We come across difficult people everywhere -- at work, at family gatherings, and even while driving. No matter how nice you are and how diplomatic you aim to be, there will always be someone bent on raining on your parade, especially if they sense you're generally in a happy mood. Don't pay such individuals any mind. Think of it this way: Why allow someone who doesn't pay your bills, isn't there for you in tough times, and doesn't put you on their priority list exert so much control over your emotions? There are those people over which it makes complete sense to worry -- our parents, our kids, and the like. But letting that surly driver who cut you off on the way home or the obnoxious cashier at the grocery store ruin your day does nothing but empower them. Don't harp on the incident -- just let it go. Distract your mind by listening to music, watching a movie, throwing yourself into your work, taking a nap, playing with your child, or doing anyt...

Are you constantly worrying over where your partner is at 10 p.m. at night? Does he or she continue to grapple with drug or alcohol problems despite the fact they've pledged time and time again to quit and seek treatment? Have they done something to suggest they're not capable of being trusted, like cheating on or stealing from you? Do they constantly pick fights for no apparent reason? If this sounds like your relationship -- one with the flair for the dramatic -- then something isn't right. A romantic relationship shouldn't keep you on edge all of the time. You should not have to fear your partner's next move given their penchant for chaos and unpredictability. Now, no one's perfect, of course. We all make mistakes. We all let the other person down from time to time. But it certainly should not be an everyday occurrence. In fact, a partner is the one we often go to for comfort; they, of all people, bring a sense of stability to our lives (at...

Is there anything you really want to do in your life, but find yourself paralyzed by the fear of failure? Maybe you want to leave your comfortable job for a more challenging post with another company, but you're worried it won't work out. Perhaps you wish to propose to your girlfriend, but you can't quash a nagging fear that she will say no. What do such hypothetical scenarios have in common? That in each case, we tend to think the very worst. No sooner do we set a goal than we imagine ourselves being unsuccessful. Sure, falling short is a real possibility for every one of us. But are we really going to let the prospect of failure keep us from even trying? Never be afraid of taking a risk , so long as you feel that: 1. Provided that you invest the time and effort, you have a real shot at succeeding. 2. If you do succeed, you're certain the benefits will outweigh the costs of taking the plunge. Of course, if you don't plan to work your butt of...

Never let anyone else decide what makes you happy. That's a unilateral decision only YOU can make! They may assume that just because they think a certain way about something -- either because they were brought up that way or developed firm convictions over time -- you will (or should) feel the same way. You have the power to be as happy as you decide to be. Why? Because happiness is an inside job. It doesn't come from our jobs, our relationships, our partner, or our hobbies. While those aspects can certainly enhance our lives, we can have them and still feel miserable. (Example: Filthy rich celebrities who struggle with depression.) As long as what makes you happy isn't damaging to yourself or those around you, indulge in your hobbies and passions as you please. If others insist you'll be happier in a different career, in a different relationship, or in a different city, you be the judge of that. Where do people get off assuming they know you better ...

Sometimes people confuse envy  with jealousy , using them interchangeably as if they shared the same definition. But their meanings are in fact slightly different. Envy is wanting something that someone has that you perceive as lacking or absent in your life. Jealousy  is being afraid to lose something that is already yours. If you have a burning desire to have your co-worker or boss's job -- especially if you've been passed over for it in the past -- you're likely envious of him. If you wish you could have your neighbor's car, your sister's charisma, or your gym teacher's physique, you may very well harbor some envy . On the other hand, if your blood begins to boil when you see your spouse talking to the attractive cashier at the grocery store -- whose smiles and suggestive looks leave little doubt she's being flirtatious -- you're jealous.  In other words, envy involves comparing oneself to someone else and begrudging the fact that we...

All of us experience some anxiety every so often. Maybe we're prepping for a big presentation, awaiting test results, or about to bungee jump for the first time. While a little anxiety is normal, it can quickly spiral out of control unless we're careful. Thinking incessantly about what may happen or go wrong -- otherwise known as overthinking -- can lead one to create problems in their mind that don't exist. We almost convince ourselves that we're going to bomb the presentation, that the test results won't be favorable, or that we'll seriously injure ourselves upon jumping. In essence, we allow fear and pessimism to paralyze us with their ironclad grip. But here's the thing: Anxiety doesn't come from merely thinking about the future. It's caused by trying to control the future. We really have no idea what the future holds, so it makes little sense to fabricate images in our heads of what it will look like. Who's to say things won...

True strength comes not from what you do, but from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't. Whether it's thinking that learning a new language is too difficult, that a better job is out of reach, or that leaving an abusive relationship is near impossible, we can overcome these mental roadblocks we set for ourselves by:  Believing in ourselves  Adopting a positive mindset  Working hard to reach our goal  Accepting that occasional setbacks are normal  Never giving up You can do anything you set your heart and mind to. It may not happen exactly when and how you want it to, but you must never lose hope if you wish to prevail.  And achieving success sometimes involves taking difficult steps, like reaching out to others for help, reworking our whole strategy if not starting all over from scratch, putting up with people who may try to get in our way, and sacrificing ample resources (whether mental, financial, or time-oriented).  ...

