Why relying on people to be happy is dangerous

Have you ever depended on someone -- maybe a little too much -- to fill your day with happiness? I think most of us can concede that we've been there.

Whether we're talking about our closest friends, relatives, or our partner, there's no doubt that these individuals greatly enhance our lives.

But a distinction needs to be made between "enhancing" and "completing."

When someone serves as an enhancement, they add to an already enriching life. They're icing on the cake, if you will.

However, when we lean on the individual in order to feel complete, it suggests something was missing to begin with and we're looking to them to fill the void.

This is problematic in more ways than one.

Ask yourself these point-blank questions:

1. What if they were to betray you?

2. What if they were to move and forget about you?

3. What if they were to cheat?

4. What if they were to lose interest in the relationship entirely?

5. What if they were to pass away?

I'm not trying to be cynical here; I'm just being realistic. People come into and exit our lives for any number of reasons. While we can't help but become emotionally attached, making someone the center of your world is putting immense pressure on them. It isn't fair to them or to yourself.

As I've stressed in so many posts -- and this is probably the point I've driven home more than any other -- happiness stems from only one place: inside of you!

Happiness is an amalgamation of myriad factors, and our relationships are just one of them. Also factored into the equation are gratitude, hobbies, passions, pets, and our general outlook on life.

While it's nice to get likes and smiling emojis in response to your posts, the most important thing is how that content makes you feel.

Do things because they make you feel proud, enriched, and accomplished, whether it's eating at a nice restaurant, purchasing a new car, vacationing in the Caribbean, or donating to a local charity. Someone else's stamp of approval is nice, but your satisfaction should never be contigent upon it.

If you depend on pats on the back from others to feel satisfied with your life, you're setting yourself up for utter disillusionment. If you expect for people to act or think as you would, you may very well end up miserable. Before you know it, your self-esteem has hit rock bottom and feelings of depression loom on the horizon.

Again, there's nothing wrong with being lauded by others for our accomplishments.

But such praise should be regarded as secondary to how we feel about them ourselves. Because if we're not content with and within ourselves, other people are not going to change that.

Seek nobody's approval but your own. At the end of the day, others can sympathize with you, cheer you on, provide valuable advice, and so forth. But they can't step in your very shoes. You can't bank on them always being there for you, or never leaving/changing.

In sum, you're your single biggest ally in the battlefield of life. So believe in and love yourself! Look deep within and you'll find the sense of fulfillment you crave.

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

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How To Understand People

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