It's inevitable: Sooner or later, the intense passion that characterized the beginning of the relationship will start to dwindle.  Little things you once thought cute about your significant become a source of annoyance. The end of the so-called honeymoon phase ushers in reality, when both people's flaws are in full view and you actually have to put in effort to sustain your partnership. Gone are the days when love notes and makeout sessions had you on cloud nine and little else mattered. Once couples have to reckon with this natural phase of an aging relationship, some -- especially those who have been together a long time -- quickly panic, taking this to mean the relationship is on its last legs.  But this isn't always the case.  A relationship is only as strong as the effort BOTH partners put into it. This means that, yes, a 10-year-old relationship could actually be healthier than a 10-month-old one.  So what exactly is the secret sauce to keeping a relationship e...

We all have dreams that may seem like a longshot to other people, whether it be starting a business, publishing a book, or traveling the world. But should others' opinions really get in the way of our hopes and aspirations? Absolutely not! When people doubt you and go as far as to say you won't achieve something, take the utmost pleasure in trying to prove them wrong. Don't allow their skepticism to make you question your abilities; instead, let it fuel your passion and drive even further. As long as we believe in ourselves, work tirelessly, and continue to fight for what we want despite the odds being stacked against us, we have a shot. In life, we won't really know unless we try. And even if it turns out that we come up a bit short, it doesn't mean we've failed. It just means life has different -- and better -- plans in store. There will always be those who dismiss our plans as mere pipe dreams. Don't listen to these folks, for they're li...

They say variety is the spice of life. But it's also the spice of relationships. Infusing variety into your relationship keeps it fresh and exciting. Remember the so-called honeymoon stage? You know, the one where you and your partner were getting to know each other and every date seemed like a new adventure? Neither of you had to put much effort into the relationship, your hormones were raging, and any flaws were as yet undiscovered. It's as if you were floating on cloud nine. However, as time passed, the intense passion gave way to a calmer, more mature phase where you weren't all about jumping each other's bones. You grew accustomed to and comfortable around one another. Your foibles were put on your display and your relationship was tested in a number of ways. If you managed to weather such storms and opted to stay together in spite of all the negative qualities about each other that came to light, there's no question that the two of you share a deep...

As the late great British novelist C.S. Lewis once said, " You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream." I totally concur. Whether you want to switch careers at 40, make new friends at 50, or travel the world at 60, your age should not hinder you from striving to achieve goals big and small. I've read success stories about senior citizens starting new businesses, skydiving, finding love, and achieving other impressive feats. We can't assume that they didn't at least try to accomplish these things earlier in life. Maybe it just wasn't in the cards for them at that juncture, or it took a few repeated attempts before things worked out. These individuals inspire younger generations to pursue their passions at full throttle. Their remarkable achievements send a clear message: That it's better late than never. Just because you can't achieve something, say, in your 30s, doesn't mean you can't achieve it later in life. ...

"Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have is this. When I have a subject in mind, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind becomes pervaded with it... the effort which I have made is what people are pleased to call the fruit of genius. It is the fruit of labor and thought."  Can you guess the source of this quote? These words come from Alexander Hamilton (1757-1804), the first treasury secretary of the U.S. under George Washington and the architect of the nation's financial system. Hamilton, who sang the praises of a strong central government, was a brilliant theorist and prodigious writer. He, along with James Madison and John Jay, wrote The Federalist Papers, which pushed for ratification of the U.S. Constitution. He championed the establishment of the First Bank of the United States and led the Federalist Party, the first political party to rise to power in the United States. It's no surprise that Hamilton's story b...

Look in the mirror and you'll see the person ultimately responsible for your happiness -- yourself . It's a shame that so many people I talk to are quick to mention other people when asked what exerts the biggest influence on their happiness. Yes, some people bring us great joy -- our parents, spouse, children, closest friends -- but they should not bear the responsibility of making you happy all the time. Parents grow old, our spouses have their own issues to worry about, our children grow up eventually, and our friends can always drift away from us. No one has your best interests at heart more than yourself. No one confides in you more than yourself. No one experiences the highs and lows in your life like you do. Happiness shouldn't depend on how people treat you or what they think of you. In fact, in my view, you can't love others unless and until you love yourself first. We all want to feel loved and accepted by others. Great social relationships, in and...

