Relationships suffer when people do THIS

Relationships are diminished when partners get into the habit of making assumptions.

People say facetiously that when you assume, you "make an ass out of you and me."

Rather than make assumptions, people should:

Find the courage to ask questions, even tough ones.
Openly express their needs, wants, and feelings.
Communicate as clearly as possible so as to avoid drama and bickering.
Resist the urge to pretend to know what the other individual is thinking.

Making assumptions falls into the same category as playing games.

If you don't know how your partner feels on a given issue, just ask. If asking doesn't yield answers, then there are definite communication problems that need addressing.

In a healthy relationship, partners are glad to bounce ideas off one another and work together to arrive at solutions to problems in the relationship.

Without a strong system of communication in place, partners may potentially distrust one another, leading to endless arguments that will do nothing but undermine the relationship.

Partners won't always agree, and spats are sure to arise every now and then.

But no partner likes the other to think for them. Assuming we know what and how the other feels demonstrates that communication is being inhibited, with both people not feeling at ease to put such emotions on the table.

If a relationship is going to last, people cannot assume anything. They should go to the source and pick his or her brain; they should ask them what's in their heart.

Partners should thus serve as emotional outlets for one another. Vent and open up without becoming hostile. That's what being in a relationship is all about.

Once you've cleared the air, the two of you are bound to feel better. The only way to cement trust and intimacy is by remaining communicative. But making assumptions will only work against you in the long run.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog