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Sometimes it's not that people change, but this...

Sometimes it isn't that someone has changed, but that now you see them for who they really are.

It can be disappointing to realize that someone whom you held in high esteem -- whether an old friend or relatively new girlfriend -- isn't as you imagined.

Maybe you've noticed a pattern of lies, throwing cold water on the rosy impression you'd built of them in your mind.

Perhaps they'd hidden the fact that they have a massive heap of debt, a never-before-mentioned ex who continues reaching out to them, or aspirations of moving to Europe in a year.

Do some people change for the worst over time?

In some instances, yes. It's possible they could grow complacent, envious, or flat-out bitter in the relationship, and things like alcohol and stress at work may be culprits -- though they're certainly not valid reasons for bad behavior.

But in other cases, they manage to put up a front -- rather effectively, I might add -- that may persist for years.

The person you thought was one of your closest friends may very well have been talking behind your back since you met.

Or, the significant other you believed was completely loyal to you can potentially be getting their rocks off with other men.

The worst thing you can do upon discovering their deceit is blame yourself for not being onto them sooner.

You may feel as though you wasted your time and energy on this person, but there's really nothing you can do.

Harping on the past will only produce a vicious cycle of bitterness and negativity, making you anxious and depressed.

It's not always easy to differentiate the manipulators from genuine folks who would never stoop to such lows.

But the fact of the matter is that we can't control the actions of others; we can only control how we respond to their betrayal.

And at that point, you have every right to terminate the relationship, making room and time for people who truly value you.

The vagaries of human beings -- much like the vagaries of life in a broader context -- fall outside of our control.

All we can do is learn from and leverage the experience into future relationships so that, hopefully, we'll be quicker to notice the warning signs when someone tries to pull that stunt on us again.
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