Ever notice that after a while, you get tired of the same things -- whether foods, TV shows, work responsibilities, or -- dare I say it -- people? Several people have asked me why this happens, so I thought it apropos to create a post that addresses this phenomenon. The more we're exposed to a given stimulus, the less satisfaction we derive from it over time. In psychology and economics, this is known as the law of diminishing marginal utility.  Here's the definition provided by BusinessDictionary.com: "The law of diminishing marginal utility is a psychological generalization that the perceived value of, or satisfaction gained from, a good to a consumer declines with each additional unit consumed or acquired." In other words, you can only eat so many Big Macs or watch the same movie so many times before you become completely sick -- which is termed disutility.  In advertising, wearout is defined as the declining effectiveness of a commercial or campaign ...

There are certain qualities we value in people, so much so that they inspire us to be more like these individuals. Here are the attributes that I most revere in people I truly respect and admire: Intelligence : People who can not only debate me on a substantive topic, but teach me something new along the way. They're intellectually curious, articulate, and well-read.  Hard work : I respect someone who's willing to give it their all in order to achieve a goal. Perseverance:  They get knocked down, but they get up again. They don't allow challenges or problems, however big or small, to derail their dreams. Passion:  They eat, drink, and sleep music, writing, business, cooking, or whatever it is they love. They're constantly trying to learn more, whether by reading books, watching YouTube videos, or asking others.  Unyielding : No matter how many times their friends or relatives might advise them to invest their energies in something that will be...

It can be so tempting to give up on our goals and dreams. We become frustrated when we're slow to make progress. Well-meaning friends and family try to pull us in a different direction. We hit forks in the road that paralyze us into a state of inaction. We lose complete hope. Setting goals starts with the realization that you will face various challenges -- that's a given. Second, and this goes without saying, having a defeatist attitude -- whether right out of the gate or when you're closer to achieving said goal -- will make it all but impossible to attain success. A defeatist attitude yields defeatist results. If you were to ask people what the most essential factor in achieving one's goals is, what do you think they'd say? While hard work and passion play an important role, even more pivotal is perseverance.  You can have all the drive in the world, but if you fall apart at the first sign of a challenge, you will not succeed. Don't give up!  Don...

I know several people who have 9 to 5 jobs but still do things on the side that they get paid for. For example, my friend Vicky bakes cakes for a few extra bucks, and my friend John supplements his income by fixing computers. What I wonder is if they enjoy doing these things so much that they'd do them for free. In my case, my true passion is writing. I manage this blog on the side to augment my salary as a full-time copywriter. I don't earn much from the ads, but it's something. I love writing so much that I would do it for free if I had to. In fact, I have written content for several websites in the past and not gotten a single cent for it. People who are willing to do something for free probably consider it a hobby or passion of theirs. If they can get paid for it, then that's icing on the cake. I'm fortunate in that my favorite pastime, writing, also happens to be my trade. I can understand why people might be unwilling to do the work for free, thoug...

Whether you work in nursing, finance, or teaching, expecting your job to bring you fulfillment isn't always the best way to go about it. Read on to learn why you should instead strive to start a business of your own or cultivate hobbies outside of work. Expecting your job to fill a void in your life is a surefire prescription for trouble. Why?  From tyrannical bosses and untrustworthy co-workers to red tape that utterly stifles creativity, there’s simply too much going on at our jobs that is beyond our control . And when there’s too much beyond your control, it’s hard to fulfill your goals and make as big an impact as you desire. This is precisely what prompts many of us to hop from one job to another in search of conditions that are better aligned with our goals. Still, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I currently work as a writer in the travel industry. (That’s my day job;  I also write articles for websites and maintain this blog.) You would think I’d h...

It's an interesting question. Do you like what you do enough that you would still do it even if you weren't being paid for the work? I'd venture to say that people in creative professions like writing (yours truly), graphic design, music, acting, and so on would say yes, as would those who work in charitable organizations devoted to a cause about which they're passionate. On the other hand, people who view their jobs as a mere paycheck are probably less apt to think this way. They're the ones already eying the clock at 4:50 and bolting out the door at 4:59. I'm one of the lucky few whose favorite hobbies (reading, writing, editing, proofing) coincide with his job responsibilities. I'm a copywriter/editor by day and a freelance writer at night. My true passion, though, is this blog, as it allows me to express myself myself freely -- with no politics or overbearing boss to get in my way. It isn't so much the work, company, or industry itself that...

