If I were to ask you what might make someone in your life -- whether a friend or dating prospect -- build a deep affection for you, what would you say? Your first instinct might be to respond with, "Doing nice things for them." Ironically, though, research has shown that we can actually get people to care about us more by having them do favors for us.  At first blush, this might seem rather counterintuitive, but it actually makes perfect sense. We have an affinity for the things and people we invest resources in -- whether time or money. So if we're taking time out of our busy day for someone, we start to think, "Hey, I must really care about this individual if I'm going the extra mile." Sure, if people do nice things for us, we can form a favorable impression of them. But it isn't until we find ourselves going out of our way for them that we realize they may very well occupy a special place in our heart. If being nice alone did the trick...

Have you noticed how some people don't come to appreciate the things you do for them until you stop doing those things? Whether you pack your lunch for your husband every morning, bring in your neighbor's trash can every evening, or take care of your cousin's dog everytime she's away on business, many people grow accustomed to being pampered without asking if there's anything they can do for you. These individuals come to expect such special treatment as if it were the norm; they conveniently forget that you're doing them a favor and have no obligation to accommodate them indefinitely. Even worse, many will fail to express their gratitude at all -- until, of course, you call them out on it or cease lending a hand for good. Relationships should involve reciprocal generosity -- a balanced exchange of give and take. Each of you should take turns doing favors. If only one person in the relationship is a giver, sooner or later they will feel taken for grant...

Usually, walking away from someone has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. You may be asking how this is possible. Well, those who have had to walk away from relationships because they've felt abused, ignored, or taken advantage of can attest to one thing: They didn't do it because they wanted to show the other person their worth. They did it because they themselves realized their worth. It was at that defining moment in their lives that they knew they could no longer be with someone who diminished them. Instead, they knew that the right person would enhance their life; he or she would help them grow into an even better version of themselves. But as long as they hesitated to walk away -- likely because of the paralyzing fear of being alone or having to start all over -- their destructive partners would continue to hinder their progress and fill their lives with angst. If someone is causing you tremendous pain, and you just can't ...

No matter how nice and accommodating you may be toward friends and family, you can't control their loyalty towards you. Never expect that just because you act a certain way toward someone, they'll immediately turn around and reciprocate. In a perfect world, everyone would be disposed to scratching our back when we scratch theirs, but there are no guarantees in life. Some people are takers far more than they are givers. They're out to benefit themselves and pay little attention to the plight of those they have the audacity to call a friend or loved one. Especially telling is when they vanish into thin air upon learning that someone needs help. A good person sticks by through thick and thin. Of course, we all have obligations -- work, children, community service, and the like -- that may prevent us from getting as deeply involved as we'd like. But if we're fed every excuse in the book for why a person can never be there for us, it starts to feel dising...

There are certain times in life where, after much sweat and tears, it only makes sense to walk away from something, whether it be a troubling relationship, dead-end job, or other unfavorable circumstance. Though walking away can often be difficult, life is too short to endure circumstances so trying that it becomes difficult to get out of bed every day and face the world. If you're in an abusive relationship, walk away. No one deserves to suffer that way at the hands of a partner who's lost their way and doesn't show the slightest interest in mending fences. If you're in a relationship where you're being taken advantage of despite being heavily invested in it (emotionally and otherwise), walk away. You deserve better than to remain with a person who blithely takes you for granted. If one of your friendships, whether new or old, no longer adds value to your life, walk away. There's a season for every friendship in our life; once distance and other lifes...

Nelson Mandela once said, "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." I think he was spot on. We should never allow the heart to dictate all our decisions, nor should we let rationality call the shots on its own all the time. Instead, we should balance what the mind wants with what the heart desires. The two should work in tandem with and complement each other, thus allowing us to make better decisions in the process. Wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time might lead to your being taken advantage of. And using logic as a guide without ever considering your emotions can be conducive to playing it too safe. With the latter, you're being too carefree. With the former, you're being too rigid. The ideal? Striking a healthy balance between the two. As long as the heart checks the brain and vice-versa, one is better positioned to make better choices. Do you agree with Mandela?