Contrary to popular opinion, walking away doesn't signal weakness on your part. It doesn't mean you're quitting on the relationship.  The truth of the matter is that we often walk away when we perceive the other person as having lost interest and given up. When you've exhausted all options -- from having frank conversations to trying to vivify the relationship by trying out new things to suggesting counseling -- you yourself are left so emotionally drained that you have nothing else left to give.  Failed relationships are usually the product of only one partner (or, in the worst cases, neither) investing time and energy in the other person. This can be challenging for some people because you have to be very intentional about it -- carving out time for your partner, coming up with ways to infuse life into the relationship, and so on. But most people use work, the kids, and other items on their To Do List as reasons for not being on the ball.  If your conscience tells you...

It's a question asked of me quite often. In the rough-and-tumble that is the dating world, do you stand out if you actually care less? Well, that depends on the people we're dealing with. Take a blonde bombshell who gets asked out all the time, with guys buying her flowers and candy left and right. Then, out of nowhere comes an attractive guy who isn't swooning over her. Though friendly, he treats her as he would any other woman he meets. She doesn't know for sure whether he's interested in her -- something she, quite frankly, is unaccustomed to -- and that piques her interest. The guy is effectively posing a challenge, and she's compelled to unearth why he doesn't allow himself to be made putty in her hands like all the other chumps do. That being said, giving off a more non-chalant vibe might work when the target is very attractive and has no shortage of options to choose from. Some people perceive those who give them the cold shoulder to...

Many people ask me whether a relationship or marriage can withstand the devastating blow dealt by a partner's infidelity. My answer? It depends. Some may, and some most certainly won't. You see, once a person cheats, their partner can never look at them in the same light ever again no matter how hard they may try.  Even if the victim finds it in their heart to give their significant other another chance, such an abominable breach of trust gives way to future suspicion of the cheater's motives. Are they really heading out to the gym at 9 p.m., and, if so, whom do they interact with there? Are they truly texting a friend as they say they are? If so, why must they do it during dinner and at late hours of the night? The cheater may thus come to resent having all his moves put under a microscope given his pledge to make amends for his wrongdoings. The victim might retort that their behavior is justified. After all, they forgave the cheater for straying in the re...

Never depend on anyone or anything to feel fulfilled in life. That includes: Your partner Your kids Your friends Your job/employer Your hobbies The operative word here is "depend." We depend on food, water, and oxygen for survival.  When it comes the examples listed above, they can certainly enhance our lives, but life satisfaction shouldn't depend on any one of them.  As we all know, things and people can change at the drop of a hat: Your partner could cheat on or fall out of love with you Your kids may distance themselves from you (or even grow to dislike you) as they get older Shifting priorities may water down your relationships You can be laid off at any given moment, or you may come to hate your job over time You can throw your back, rendering you unable to play football or other games you may enjoy  The car, watch, or mug you love so much could break unexpectedly I'm not saying these things will most definitely happen, but t...

Sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that certain people whom we were once very close to know nothing about our lives anymore. I've noted the reasons why people can drift apart in other posts. Some of those include: A major life change (marriage, kids, etc.) Someone moves far away A job change that places major demands on the person  One person begins to hang out with a different crowd When both people experience such lifestyle changes simultaneously (e.g., both graduate from college at the same time), the changes don't feel nearly as drastic, and the adjustment process can is almost seemless. But when only one person changes course, the other is often left with a major void in his or her life. This happened to me a few years ago. My closest friend -- the best man at my wedding, in fact -- moved to a city 5 hours away from me. Though we see each other occasionally, our friendship hasn't been the same since. If I'm lucky, I'm able to get ...

Many people claim to despise Facebook these days, as they say it serves as a constant reminder of things they either don't have or that aren't going as smoothly as they'd like. Those who are single and yearn to be in a relationship are forced to see a barrage of posts of their friends cuddling with their significant other. Those who are in a relationship and long to be married (but they can't for financial or other reasons) have to sit through endless wedding pictures. And then those who are married or in a relationship -- and have either chosen not to have kids or desire them but haven't had them for one reason or another -- often see their Wall saturated with baby pictures. Let's not forget those who boast of their shiny cars, vacations, or dining experiences seemingly every single day. This leaves many of these people feeling like losers -- ones who can't get anyone to "like"or comment favorably on their content because it revolves a...

I'd like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas! Whether you're in Connecticut, Calgary, or Calcutta, I hope you are having a wonderful day with friends and family. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, here's to a joyous holiday season.  While the fact Christmas comes only once each year makes it a special time -- especially for kids -- there's no question many parents are breathing a sigh of relief as the day draws to a close.  After all, between shopping for gifts at jam-packed malls, hosting holiday parties, and finalizing loose ends at work before the end of the year, it can be an awfully stressful and frenzied time even for those who consider themselves pros at this sort of thing.  It's important not to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It isn't about toys or shopping sprees, but spending time with family and being thankful for what you have. I see it as a continuation or extension of Thanksgiving, even though we ought to...

