Sometimes it isn't that someone has changed, but that now you see them for who they really are. It can be disappointing to realize that someone whom you held in high esteem -- whether an old friend or relatively new girlfriend -- isn't as you imagined. Maybe you've noticed a pattern of lies, throwing cold water on the rosy impression you'd built of them in your mind. Perhaps they'd hidden the fact that they have a massive heap of debt, a never-before-mentioned ex who continues reaching out to them, or aspirations of moving to Europe in a year. Do some people change for the worst over time? In some instances, yes. It's possible they could grow complacent, envious, or flat-out bitter in the relationship, and things like alcohol and stress at work may be culprits -- though they're certainly not valid reasons for bad behavior. But in other cases, they manage to put up a front -- rather effectively, I might add -- that may persist for years. The p...

According to research conducted at Georgetown University, social media tends to leave people lonelier and more depressed. You're probably thinking it all sounds, well, counterintuitive. After all, we all enjoy receiving likes and compliments on sites like Facebook, so it would seem like social media should improve one's mood and bolster self-esteem. Likes and comments do in fact promote small rushes of dopamine. But the study revealed that these tiny boosts don't come anywhere close to compensating for the large loss experienced by no longer spending real-world time with the person in question. The researchers note that smartphones have a way of cultivating behavioral addictions. People may not necessarily wish to spend so much time online, but between flashy games, humorous memes, and content posted by our buddies, we become inextricably sucked in -- often resulting in physical, mental, and spiritual exhaustion. Those who embrace what researchers have dubbe...

In the last couple of months, a few of my readers have reached out to me seeking advice on how to cope with the fact that a relationship that once held great promise has imploded completely. They imagined themselves spending their entire lives with their partner, so coming to terms with the harsh reality that the individual didn't turn out as they expected and is no longer around has been immensely difficult.  They feel anxious, depressed, and lost. Despite the fact that they realize the person isn't right for them (as much as they wish they were), and that going their separate ways is for the best, a part of them clings to the hope that they can patch things up.  This prompts them to reach out to their ex against their better instincts. They keep looking for a sign -- one moment, one conversation -- to convince them that things are on the mend.  Alas, that sign never seems to come.  The more they talk, the more my readers seem to argue with the...

The only person who can fill that empty feeling you have is none other than you . Don't look to your friends or family, for their company works only as a temporary band-aid. Friends come and go. While many of them may genuinely care and worry about you, they'll only go so far to help you out. They have their own problems to tend to. You're the only one you can count on 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to keep your spirits up. Your friends and family can't be there for you each and every time you feel a little blue. Many of us have been led astray into thinking that others make our life complete, but this couldn't be farther from the truth. You complete your life all on your own; others merely enhance it. If you're feeling empty or depressed, take a deep breath and look inward -- not outward for solace. The key to your happiness lies within you. Perhaps you worry too much about others and not enough about yourself. Maybe taking up a new hobby -- w...

The great Albert Einstein once said, "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu believed that "if you are depressed, you are living in the past; if you are anxious, you are living in the future; if you are at peace, you are living in the present." Both men echo Francis Bacon Sr., who said, "Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand -- and melting like a snowflake." The gist of these quotes is that we should live in the moment -- otherwise known as mindfulness.  The dictionary defines mindfulness as "a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations." In other words, it involves being cognizant of your physical and emotional state without being judgmental.  Most peopl...

Society makes singlehood out to be something weird or unfortunate -- something that needs to be remedied. When some people find out a person is in their 40s and 50s and still single, they tend to give the individual awkward looks and assume something must be wrong with them. Well, guess what? Studies show that many people are single and loving it. When asked why they're content being single, many say they relish being free and unshackled. They like not having to depend on or run decisions -- whether financial or otherwise -- by a partner. They love doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no one to get in their way. Want to wake up at noon? No problem. Leave for Hawaii on a whim? No one's stopping you. And when they're asked whether they do get lonely sometimes, they say they're able to avoid such feelings by tapping into their wide network of friends and relatives. Many of these folks have been burned in the past by an ex and refuse to give thei...

