Has anyone ever told you you're the only one for them -- that they vow to be faithful to you for the rest of your lives -- only to turn around and cheat on you? Few things could be as devastating.  Imagine that: Someone who you envisioned spending the rest of your life with shattering your trust so egregiously. The fact of the matter is that they were never being sincere about how they felt. Because when someone truly loves you, they wouldn't dare jeopardize the bond you share -- let alone by cheating. And none of these count as justifiable: Drinking too much Being stressed at work Being seduced  Feeling unhappy in the relationship  You don't go around canoodling with other men or women when something is awry in the relationship or, more generally, in your life. You make your partner aware of it so they can help you. You communicate. You discuss your options.  If you see the relationship as no longer bringing you fulfillment, you either agree to seek counseling with ...

In my prior post, I noted how knowledge is the only thing that can't be taken away from you. I'll now qualify that statement by adding that your uniqueness -- the essence of your truest self -- cannot be pilfered from you either, unless you allow it to be. There will always be someone who envies or feels threatened by you. To overcome their insecurities, they might try to steer you down a different path -- as in, make you more like them and less like yourself. But never give in! No matter what sets you apart -- your aversion to drinking, your bookworm tendencies, your preference for the single life, your decision to rent and move every two years as opposed to buying property and putting down roots -- your life is your own, and you should strive to do whatever makes you happy. (So long, of course, as you're not hurting anybody in the process, even yourself.) If being yourself doesn't make you the coolest guy or gal in the room, so be it. It's better to ...

A study published just this year reveals many of the motives people give for cheating on their partner. And though they may claim that they were justified in their decision to do so, nothing they can see can give them a free pass because cheating is wrong in every sense of the word. 1. Falling out of love: Over three quarters (77%) of participants indicated that a lack of love for their partner and/or greater love for someone else prompted them to stray. 2. Seeking variety: Nearly 75% of respondents cited boredom in their relationship as a factor that drove them to cheat. More men tied variety-seeking to their infidelity than did women. 3. Feeling neglected: Participants (70%) revealed that their partner's lack of attention ultimately led to their wandering eye. This reason was offered by more women than men. 4.  Situational factors: Roughly 70% of participants said their infidelity wasn't necessary premeditated and/or carried out due to discontent in the relationsh...

If your gut tells you that you shouldn't do something, it's always best to listen to it. Unfortunately, many people engage in a slew of behaviors despite being conscious of the fact that they can lead to serious, often-damaging consequences. Some of these reckless acts include: Cheating on their partner Sleeping with someone you don't want to be intimate with  Stealing from others  Drinking more than they should  Taking illegal drugs  Becoming physically aggressive with others Let's delve into cheating for a moment.  There is absolutely no excuse in the world that could justify such an abhorrent betrayal of a partner's trust.  And if your partner cheats on you first, it doesn't give you license to go out and do the same. It's better to be the better person and walk away before becoming involved with someone else.  Payback doesn't solve anything. If anything, it heightens feelings of bitterness and animosity. What gets m...

Wouldn't you agree that it's better to be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie ? It's no surprise people say that our closest friends give it to us straight -- they're the ones who don't sugarcoat anything, even if we may take it the wrong way at first. However, some people mistakenly assume that they're doing us a favor by not being completely open. They reason that it's worth it if it'll spare you those hurt feelings. What they don't consider, however, is how painful it can be to discover later on that the person wasn't being entirely honest. While it may seem like the person is acting in the other's best interest, they're really only thinking of themselves. Perhaps they fear that if the truth comes out, the relationship might change, or even be in jeopardy. But doesn't the person deserve the truth? Imagine how many marriages or relationships have come to an end as a result of one partner asserting with convictio...

