Do people try to make you feel guilty or foolish for wanting to do something that you know will make you happy in the long run, but that they perceive as wrong because it isn't something they'd do themselves? At the end of the day, it's your life! Whether you decide to date someone your friends may not be particularly keen on, venture into a field that does not square with what your parents envisioned, or nurture a hobby your co-workers may deem utterly dull, nobody's opinion should take precedence over your own gut instincts. Yes, the people near and dear to us may make well-meaning suggestions. But if they really think they know us better -- our passions, desires, goals -- than we know ourselves, they're flat-out fooling themselves. Let's face it: Sometimes going down a different path than others brings out their insecurities. People want you to think and act in ways that validate their own decisions. So when you do something that strikes them as...

Many people are under the misapprehension that only by gaining the approval of others can we truly be happy. But this couldn't be further from the truth. While people can certainly enrich our lives, some individuals lock themselves into the mindset that without others' validation, they must be doing something wrong. It compels them to plead with these people for answers. It pushes them to change in any way necessary to gain their acceptance. Granted, if the person in question is living recklessly -- say, doing drugs, mistreating his wife, or gambling away his savings every weekend -- it is not surprising that others may not wish to associate themselves with the individual until he changes his ways. But if he isn't harming himself or anyone else, there's no reason to deprive himself of experiencing happiness merely because certain people may not give their stamp of approval. But here's the thing: Happiness comes from inside of you. Others' approval ...

Know why people judge others? For starters, they seem to forget that they themselves are not perfect. They don't like others to judge them unfairly, and yet that's precisely what they're doing. They live each day under the false premise that they are somehow "better" than others, which entitles them to pass judgment on people they may not even know that well. In the absence of information, they can only go by what they see. So if the person casting a critical eye notices another wearing, say, a "tacky" sweater, they might assume the person is poor or lacks any fashion sense. In the worst cases, they might go a step further and speculate that the person has a lousy love life. As I've noted before, some people try to compensate for their own perceived shortcomings by focusing on those they "detect" in others. In fact, they may even attribute their own flaws and weaknesses to other people -- a defense mechanism known as projection. I...

Never allow anyone to invalidate or minimize how you feel. If you feel something, those feelings are real to you and ought to be respected. No one else can know exactly how you feel because no other person has been in your very shoes! No one else lives in your body. No one else sees life through your eyes. No one has the same interests, fears, quirks, and goals. No one shares your personality. No one has lived through the same experiences you have. That's why no one has the power to dictate or judge what you feel. Your feelings matter; never should they be dismissed or mocked. You deserve to be heard because your feelings are inherently valid. Don't allow anyone to make you believe otherwise! People are entitled to their own opinions, but not to their own facts. Though they may offer well-intentioned advice, they don't get to decide whether your feelings are justified in a given situation -- no matter how much life experience/wisdom they may claim to have. No tw...

I came across the following quote earlier this week while browsing the web: "What people think of you is none of your business." When I started to analyze the quote more carefully, I realized that there's a lot of truth to it. Sure, we all want to know what others think of us so that we can manage our reputation accordingly, including dispelling any misconceptions they may have about us. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you should change anything about yourself based on information you dig up. Regardless of what they think of you, if you're happy with yourself, that's all that matters . If you're not entirely happy with yourself and think they have a point -- whether it's that you should talk more during meetings or not talk over people in conversation  -- there's no harm in working to improve yourself in those areas. I want people to regard me as an intelligent man, so if I were to discover that they think otherwise, would I take o...