Do you get multiple requests from people daily, whether from coworkers or friends? Does it necessitate dropping what you're doing and tending to their needs? Do you find yourself unable to keep up with such demands? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, read on for some important tips that may very well turn your life around for the better. How you probably got here   I can venture a guess as to what's keeping you locked in this vicious cycle: You find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to say NO.  Let's face it: The vast majority of us are kind-hearted folks with an inclination to help others. The problem is that the more we say YES, the more people will come to expect it. This, in turn, creates fertile ground for being taken advantage of.  So what exactly does being taken advantage of mean? Well, it signals that your wants, needs, and feelings are being entirely ignored in service of pleasing someone else. Your time doesn't matter. Any poten...

Your life is good. You have a loving partner, great home, wonderful kids, and decent-paying job. You're in good health, and your finances in order. But something always feels missing -- a void you can never quite seem to fill. And this makes for a life you perceive as not entirely fulfilling.  It may very well be that you have what I like to call Bigger Better Syndrome, or BBS. As you can probably guess, it means always being on the hunt for something bigger or better.  That could be the latest iPhone, a new car every year, or a different job. Maybe you just had a kid and are already thinking of the next one, or the condo you purchased recently is no longer cutting it.  You see the grass as always potentially greener on the other side. You become deeply invested in something, but once you acquire or succeed at it, you're on to your next conquest. It's as if you live more in the future than in the present.  Just why do we do this? Seeking others' approval Keeping up w...

Have you ever depended on someone -- maybe a little too much -- to fill your day with happiness? I think most of us can concede that we've been there.  Whether we're talking about our closest friends, relatives, or our partner, there's no doubt that these individuals greatly enhance our lives.  But a distinction needs to be made between "enhancing" and "completing." When someone serves as an enhancement, they add to an already enriching life. They're icing on the cake, if you will. However, when we lean on the individual in order to feel complete, it suggests something was missing to begin with and we're looking to them to fill the void. This is problematic in more ways than one. Ask yourself these point-blank questions: 1. What if they were to betray you? 2. What if they were to move and forget about you? 3. What if they were to cheat? 4. What if they were to lose interest in the relationship entirely? 5. What if they were to pass away? I'm ...

Experiencing something -- the savory taste of a pepperoni pizza, the sound of gentle waves lapping sugary white sand -- can be an utter delight to the senses.  But according to studies, the experience actually pales in comparison to the anticipation of that experience.  Here are just a few examples: 1. Planning and looking forward to a vacation vs. actually being there. 2. Planning to buy clothes, a car, or other items compared to consuming them.  3. Picturing yourself eating a hearty meal (especially on an empty stomach and/or while watching a restaurant ad) vs actually eating it.  Dopamine, commonly considered the happiness or "feel good" chemical, is more involved in the anticipation of an event or feeling than in the actual feeling of happiness. Often, the experience falls short of what we imagined, whether because it rains on the trip, the food leaves us with gas, or we get buyers' remorse for something we later discover we could have bought elsewhere for much c...

Who ever thought that this, of all things, would be so integral to a more fulfilling life? I speak of gratitude -- making the most of what one has rather than yearning for the best and most of everything.  And gratitude boils down to perspective, one's way of seeing the world.  Some people see an old plate and others see the very thing that holds the nutritious food they're blessed to have. Some people see a rickety car and someone else sees the very thing that keeps them from having to take to the bus or walk long distances, sometimes into sketchy neighborhoods. Some people see a cramped apartment they can't wait to flee from while others see a roof over their heads -- a home where they can spend time and create memories with family. Here are just a few of the ways society prevents us from experiencing true happiness: By telling us to buy the next best and biggest thing, even if we're happy with the one we have -- whether it's a phone, car, or house  By persuading...

With the country -- check that, the world really -- on lockdown, many of us find ourselves with some extra time on our hands to contemplate life and weigh decisions that can have a huge impact on our future, whether personal or professional. Many people who lead busy lives welcome the change of pace, even though having to balance work and childcare at home can be awfully challenging for some. Life will go back to being what it used to be. It won't be long before we're once again stuck in traffic, jostling through lines of shoppers at the local Publix or Macy's, and exhorting unruly teenagers at the theater to quit making noise during the movie. That means it's going to take a conscious effort to hit "pause" and take a deep breath once in a while, as was the case pre-pandemic. Here's a suggestion for doing just that: Assuming you have one, just stop what you're doing and look at your pet or baby. Indeed, they teach us that we can be find h...

Whether your idea of excitement is jumping off an airplane, cooking up exotic dishes, playing music in a band, or merely staying at home reading a gripping book, you should do whatever lights up your soul. Life is too short to set our passions aside for a rainy day. Do them today. Do them now! Focusing on those things we love to do not only makes us happier, it keeps us from dwelling on the negative. Believe it or not, directing one's attention to something positive (e.g., a funny meme or an inspiring video) over the course of the day can make the difference between a decent day and an abysmal one. Distractions can be our friends. Those who insist they don't have the time to cultivate their passions are just making excuses for themselves. We can all squeeze in a little time for hobbies, even if only a few minutes each week. We all have our problems and worries, and, as much as we'd like to, we can't just sweep them under the rug. Still, we can't allow th...

Want to be happier in your life? Here's a strategy for achieving it: Strive to achieve balance . You might be asking, "Balance what, exactly?" Good question. Happy people strike a healthy balance between setting goals and appreciating what they already possess or have achieved.  Look, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious. Some of us already have the next goal in mind even before we've achieved the present one. Whether we aim to lose weight, start a business, get a master's degree, or climb Mount Everest, setting goals keeps us motivated. Many people feel that if they have no goals in mind, they're just settling, thereby inhibiting their own growth. But it's important not to lose sight of how far you've come. Unfortunately, some individuals are never content. They view everything (and everyone) in their lives as disposable, and they find themselves unable satiate their hunger for a more challenging job, a bigger house, a prettie...

This morning, I was saddened to read about the death of a man, Lenny B. Robinson, who would dress up as Batman to cheer up kids with life-threatening illnesses in various Maryland hospitals. He drove around in a Batmobile (among the many cars he owned was a black Lamborghini sporting the Batman symbol) and spent thousands of dollars on his costume and memorabilia. Now, he is being mourned by family and fans around the world as a real-life hero. I came across a comment to the article that included this quote: "What you do for yourself dies with you. What you do for others lives on." It reminds me of a line uttered by Katie Holmes' character in, ironically enough, "Batman Begins," starring Christian Bale: "It's not what you are underneath -- it's what you do that defines you."   These kinds of quotes stand in contrast to the feel-good ones we hear that center around being happy with yourself, not caring what others think of you, and so ...