Want to know who's most responsible for your happiness? That's easy. Look in the mirror . It isn't your partner, children, siblings, or friends. Happiness emanates from inside, which means only you complete yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent -- one of my favorite quotes, I might add. Oprah Winfrey quipped that you cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you but yourself. And, as Mandy Hale puts it, happiness is an inside job, and you should never assign anyone else that much power over your life. Instead, you should wield that power to make a better life for yourself. Do whatever makes you happy -- whether it's exploring new continents or simply laying by the pool at home. Happiness starts with you -- not with your job, relationships, or money. If that weren't the case, there wouldn't be people in the world who have found a way to enjoy ...

One of the surest ways to feeling stressed out is the sense that the walls are caving in on you. Rather than being in control of your life, your life is controlling you. You feel like a prisoner with no way out in sight. Those who report feeling this way tend to have too much on their plate. A job that requires ridiculous hours. A spouse and kids. Community service activities. A rigorous exercise routine. And so forth. While packing as much as we can into our schedule certainly prevents life from getting boring, we need to leave ourselves a bit of breathing room. Studies show that stress leads to negative health outcomes like headaches and heart disease. What's more, it may lead to coping mechanisms that can also be disadvantageous to one's health, like overeating, smoking, drinking, or taking illegal drugs. Once you feel as though there's not enough time in the day to do a single thing you enjoy doing for leisure -- read a book, watch a show, listen to music -- it ...

In my last post, I argued that men's biggest complaint about women is that they generally don't know what they want in the arena of relationships. Some claim to want a nice, sweet guy, but they still end up with the exact opposite. What they say they want and what they actually go for don't always square. Does this mean that all women have a preference for bad boys? Nope, not at all. What all women do want, as I pointed out in that earlier post, is a man with confidence. Because these bad boy types exude self-confidence (sometimes women mistake cockiness for confidence, however), women find themselves drawn to them. A guy can still be nice and romantic as long as he does it in small doses. No woman wants a man to worship the ground she walks on, as it communicates that the guy is needy and trying to supplicate to her. That just isn't the way to build attraction. A guy who doesn't seem sure of himself and always looks to his partner for approval is not do...

Just like the only constant in life is change, the same can be said for relationships. Can you point to a relationship in your life -- whether with a friend, your partner, or an old coworker -- that is exactly the same as when you first met the person? Relationships evolve, just like the people in them. They go hand in hand. Experiences and lifestyle changes lead to changes in both individuals, which in turn effects change in the relationship. If that weren't so, we'd remain very close with every person we've called a friend. But we all know factors like distance, scheduling conflicts, our job, marriage, and kids can change the dynamics of a relationship. It isn't always easy to swallow such changes, but that's what life is all about -- adapting to changing circumstances. Sometimes people change for the better -- like when they give up smoking, become more helpful around the house, and so on. In other cases, however, people can behave in ways detrime...

How do you know that a friendship is real -- that it's built to last? The test is simple: See what happens when one person doesn't need the other for anything anymore. We all get something out of friendships: a person to hit up the bar with, a gym buddy, a shoulder to cry on when things go awry. But sometimes circumstances change in one's life that leaves them with less time for or interest in a given friendship: They move, get married, they have kids, and so forth. Unfortunately, many of my friendships have ceased to exist -- or become much more watered down -- as soon as the person got into a relationship. Some people seem to have trouble juggling their relationship with their friendships. It could be a sign of a possessive partner, or maybe the friend is so head over heels in love that they couldn't care less about their friends anymore. I've observed that people who abandon their friends for a relationship end up regretting it, especially if the re...

There's a quote I saw somewhere a few years ago that has stayed firmly embedded in memory: "To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world." Think about it. There are roughly 7 to 7.5 billion people on earth. Unless you're Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Kim Kardashian, or some other famous politician or celebrity, you -- like me -- are merely a speck of matter on this vast, overpopulated planet. Luckily, each and every one of us has a special place in someone's heart. We're all the center of someone's universe, whether it's that of our kids, partner, friends, or all of the above. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be loved by a few people and remain largely obscure to the general population than be in the shoes of celebrities and politicians, many of whom are reviled by people from all corners of the world. There's a reason why people go through an intense grieving process when they lose...