As we get older, life can become rather routine and mundane. We all know this. We get up, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, get dressed, drive to work, spend eight or so hours in a cubicle, drive back home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to sleep, and do the same thing the next day. Rinse and repeat.  Lucky for us, there's at least one thing about which we're passionate, which makes life a whole lot more tolerable.  Passion gets us out of bed in the morning. It's like a great shot of adrenaline. It drives us to achieve something. It prompts us to push our limits.  As Oprah once said: "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." As I've noted in other posts, my passions lie in: Writing Reading Learning (especially about psychology and history) Animal welfare Helping the less fortunate Some of us are lucky enough to do what we're passionate about for a living. For example, you may love animals and wor...

Happy Friday, y'all!  I wanted to get everyone's day off to a good start with the quote below. What does it mean to you? "The starting point of all achievement is desire." - Napoleon Hill To me, this quote is awfully simple. Hill is saying that you can't be successful in life unless you're truly passionate about whatever it is you decide to venture into, whether for work or leisure. This is precisely why I advise people against going into a field solely on the basis of money. Yes, making good coin is important, but money holds your interest only up to a certain point. If you're not intensely passionate about your work, you'll feel as though you're merely spinning your wheels for a paycheck. But this applies to everything from starting a business and losing weight to buying the right house and jumping out of an airplane. We all have goals we want to accomplish, some more arduous than others. Desire is the fuel that keeps us going in the fa...

This answer will differ depending on who you ask. People have varying sex drives that are affected by everything from one's energy and stress levels to other responsibilities in our lives, including work, chores, and children. We've all heard stories where one person in the relationship wants sex much more frequently than the other, causing an imbalance that eventually incites feelings of resentment in the former. How often a couple has sex depends largely on where it is put on their priority list. I think those who make a concerted effort to have sex, say, once or twice a week, can carve out a few minutes weekly to do so. But sometimes life gets in the way of even the most carefully laid-out plans, and couples have no choice but to leave it for another day. I think sex isn't the most important facet of a marriage or relationship. After all, as we get older, our relationship or marriage becomes less about passionate sex and more about companionship. Still, sex mat...

Today's quote comes from Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), who served as the 26th President of the United States. Not only was he an accomplished politician, but also a staunch conservationist, historian, and author. Most people may know that it was this venerable Rough Rider who uttered the famous line, "Speak softly and carry a big stick." Here's a quote that's not as well known but, in my view, equally resonant: "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." - Theodore Roosevelt  The exuberant Roosevelt not only published three books in his lifetime, but was an avid reader of history, poetry, and other subjects about which he was passionate. As I've noted in prior posts, I myself am passionate about writing and reading, just as Roosevelt was. When I sit down and put words down on paper, the hours just fly by. I feel completely in my element. I know that writing is my calling, and there'...

People will serve up all kinds of excuses for why they decide to cheat, among them: The passion in the relationship/marriage is gone Lack of an emotional connection One partner works too much or is always away on business Lack of sex Lack of excitement and spontaneity An inextinguishable attraction for someone else drove them to cheat The lover is providing something the cheater is currently lacking (money, affection, etc.) "It just happened" "I needed a break from marriage and kids" It sickens me that so many people try to get away with being unfaithful. Those who want the cake and want to eat it too -- having a relationship or affair on the side while pretending everything with his or her partner is hunky-dory -- are downright selfish and despicable in my book.   Both men and women do this, even though statistics show it's men who generally cheat more. Even if the person's modus operandi is to keep the cheating under wraps for fear of get...

And no, a strong sex drive and big muscles didn't quite make the cut. I know there are several contenders for the top 2 spots, but I would say the two qualities women desire most in men are honesty and self-confidence. I thought about sense of humor, but not every single woman necessarily seeks a man who can make her laugh. That would probably occupy 4th or 5th place on the list. However, every woman I've talked to says a man HAS to be sincere -- no ifs or buts about it. If she can't trust the guy, there's no way that a relationship could ever be possible with that person. With stories of infidelity dominating the tabloids and the divorce rate skyrocketing, it's no wonder that women are on high alert. Then there's self-confidence. Women desire men who are sure of themselves. Now, they don't have to be self-confident when it comes to every itty bitty thing they do (no one's perfect), but they should show passion and a drive to excel at something, wh...