Does caring less make others more attractive?

It's a question asked of me quite often.

In the rough-and-tumble that is the dating world, do you stand out if you actually care less?

Well, that depends on the people we're dealing with.

Take a blonde bombshell who gets asked out all the time, with guys buying her flowers and candy left and right.

Then, out of nowhere comes an attractive guy who isn't swooning over her. Though friendly, he treats her as he would any other woman he meets.

She doesn't know for sure whether he's interested in her -- something she, quite frankly, is unaccustomed to -- and that piques her interest.

The guy is effectively posing a challenge, and she's compelled to unearth why he doesn't allow himself to be made putty in her hands like all the other chumps do.

That being said, giving off a more non-chalant vibe might work when the target is very attractive and has no shortage of options to choose from.

Some people perceive those who give them the cold shoulder to be confident in themselves, needing no one's validation -- and that's sexy in their eyes.

But it might not work either.

Maybe they're not interested in a relationship right now, they don't find your attractive, or your standoffish behavior rubs them the wrong way.

As for people who are more average-looking and not exactly beating potential partners off with a stick, the approach may backfire completely.

Many men and women out there take relationships seriously. They've been burned in the past by an ex, or they themselves toyed with someone's emotions and learned their lesson. Now they're looking for the real deal.

At the same time, you don't want to appear overly interested in the beginning so as to seem desperate.

For example, it's probably not a sound idea to broach the topic of marriage and kids on the first couple of dates, or to pester the other person with calls and compliments.

Why not aim for something in the middle?

You can express interest while being a bit of a challenge. You can be kind and romantic, but also funny and mysterious at the same time.

But the dynamics evolve once things become more serious. Making a conscious effort to keep a partner guessing just doesn't work in the same way once two people know each other as well -- flaws included.

When taken too far, projected indifference has the potential to unravel a relationship.

In conclusion, if you prioritize looks in a partner and won't settle for anything less than a model or athlete, a little aloofness may score you some points.

But if you value inner beauty more than physical appearance (which isn't to say the person can't be physically attractive), you're probably better off not going to such lengths.

Then again, you just never know. The shy, meek girl at the gym may be the one who has a thing for buff biker guys.

Attraction isn't easy to grasp, and we -- no matter our personalities, traits, and quirks-- can't help but feel drawn toward certain people.

In the grand scheme of things, indifference shouldn't be a likeable trait -- but some people are helplessly drawn to the role of pursuer.

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

Search This Blog