When someone feels no remorse over cheating on their partner, it only means they never cared for them in the first place. Think about the world of hurt that revelations of infidelity can put the victim in. It's like taking a knife and stabbing the person right in the heart. Studies have shown that emotional pain can be just as damaging -- if not more so -- than physical pain. And when one experiences this form of betrayal, it can feel as though their world has come crashing down. Imagine investing your time, effort, and emotions in someone who chose to throw it all away in an act (or several) of pure selfishness. The least they could do is fess up and allow their partner to find someone who will actually value their loyalty. Unfortunately, it's very hard to discern early into the relationship whether your partner is prone to cheating, or will slip at some point. (It isn't as if you're going to put out feelers by asking his friends or relatives whether he...

The best way to get back at someone is not by inflicting harm on them -- whether physical, mental, or emotional pain. It's not by wishing that something bad were to happen to them. It's not by stealing from, cheating on, lying to, or publicly embarrassing them. All of these methods are cold, calculated, utterly pointless and, quite frankly, callow. Two wrongs don't make a right. By seeking retribution, you stoop to the other person's level. The best way to get back at someone is by demonstrating to them that your life is richer and more fulfilling without them in it.  In other words, you show that making the most of your life -- by indulging your hobbies and spending time with people you love -- doesn't have to involve him or her. Whether the person dumped you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back, or did something else to betray your trust, rest assured that someday, somebody will do the same to them. It is then they'll realize how you must h...

We've all been there: Someone who we trust deeply stabs us in the back, and our world comes crashing down in an instant. We may be in denial at first, refusing to accept the fact that someone so near and dear to us could fritter away our trust. Once we come to terms with what has occurred, we may find it difficult to confide in anyone again for a while. Perhaps you discovered that your partner cheated on you. Maybe you caught your coworker spreading rumors about you behind your back. Or, you realized that your friend of 20 years has been stealing money from you. No matter the form of deception, it can be devastating. In the worst cases, such events can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem, leading to depression and other negative health outcomes. So what happens next? As the victim, that's really up to you. You were wronged and can pursue whatever course of action you deem fair. If he or she displays genuine remorse -- including a sincere apology that feels like it...

Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

Everyone always focuses on whether the person who was cheated on will forgive the cheater, but should the cheater forgive himself/herself? No matter how consumed with guilt or shame they may be, it's not so much about forgiving themselves, but getting back up and making amends for what they did. For starters, they must acknowledge that what they did was wrong -- no excuses are fair game! Then, the cheater should own up to what he or she did and apologize without expecting their partner to accept the apology, let alone take them back . If the person finds it in their heart to forgive, then more power to them. But that decision is theirs and theirs alone to make, and the cheater should not bombard the partner they wronged if the latter opts never to speak to him or her again. In life, for better or worse, we must deal with the consequences of our actions. Cheating is one of those areas where an "undo" button may not be available to us. Most important, the cheat...

Some people are under the impression that cheating is fair game as long as your partner cheats on you first. This, though, could not be further from the truth. Cheating is unacceptable under all circumstances . Two wrongs don't make a right! If you've been cheated on, don't stoop to your unfaithful partner's level. Ditch him or her and find yourself someone worthy of your time and affections. Cheating even as an act of retribution makes it no less reprehensible. By cheating on someone who has wronged you, you give them ammunition to ask, "If my actions were so horrible, why'd you follow suit?" Again, the very second the urge strikes to get payback on your partner by cheating on him or her, that's when you know you're better off pulling the plug on the relationship. Why would you want to remain with that person anyway? People stay with cheaters for all sorts of reasons: They buy into the cheater's ostensibly heartfelt contriti...