Most people -- male or female, college student or seasoned professional -- would attest to desiring a long-term relationship. Or, if they're already in one, for that relationship to last a long time, if not forever. Research has shown that a surefire predictor of relationship success is getting to know each other before marriage and/or cohabitation is brought into the conversation.  Now, that's not to say that a relationship won't last if the pair marry or move in with each other speedily after meeting. Chances are, many of us know someone who did just that and they're still with their significant other. But this is the exception rather than the rule. It makes complete sense why a couple that chooses not to rush to the alter and/or shack up so quickly has a better chance of seeing their relationship last. For one, they afford themselves time to really get to know each other. That includes gaining a good grasp on one another's: Dreams and aspirations ...

Self-awareness is critical to a happy, balanced life. The dictionary defines it as "conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. Take a deep dive within yourself and explore that which makes you happy, sad, excited, nervous, peaceful. Analyze your words. Assess your motives. Delve into your deepest desires. Only by paying attention to your feelings can you truly get to know yourself -- the things that make you unique, the inherent qualities that set you apart. It's not about criticizing yourself, but rather being cognizant of your patterns of thought and behavior. Just because you acknowledge your faults doesn't mean you dwell on them. But recognizing them enables you to decide which ones you're willing to accept as well as the ones that call for change. Self-awareness doesn't necessarily stop you from making mistakes -- it allows you to learn from them so that you're less apt to repeat them in the future...

In order to ensure a long-lasting relationship, it's imperative that both people let their true selves come out from day one. Imagine your partner falling in love with a phony version of yourself you've been projecting just to impress them, whether it be a filthy rich playboy or bookish intellectual. Now picture yourself being head over heels for someone who's been dishonest about their personality, life goals, and hobbies. This seemingly wonderful person whom you thought you knew so well is more like a stranger. Wouldn't you want them drawn to the most authentic version of you? Otherwise, the other person will be with you for who they think you are, which could be an entirely different person. One's true colors come out sooner or later. Putting on a facade might help you in the short-term (e.g., you appear more confident or spontaneous), but eventually the real you will be thrown into sharp relief, and the other person may not be keen on sticking around -...

Allow me to commence this post by posing a question: Do you judge attractive people to be nicer or smarter than less attractive people? (Now, I know people have different taste, but let's assume, for the purpose of this hypothetical situation at least, that we generally find the same people to be attractive the world over.) Most of you might say, "Of course not. Physical beauty has little to do with traits like kindness and intelligence. Studies show, however, that thanks to human perception, they're more entwined than we think.  People have a tendency to judge beautiful people as sharing a variety of psychological characteristics based solely on their looks. Beautiful people are perceived not only as nicer, but more successful.  One study in 2014 found that viewers judged an attractive person who smiled as happier than a smiling person with an unattractive face.  It's mind-boggling to think that people would assign so man...

People need to stop comparing themselves to others, or happiness will always elude them. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more attractive. Someone will always be younger. Someone will always be more popular. But they will never be you. Society makes being "the best" out to be the Holy Grail, but is uniqueness not more important? We bring a unique combination of qualities, skills, and quirks to the table -- ones that make us who we are. By comparing yourself to other people, you're essentially saying there is a standard against which you wish to compare yourself. This, for many people, leads to a sudden urge to want to be more like others, thereby relinquishing key facets of their individuality. Sure, you might admire smart, health-conscious, or stylish people and wish to surround yourself with those of that ilk so as to learn a few things from them. However, that should never translate into abandoning the very goals, principles, attit...

The right man or woman will love you for your heart and mind, and not just for your body or wallet. Above all else, he or she will value your top character traits, whether that be kindness, faithfulness, loyalty, intelligence, integrity, or a great sense of humor. A good man gives precedence to a woman's feelings, goals, and passions over the size of her breasts and how good she is in the sack. A good woman focuses on ways his qualities complement hers rather than how much money she can wring from him. (And let's not make the dangerous mistake of pigeonholing men and women into traditional gender roles. Some women can be just as superficial as men when it comes to looks, and some men are on a mission to find only sugar mamas.) But we'd be remiss if we didn't concede that physical appearance and financial resources do count to a certain degree. Would most of us want to go on a date with someone who's 300 pounds overweight, broke, and deeply in debt? Pro...

A couple of readers I've corresponded with recently have lamented the fact that someone who means a great deal to them -- whether their partner, child, or friend -- is either giving them the cold shoulder or flat-out treating them like garbage. Both are on bad terms because of a misunderstanding or argument of some sort; still, they've done their part to try and mend fences, but such efforts have proven fruitless. Here's a quote I came across today that is quite apropos: "Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."  Put simply, just because one person fails to recognize the immense value you bring to their life doesn't mean others will make the same costly mistake.  That one person's untoward behavior should not eclipse the high marks you receive from those who do appreciate you.  Many people have a tendency to harp on the negative; they can't bear the thought of someone not liking them.  ...

Do you embrace your uniqueness? Do you like the fact that you have quirks, talents, and convictions that set you apart from your peers? Do you take pride in the fact that there can never be another you ? If so, the last thing you should allow is for other people to change you. I mean, really...who are they to dictate how you should think and act? Are you not a grown adult capable of making your own decisions? As I've stressed in several other posts, people will try to goad you into changing for a variety of reasons: There's something about you that's a little different, and that makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure. They subscribe to the herd mentality, believing everyone in their immediate circle should share exactly the same beliefs, habits, goals, etc. They secretly envy you: Rather than celebrate your good qualities, they'd rather see you lose them; instead of cheering your successes, they take delight in your failures.  Indeed, certain people we...

Which qualities do you possess that you wish other people shared? In my case, it's two in particular: 1. Non-judgmental: While many other people have a knack for criticizing something about everyone else -- whether it's their weight, house, or the clothes they wear -- I've remained largely non-judgmental throughout my life. As a kid, I was often teased about my weight, so I know firsthand what that's like. I also refrain from pressuring people into doing things they don't want to do, even if it goes against the grain. In general, many tend to criticize people's looks, decisions, and lifestyles when they deviate from the norm. I'm proud to say I've never been that way. 2. Intellectually curious:  Unfortunately, most people don't share my passion for learning. The vast majority of those I come across are unwilling readers. They admit that they haven't opened a book or watched a documentary since graduating from college. In my view, this...

There are certain qualities we value in people, so much so that they inspire us to be more like these individuals. Here are the attributes that I most revere in people I truly respect and admire: Intelligence : People who can not only debate me on a substantive topic, but teach me something new along the way. They're intellectually curious, articulate, and well-read.  Hard work : I respect someone who's willing to give it their all in order to achieve a goal. Perseverance:  They get knocked down, but they get up again. They don't allow challenges or problems, however big or small, to derail their dreams. Passion:  They eat, drink, and sleep music, writing, business, cooking, or whatever it is they love. They're constantly trying to learn more, whether by reading books, watching YouTube videos, or asking others.  Unyielding : No matter how many times their friends or relatives might advise them to invest their energies in something that will be...

According to spontaneous trait transference , people will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. In other words, the traits you attribute to others are attributed right back to you. Interestingly, one study found that this effect took place even when people knew certain traits didn't describe the people who had talked about them. It seems that whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe someone else as trustworthy and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly bashing people behind their backs, people will begin to link such qualities to you. I suppose what's also at play here is that people might think -- whether consciously or subconcsciously -- that the person is projecting his or her own qualities onto others, especially if they describe the individual this way repeatedly. So there you have it. Complimenting other...