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The difference between envy and jealousy

Sometimes people confuse envy with jealousy, using them interchangeably as if they shared the same definition.

But their meanings are in fact slightly different.

Envy is wanting something that someone has that you perceive as lacking or absent in your life.

Jealousy is being afraid to lose something
that is already yours.

If you have a burning desire to have your co-worker or boss's job -- especially if you've been passed over for it in the past -- you're likely envious of him.

If you wish you could have your neighbor's car, your sister's charisma, or your gym teacher's physique, you may very well harbor some envy.

On the other hand, if your blood begins to boil when you see your spouse talking to the attractive cashier at the grocery store -- whose smiles and suggestive looks leave little doubt she's being flirtatious -- you're jealous. 

In other words, envy involves comparing oneself to someone else and begrudging the fact that we're not as rich, as attractive, or as accomplished as they are.

Jealousy is different in that one feels threatened at the prospect of losing something to another individual.

There isn't anything wrong with having a healthy, measured dose of either one of these.

A bit of envy can fuel the drive to pursue a better job, for example. And being a tad jealous shows your partner that you care about them.

But envy and jealousy can become problematic if taken to the extreme.

Excessive envy conveys that you're flat-out "hating" on someone else.

It's important not to give into the temptation to compare ourselves constantly to other people. Remember: We all lead different lives. We all face tough battles that others are unaware of.

Rather than focusing on having a life more similar to your neighbor or coworker's, concentrate on making yours great by achieving your own goals and doing whatever makes you happy.

Live the kind of life you imagine for yourself -- not one you feel you have to emulate just to gain others' approval.

Moreover, an overly jealous partner comes off as being insecure. If you trust your partner, there's no reason to fear someone else is going to snatch him or her from you.

If they genuinely love you -- and have done nothing to show they're capable of straying -- you can rest assured that your significant other is, and will always be, faithful to you.

(If that doesn't turn out to be the case, you can address it immediately with your partner, and you have every right to move on should you so desire.)

To recap, it's only human to exhibit feelings of envy and jealousy every now and then.

Though they may seem alike to some, envy means being preoccupied with gaining something you don't have, and jealousy has to do with worrying about losing something you do have.

While a tad of both/either can actually be a good thing, too much of it poses a serious threat to our relationships and can actually leave us feeling bitter and sullen.

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