People love to criticize THIS about others

As I've noted in prior posts, many people are regarded as shy, antisocial, or even weird just because they enjoy their own company.

It doesn't matter that they make a genuine effort to interact with others.

Because they're not constantly loud and seeking the spotlight -- and we see this happen all the time in the workplace -- they're labeled as awkward, secretive, and even stuck-up.

And thanks to the press propagating the notion that all dangerous and mentally unstable people are loners, it has made the public fearful of anyone who comes across as reticent.

What many people don't understand is that not everyone feels every thought that pops into their mind should be verbalized. Some of us simply like to observe and think through what we're going to say before opening our mouths.

Introverts draw energy inward. After interacting with people for a good chunk of the day, they seek alone time in order to recharge their batteries. Such time allows them to collect their thoughts.

That being said, some people are just wired in this way. It's not that they're actively trying to run away from people. It doesn't mean they're self-absorbed.

The person in question should communicate clearly and openly that it is nothing personal. They may never quite buy it, but no one should have to seek others' approval for their innate temperament and personality!

If someone doesn't want to be the life of the party, no one should push them to be.

If someone would rather stay home Friday night than go to a party, that should be respected.

Some people become more drained by heavy social interaction than others.

Some people are more contemplative than others.

Rather than viewing such people as quiet and reclusive, why can't people regard them as deep and introspective? Why not give these individuals a chance to warm up to them?

It's a shame people resort to passing judgment, but it's their way of satisfying the ego. If they don't know you well, they figure they have no choice but to fill in the gaps themselves.

If anything, it shows that a quiet person makes them feel insecure. They may wrestle with questions like, "Are they quiet only sound me -- or everyone else?" "Is there something they don't like about me?" "What is their problem?"

Again, some people are just soft-spoken and averse to attention. It may take them a little time to open up, but they shouldn't be labeled unjustly for their demeanor.

It's time to dispel this notion that people who seem to enjoy alone time are secretly begging to be around others, or that they loathe people in general.

Should people, quiet or otherwise, aim to better their social skills? Absolutely. I feel there's always room for improvement.

But they should never be forced to become someone they're not. That will only serve to make them recoil even more.

If you give them a chance, you might be surprised to find a kind soul with whom you can forge a great relationship.

A book should never be judged by its cover.

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How to Read People

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