It's interesting how much life really changes as we get older. When we're young -- say, in our late teens and early 20s -- we have ample time for ourselves, but not much money to make the most of that time. Once we hit our 30s -- the time when we typically settle down to start a family and are more established in our careers -- we find ourselves on more solid footing financially, but with much less time available than we had in our post-high school years. It isn't until the kids move out for college that we transition back to a life where we can focus more on ourselves and our interests, but by then, those interests tend to be radically different than the ones we enjoyed when we were younger. It's no surprise more and more couples are waiting longer to have kids -- or are opting not to have them at all.  Perfectly content with their sans-kids lifestyle, such couples are in no hurry to go from a life of unfettered freedom to baby bottles and Dora the Explorer. ...

There's a growing trend in schools across the country that should bring a sigh of relief to many students and their parents: Teachers are assigning less homework, if at all. This comes after scores of parents have complained that their kids are getting far too many homework assignments to complete on a daily basis, preventing them from spending valuable time together. "Kids need time to be kids," insist many of the worried parents. What they mean is that the children need time to play video games and frolic as they please. I remember getting loads of homework as far back as elementary school. The issue is that kids are required to take so many classes in different subjects -- from reading and language arts to math and social studies -- that the work adds up. They might have a different teacher for every subject, none of whom are keeping tabs on the volume of homework assigned to each student. My take is that teachers ought to focus on quality and not quantity. I...

Which month of the year do you think sees the most divorces being filed? If you said January, you're correct. What an awful way to start the year, right? I can only surmise that married couples refrain from filing for divorce in November or December so as to avoid disrupting the holidays for their family. You can only imagine how painful that would be for them, especially if kids are in the picture. I, myself, witnessed my parents getting divorced when I was only 3. The whole child support/visitation thing was really rough. Sometimes I felt like a piece of property being sent back and forth between two households via FedEx. Though I'm not sure whether they officially got divorced in January, I'm certain it didn't take place over the holidays. I suppose some couples who take this huge step in January see it as paving the way for a great year instead of a bad one, especially if the marriage is so tumultuous that both parties couldn't get out of it fast e...

It's that time of the year again -- kids across the nation are commencing what they -- and their teachers and parents alike -- hope will be a fabulous school year. Now that school is back in session, we can certainly count on two things happening, especially in the next couple of weeks: 1. Traffic will get worse: If you happen to live and work near school zones -- as I do -- your commute most definitely will get longer.  In my case, during the school year it takes me roughly 10-15 minutes longer to get to work in the morning and home in the evening.  I try to leave extra early in the morning to beat the traffic, which often results in my getting to work an hour early. That's when I recline my chair in the chair and pull out a book -- or, I get a few extra Zzs.  As for the evening, if I see traffic slowing to a crawl, I stop by a nearby Starbucks or library -- book in hand -- and wait it out. If I leave an hour or two later, I usually get home in abou...

If you had a choice between acquiring more time or more money, which one would you choose? For many of us, each seem in short supply year-round. Still, I would opt for the former. I think the expression "time is money" is dead on. With more time, I could find ways to get more money, whether that means staying later at work or getting a side job. Those who don't have as pressing a need for more cash can use the additional time for hobbies, or spend it with friends and family. Parents, in particular, regard free time as a luxury, especially during the kid's first few years. For those of you on the fence, maybe this tidbit will put things in perspective for you: Time is the only thing in this world (other than our lives once we die, of course) that we can't get back. All that time wasted in bumper-to-bumper traffic or waiting at doctor's offices? That's irretrievable. There's a reason we make such a big stink about getting older and seeing the...

Many childfree individuals like myself get asked repeatedly when it is that we plan to have children. The pressure is even more pronounced for women, who society expects to kick into baby-making mode as soon as the so-called clock begins to tick. What doesn't add up, though, is that many of the parents asking the question are the same ones who complain about the stress and headaches brought on by parenting. They're endorsing the very thing that's making them go haywire. It's like being miserable at work as an accountant and encouraging others to follow the same career path. As hard and stressful as it may be, having kids is the norm in most people's eyes. It's just "what you do," and if one decides not to have children, people assume sterility is to blame or that something else is wrong.  It's unfair to say that all parents are envious of the childfree, but it's certainly likely that a few of them are. After all, the childfree hav...

It's Tuesday morning and I feel tired. Tired and lazy, to be more precise. But why is it that I feel this way if it's only Tuesday? I should feel more energetic given that the week has only just begun. Oh, now I remember... This past weekend, I did so many things that I couldn't possibly remember all of them -- from visiting my mom to going shopping to hanging out with friends to attending my sister's birthday dinner. (I know I missed a couple...) We have a tendency to cram so many things into our weekend itineraries -- after all, it's usually the only time people who work full-time have to run their errands -- that we fail to leave some time for much-needed rest and relaxation. That leaves us feeling awfully tired as we enter the new work week. When I'm tired, I get lethargic, and that translates into an unproductive worker. Usually, I make it a priority of mine to spend at least a few hours on Saturday and Sunday taking a breather. And you should t...