Rainy days seem to be one of those things that people either love or hate. I've asked around, and opinion is increasingly polarized on this topic. Those who love rain say it creates a sense of calm and tranquility, is good for the environment (e.g., grass and trees), and serves as a useful cleaning agent for things like cars. They also say it makes for great sleeping or reading weather. Then there are those who loathe rainy days, saying that too much rain makes them depressed and keeps them holed up at home. I think it all depends on one's personality and how often they like to be in doors. If you're an outdoorsy person who enjoys sunbathing on the beach or jogging at the park, rainy weather is sure to be an inconvenience. If you like staying at home reading or watching Netflix, the rain is less likely to bother you. The only time that I can't stand the rain is when I have to be somewhere at a certain time -- say, at work for a meeting, church for a wedding, o...

You're tired. You're stressed out. You feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do everything. Life seems overwhelming, many of your problems seemingly insurmountable. We've all been there. Just relax and take things one day at a time. Problems can't be fixed overnight. Worries don't evaporate in the blink of an eye. Take it one step at a time. A horrible day won't last forever. There's always the promise of a better tomorrow. Things will get better with time. If you feel you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. If you feel it can't get any worse, smile -- it'll only get better moving forward. But you must never lose hope. Once hope is lost, it becomes nearly impossible to break out of the downward spiral so many of us get ourselves in. We become deeply depressed, our self-esteem and vigor diminishing more and more by the day. Don't let that vicious circle of negativity get the best of you. Remin...

Feeling frustrated? Stressed? Gloomy? I've been there myself. Whether we're at work or home, it's normal for negative thoughts to permeate our thinking, leading to depression, anxiety, and other unpleasant health outcomes. Here are 3 proven tricks for turning that frown upside down: 1. Just smile: Research shows that merely smiling for no reason can raise your spirits in a big way. In fact, studies have found that when subjects smiled while talking to someone on the phone, the people on the other end perceived the subjects as being in a good mood. 2. Focus your attention on what makes you happy: Seeking out positive, feel-good stimuli allows you to mentally disconnect from your troubles, even if only for a minute or two. For example, I have always had a soft spot for animals. When I'm down in the dumps at work, nothing changes my attitude for the better like seeing pictures or videos of baby animals, whether they be kittens, puppies, or pandas. In your case, it mi...

Does being upset or melancholy give you the urge to splurge? A new study reveals that more people fall victim to this pattern than they realize or care to admit. People don't realize that trying to drown their sorrows by shelling out thousands of dollars for a designer handbag or luxurious watch can have adverse effects. Ironically, spending lavishly on material goods doesn't overcome feelings of, say, anger or low self esteem -- it compounds them! The elation one feels after buying an item is fleeting. Sooner or later, you'll grow accustomed to the product, get bored by it, or feel the impulse to buy that next-best-thing. You'll never feel totally happy, and this will in turn amplify your despair. Here are two alternatives that I feel will work a lot better: 1. Rely on experiences rather than tangible products -- Studies have shown that experiences ultimately bring us a lot more happiness than tangible items do. Whether it's a trip to the local museum o...

There's more to smiling than simply trying to be nice and polite. Studies show that smiling can actually make you happier, even when you're faking it! In other words, from a young age, we've smiled countless times while in the presence of others or when experiencing something, be it a first kiss or heartfelt moment in a movie. Unbeknownst to us, that very smile was putting us in a better mood, making us even more likely to enjoy that special kiss or captivating movie scene. Now, does this mean that smiling around your obnoxious boss or meddling in-laws can make you like them more? That's probably a stretch. I think smiling can best be put to use in certain situations. For example, when you're nervous about something -- say, a presentation you have to make before a crowd of 100 people -- smiling can likely calm your nerves and put you in a more positive frame of mind: Instead of thinking "I'm going to do terribly," you may feel you can actually wow ...