as where to go and what to do. Maybe your friend has kids and you don't, which necessitates planning outings around their busy schedule. But a line needs to be drawn somewhere. If you find yourself making concession after concession while the other person refuses to meet you halfway on anything, let's call the relationship what it really is -- one-sided. Unfortunately, some people become a little too complacent, expecting the other person to always bend...

If there's one trait that blemishes a person's character like no other, it would arguably be selfishness . I come across people every day -- at work, in the gym, at the grocery store -- who exude a palpable air of selfishness. You can just tell they put themselves before everyone else; they're constantly looking out for their best interest, even if they have to step on others' toes or rip them apart in the process. I'm sure you've met many a person who falls under this category. Here are a few words that typically describe selfish people: Manipulative Scheming Opportunistic Calculating Insensitive Self-centered Self-absorbed Greedy Contemptuous  Difficult Egotistical Stubborn  Dishonest Selfish people can be quite unpleasant to be around, especially when they can't manipulate you to get their way. They also tend to be quite unreliable, expecting you to be at their beck and call but refusing to be there for you when you need them. ...