Usually, walking away from someone has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. You may be asking how this is possible. Well, those who have had to walk away from relationships because they've felt abused, ignored, or taken advantage of can attest to one thing: They didn't do it because they wanted to show the other person their worth. They did it because they themselves realized their worth. It was at that defining moment in their lives that they knew they could no longer be with someone who diminished them. Instead, they knew that the right person would enhance their life; he or she would help them grow into an even better version of themselves. But as long as they hesitated to walk away -- likely because of the paralyzing fear of being alone or having to start all over -- their destructive partners would continue to hinder their progress and fill their lives with angst. If someone is causing you tremendous pain, and you just can't ...

One of the surest ways to have people to step all over you is to always wear your heart on your sleeve and not think things through rationally. Some people go to great lengths to avoid conflict and confrontation -- so much so that they'll acquiesce to others' every desire. Being too much of a people pleaser, ironically, will hurt you in the end -- the exact scenario you're aiming to avoid in the first place --because someone will eventually exploit your generous nature to get as much out of you as they can. Yes, you should try to do favors for others and lend a hand when it's needed. But you shouldn't be afraid to say no to someone for fear of disappointing them or causing a rift in the relationship. A relationship built on fear is no relationship at all. If something so minute can lead to tensions in the relationship, it begs the question: Is this the kind of person you want to be around? You can be nice without being a doormat. It may sound counterintu...

I equate a lack of self-confidence with not trusting one's abilities. One of the best quotes I've ever heard in a movie was featured in the 2005 film "Coach Carter," starring Samuel L. Jackson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." In case you haven't seen the movie, Samuel L. Jackson plays a high school basketball coach whose hired to reverse the team's dismal fortunes. When it turns out that most of the players are flunking their classes, Jackson's character imposes a lockout until the players demonstrate academic improvement. Against all odds, the players succeed, and the team goes on to win a championship. I'll be the first to admit that I don't trust my ability to do certain things. I've always been something of a bungling handyman, in part because my father, who's known to be great with ...

It seems we hear a different story involving a creepy clown sighting almost every day now. They've been seen ambling the streets, lurking in apartment complexes, and skulking in parks. I remember reading about one in Winsconsin who walked around holding black balloons. The crown frenzy has seemingly hit a fever pitch in recent months, with people pushing the panic button and calling the cops as soon as they spot someone in a clown mask. While I think this is simply a trend that will eventually fizzle out, there's no question some people have nothing better to do than try to strike fear in the hearts of unsuspecting individuals. Many of us were scared of clowns to begin with. This surge of clown sightings only heightens people's anxiety, especially in light of the various police shootings and terrorist acts that have dominated the headlines of late. And don't look now, but Halloween is right around the corner. This means we should expect to see more clowns po...

When you look back on the best times of your life, vacations are likely to come to mind -- whether family trips to Walt Disney World as a child, scuba diving adventures with friends, or romantic Caribbean escapes with your spouse. But why is it that vacations hold so much meaning? Why do we have a tendency to say "I need a vacation" in the first place? It's simple: vacations help us escape reality. They offer welcome respite from the daily grind, which, for most people, starts with getting up for work and ends with going to sleep to get up for work. In other words, vacations break a pattern of mundaneness in our life, even if only for a couple of days. Beyond that, vacations create memories, some of which remain etched in our minds and hearts for the rest of our lives. Like eating something new for the first time or entering into a new relationship, visiting a new destination can be very exciting. For example, to behold the Grand Canyon or Statue of Liberty fo...

Many people show more interest in other people when they're not around than when they are. We all have that coworker who may not talk to us for days at work, but somehow they notice when we're not there and proceed to inquire about it. Many of us have been in a relationship where the other person takes us for granted -- until we begin to show signs of getting fed up and cease putting in as much time and effort. Then there's the friend who only seems to care about the friendship once you've stopped calling and visiting them. If we want people to appreciate us, we have no choice but to force them to invest time and effort in us too -- not just the other way around. By doing so, the individual realizes that if they're taking their spare time to do something for us, they must truly care about us. The tendency to take others for granted is a theme I've broached in myriad posts on the blog. I understand that we get busy, and being unable to answer every ...

Never let your past mistakes and experiences prevent you from taking on new challenges or opportunities. Most of us have had jobs that wound up being a bad fit, not to mention been in at least one relationship that ended badly. But you should never let the fear of going through another bad experience keep you from taking on a promising job or starting a new relationship that has the makings of a fruitful union. After all, it's experience that teaches us what we did wrong so that it won't happen again in the future. Next time a seemingly great job opportunity or dating prospect comes into the picture, we should be better equipped to determine whether either is right for us, given the lesson we learned the first time. Thus, experience should serve to facilitate growth and progress in our lives, not inhibit it.  I realize it can feel like a big gamble to take the plunge once more after being left hurt or disillusioned the last time. But integral to the human experience i...