I've met some people whose interests might make you flinch at first blush. One guy I met in college liked collecting bugs. Another had the most extensive collection of coins I'd ever seen. What's more, a woman I currently work with says she enjoys watching videos of people getting their hair cut. However outlandish your interests may seem to the world, you should never apologize for them . They're one of the many things that make you you . You're a composite of various unique behaviors, quirks, thoughts, and interests -- ones you should never change for anyone unless you truly desire to. As long as you truly love the activity in question, aren't being pressured into it by anyone, and aren't doing it merely to conform to societal expectations, you should never feel weird for calling it one of your passions. I myself collect historical memorabilia -- from figures of presidents to books and DVDs to reproductions of historic documents. I've been call...

You've likely seen or at least heard of the show Mad Men, starring Jon Hamm. It wrapped up its seven-year run this past year, but my wife and I are playing catch-up via Netflix. We're now in season 6 of 7. The show is flat-out addictive, which is no surprise given it has won and been nominated for several awards. We concluded our binge watching last night at 2 a.m. So here I am at work, running on three hours of sleep and greatly looking forward to going home so we can catch the next episode! Jon Hamm plays Don Draper, a creative director at an advertising agency on Madison Avenue (hence the name "Mad Men"). The show is set in the 1960s and touches on a wide range of themes associated with that time, from misogyny and adultery to racism. I think they've done a great job of making the viewer feel as if he's been transported to an era defined by such watershed events as the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, which is incorporated into an episo...

If you really think about it, life is truly about resisting temptation. It lurks behind every corner in our present society. It has become far to easy for us to fall into temptation, putting our health and/or relationships at risk. The media, television, advertising, the internet, and technology in general are partly to blame for our being influenced into doing many of these things, but human beings, for their part, are notoriously bad at exercising self-control. Here are a couple of ways people fall are ensnared into temptation: Overeating, or eating too much of those foods they know aren't good for them Drinking in excess Taking illegal drugs Abusing prescription drugs Becoming addicted to pornography Spending money recklessly Gambling without restraint Engaging in extramarital affairs An uncontrollable urge to sleep with hookers Far too many of us continue to do things we know aren't good for us in the long run and get in trouble with friends, family, partner...

I'm in a stage of my life where I am having trouble relating to some of my friends and family. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but at certain times it makes for a little awkwardness. My wife and I got married close to a year ago. We don't have kids, and we don't drink. That last sentence tells the whole story. By neither having kids nor the interest to drink, you can build a clear divide between yourself and many of those closest to you. I've noticed that people who have kids tend to drink. Some of those people admit that drinking helps them deal with the stress that children, married life, and their jobs bring. I've also observed that those things I'm deeply interested in (reading, writing, museum hopping, movies) either don't appeal to these people or they just don't have the time for them. As you've probably noticed from earlier posts, I am still ambivalent as to whether I want to have kids. Even if I decide to have one, I still wo...

Everyone assumes that women take breakups a lot harder than men do. Images of women breaking out the tissue box and pigging out on ice cream come to mind. Meanwhile, we picture men going about their regular business, going out for drinks with the guys or puttering on the golf course. Research, however, tells a whole different story. Findings reveal that men are more adversely affected by breakups than women are. In fact, following breakups, men are more likely to suffer from negative health outcomes, including smoking and drinking problems. Why is this so? Women, as it turns out, generally have a much wider social network on which to lean on following a breakup, thus putting them in a better position to reach out to others for support. What's more, the stereotype about men being more prone to keeping their feelings bottled up generslly holds true. It's harder for men to cope because in situations that call for emotional support from other people, they normally loo...

My wife and I went to a family get together at her parents' house last night, where one of her brothers and two of her sisters-in-law got completely wasted. Her family knows full well that neither my wife nor I drink. It's not as if I've never tried. I've tasted a slew of drinks and have found all of them, with exception to the fruity daiquiri, to be almost intolerable. I simply lack the taste buds for alcohol. As for my wife, she likes only a couple of drinks, but for the most part refrains from drinking as well. As you can expect, this doesn't exactly sit well with them. For years now, they've made every attempt to get us to take a few sips at every gathering. The pressure to drink last night was more palpable than usual, ostensibly in light of the fact that my wife and I are now married and I am "part of the family." I fret at the pressure society puts on people to conform to what everyone else in the group does. When it comes to drinking, I t...