A study published just this year reveals many of the motives people give for cheating on their partner. And though they may claim that they were justified in their decision to do so, nothing they can see can give them a free pass because cheating is wrong in every sense of the word. 1. Falling out of love: Over three quarters (77%) of participants indicated that a lack of love for their partner and/or greater love for someone else prompted them to stray. 2. Seeking variety: Nearly 75% of respondents cited boredom in their relationship as a factor that drove them to cheat. More men tied variety-seeking to their infidelity than did women. 3. Feeling neglected: Participants (70%) revealed that their partner's lack of attention ultimately led to their wandering eye. This reason was offered by more women than men. 4.  Situational factors: Roughly 70% of participants said their infidelity wasn't necessary premeditated and/or carried out due to discontent in the relationsh...

As I've noted in prior posts, many people are regarded as shy, antisocial, or even weird just because they enjoy their own company. It doesn't matter that they make a genuine effort to interact with others. Because they're not constantly loud and seeking the spotlight -- and we see this happen all the time in the workplace -- they're labeled as awkward, secretive, and even stuck-up. And thanks to the press propagating the notion that all dangerous and mentally unstable people are loners, it has made the public fearful of anyone who comes across as reticent. What many people don't understand is that not everyone feels every thought that pops into their mind should be verbalized. Some of us simply like to observe and think through what we're going to say before opening our mouths. Introverts draw energy inward. After interacting with people for a good chunk of the day, they seek alone time in order to recharge their batteries. Such time allows them to ...

Want to know the most ironic thing about those who are full of themselves? It's that people who are full of themselves are mostly empty on the inside.  If someone is heavily preoccupied with themselves, it can only mean that they're aiming to compensate for something they perceive as lacking. They can't quite put a finger on what's missing, so what do they do? Spend hundreds of dollars and countless hours on clothing, makeup, cars, and the like. So what might these people be trying to compensate for? It could include: Low self-esteem A sagging level of confidence Loneliness Feeling as though their life lacks direction  It's no surprise that many people who were perceived as bad boys/girls in their younger years later admit that they were the farthest thing away from tough and confident.  They simply rebelled as a way of channeling the discontent they felt about and in their lives. Let us make a clear distinction between confidence and co...

Chances are there's someone in your midst who carries an ego bigger than the state of Texas. They're heavily preoccupied with looking good in front of others. They can't bear to lose, whether a promotion to a colleague or a game of chess to a friend. They have an unquenchable thirst to come out on top, no matter the cost. Why is it that some people have such oversized egos?  The answer lies in something known as the egocentric bias . First coined in 1980 by Anthony Greenwald, a psychologist at Ohio State University, egocentric bias is the tendency to depend too heavily on one's own perspective and/or have a higher opinion of oneself than reality. It stems from the psychological need to satisfy one's ego, which research suggests can be advantageous for memory consolidation. As it turns out, ideas, beliefs, and experiences are more easily recalled when they match one's own, inducing an egocentric perspective. The effects of egocentric bias can vary based...

Whether it's a love interest who's made you their "plan B" in case it doesn't work out with their first choice, or a friend who only calls you when plans with other people fall through, never allow yourself to be someone's backup. What a lousy position to be in!  The other person is essentially saying that you're not good enough to be their top pick. Well, here's the good news: You will always be good enough for someone else out there. You will be someone's first choice. And that's why it's imperative that you not rest on your laurels when someone places you on the back burner. By doing so, you risk missing out on opportunities to meet or be with people who genuinely value your time and the ways you enhance their lives. Rather than pine for someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day, you should gravitate toward people who feel that investing time in you is well worth it. If people don't choose you, tough luck. ...

When someone treats you like you're just one of their many options, help them narrow their options by removing yourself from the equation. Whether the woman you're after tells you that five other guys are in the running for her affections or your friend claims to already have plans every time you propose hanging out with him, you can do so much better. You deserve better! People make time for those who matter to them. If you're always playing second fiddle to other people, it's plain to see where the person in question's loyalties lie. More importantly, you should ask yourself why you're even pining for someone who appears to be in such high demand. Is this person serious about building long-lasting relationships, or are they simply trying to stroke their ego by having several people vie for their time? In case no one has informed them, life isn't a popularity contest. Stringing people along is selfish and inconsiderate of others' time ...

Today's quote is quite empowering -- and it comes from none other than Dr. Seuss himself! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Essentially, he's saying that the people who ultimately matter in your life are the ones who will value you for who you are. On the other hand, those who try to prod you to change -- most likely out of a deep-seated urge to seek validation for their own thoughts and decisions -- shouldn't have any place in your life. Those who take exception with your interests, beliefs, and values do little to enrich your life, whereas people who embrace what makes you you are true keepers. There's nothing I find more irritating than a person trying to persuade me into thinking or acting more on them, let alone after I tell them I want to stick to my guns. There's a difference between suggesting someone consider something they may initially be opposed to, a...

...and assume the following: you find him really, really attractive you're single and craving some companionship you desperately need the job you figure that a little rough-and-tumble in bed can only open up promotion opportunities Your first reaction is probably, "That's preposterous. No woman with a healthy level of self-respect would ever do that." But let's be real. In the heat of the moment, anything can happen. Loneliness can leave us feeling vulnerable. And when a person you find very attractive comes on you, it isn't always to resist his or her advances.  However, sleeping with your boss can open a can of worms when: one of you presses the other for something more serious the sex results in an unwanted pregnancy you decide you want to leave the company, much to your boss's chagrin, or vice-versa the boss treats you differently if you're not putting out If I found myself in this situation, I would do my best to muster e...