Some people don't appreciate all the things you do for them until you cease doing them at all. They end up learning the hard way that they didn't know what they had until it vanished from their life. And, by then, it's probably too late. No one wishes to be taken for granted. Yet, many people don't live their life by the motto, "Treat others as you would want to be treated." Some people just grow accustomed to others' nice gestures -- whether it's getting a call from them every week or a surprise visit every month -- and it doesn't occur to them that maybe they should return the favor every now and then. Relationships aren't just about giving, but receiving as well. They take turns scratching ones another's backs. One person should not be carrying the load on their own, contributing a disproportionate amount of time and energy. You should never feel embarrassed to address how you feel you're efforts aren't acknowledged...

When giving someone your all isn't sufficient in the relationship, you're with the wrong person. Whether your efforts fall short in their view because he or she is that hard to please (e.g., she doesn't feel you buy her enough stuff) or he fails to recognize your varied contributions (e.g., chores, emotional support, and so on), being with such an individual can be draining, if not demoralizing. What's frustrating is that the person may never come to appreciate all the time, energy, sweat, and tears we've invested into the relationship. When you arrive at this juncture, one really has to ask whether trying to salvage the relationship is even worth it anymore. Broaching the subject may or may not help. He or she may take offense to your claims and insist that they do value your efforts, even if their actions contradict their words. And even if it does help initially, the person may revert to their old habits once they sense all is fine and dandy again. ...

Nobody would argue that relationships are (or should be) about give and take. If one finds himself constantly giving but never receiving -- be it love, affection, emotional support -- it won't be long before he realizes things are badly lopsided, potentially prompting him to walk unless the other person begins to appreciate him more. That being said, many people argue that relationships should be 50/50, with each partner investing an equal amount of time and energy. But should it always be this way? While I think partners should certainly strive to contribute proportionally, it can't be this way ALL the time. If someone has had a bad day at work or isn't feeling well, it makes sense for one partner to be noticeably more giving for the time being. Then, when the other person suffers a similar fate, they, too, should receive the same treatment. Then there are those cases where both individuals suffer together (e.g., grieving the loss of a mutual friend) and act ...

How many people do you know who only appear when they're in some kind of a bind? Here are a few examples you can probably relate to: They broke up with their boyfriend, and now they're reaching out to you nearly every day. But while they were in their relationship, they acted as if you didn't matter. They had a falling out with a few friends, and now they've suddenly surfaced. However, when things were peachy with their buddies, you couldn't seem to get a hold of them. And how about those we only hear from when they need a favor? Whether it's that they need money or help moving, they seem to vanish off the face of the earth once they get what they need. What do the three scenarios above have in common? They describe users to a tee. If someone wants nothing to do with you when things are going well in their lives, that should make you question why they wish to maintain any kind of relationship. Perhaps they see you as convenient to have around bec...

What would you say is the best way to appreciate someone special in your life? It can be done with one simple mental exercise: Just imagine your life without that person. Maybe you picture them in the arms of another man or woman. Does it make you jealous or angry? Or you dream up a world in which the two of you never even met. Does it make you sad? If these scenarios induce feelings of jealousy, anger, or sadness, it's clear you care deeply for the person in question. If they don't, it raises serious questions about how invested you are emotionally. Between work, kids, chores, and other items on our interminably long To Do Lists, some of us may take our partner for granted without even realizing it. As a result, he or she may feel as if their needs aren't being met and their voice isn't being heard. The longer this goes on, the more likely the person is to become fed up and walk -- that is, unless both people have a serious heart-to-heart. Studies sho...

As we bid adieu to 2018 and welcome a new year, it's exciting to consider all the fresh, wonderful possibilities that await us. Whether you aim to lose weight, start a business, have a child with your partner, buy a new home, or simply read the slew of books collecting dust on your shelf, a new year affords us the opportunity to assess our goals and work toward them in earnest. And what better day to get cracking than on January 1? A new year means a clean slate -- a blank canvas waiting to be filled with your lines and splashes of color. While we're at it, why not make it into a masterpiece? Having a great year necessitates keeping oneself focused on the present . Resist the nagging urge to reflect on what you didn't accomplish or did wrong last year. Move on and focus solely on the ways you can make 2019 infinitely better than 2018. Aim for progress . Rather than comparing yourself to your peers, compare yourself to the person you were on December 31, 2017 and...

When someone treats you like you're just one of their many options, help them narrow their options by removing yourself from the equation. Whether the woman you're after tells you that five other guys are in the running for her affections or your friend claims to already have plans every time you propose hanging out with him, you can do so much better. You deserve better! People make time for those who matter to them. If you're always playing second fiddle to other people, it's plain to see where the person in question's loyalties lie. More importantly, you should ask yourself why you're even pining for someone who appears to be in such high demand. Is this person serious about building long-lasting relationships, or are they simply trying to stroke their ego by having several people vie for their time? In case no one has informed them, life isn't a popularity contest. Stringing people along is selfish and inconsiderate of others' time ...

People needn't search far and wide to find happiness, for it is found in the simplest of things. Unfortunately, many people equate happiness with money and material possessions. While such "stuff" can give us a boost, it is only temporary. When it's time for us to pass on, will we be thinking about all the money we've spent or have saved in our bank account? No. Our thoughts will center on the legacy we'll be leaving behind, on the wonderful moments spent with loved ones, on the little things that made this life well worth living. Happiness can be found: in love in friendship in a smile in a laugh in having good health in reading in knowledge and learning in music in gratitude  in a good meal or cup of coffee in a kept promise in an achieved goal in a fond memory in nature in silence in the comfort of one's room If people actually stopped to appreciate all the wonderful things that greatly enrich their lives, they would be fa...

Whether you're on a date or talking to a potential suitor online for the first time, the wrong person for you is the one who compels you to act in unnatural ways just so you can gain their approval. Here are a few examples of ways we may project a phony representation of ourselves: You try to be funnier or more sociable than you really are.  You're dishonest about your past relationships, dreams, goals, and the like. You force yourself to like sushi, Harry Potter movies, or the Yankees just to impress him or her, even though none interest you at all.  In other words, you try to become someone you're not -- all for the sake of making a favorable impression on the other person. But do you honestly want the person you end up with to feel drawn to the person they think you are -- or the person you really are? Why would you go such lengths for an individual who could walk away tomorrow? That's just putting the relationship on shaky ground from the get go....

Have you noticed how some people don't come to appreciate the things you do for them until you stop doing those things? Whether you pack your lunch for your husband every morning, bring in your neighbor's trash can every evening, or take care of your cousin's dog everytime she's away on business, many people grow accustomed to being pampered without asking if there's anything they can do for you. These individuals come to expect such special treatment as if it were the norm; they conveniently forget that you're doing them a favor and have no obligation to accommodate them indefinitely. Even worse, many will fail to express their gratitude at all -- until, of course, you call them out on it or cease lending a hand for good. Relationships should involve reciprocal generosity -- a balanced exchange of give and take. Each of you should take turns doing favors. If only one person in the relationship is a giver, sooner or later they will feel taken for grant...

If there's one thing that's certain about your life, it's that it isn't perfect . Don't fret. Neither is mine. Neither is anyone else's. And that's precisely the beauty of it all. Not having everything we want makes us appreciate what we have even more . Think about it: If we had everything we could possibly desire, wouldn't that make life, well, a tad boring? There's no such thing as the perfect job . There will always be something or someone at work that isn't to our liking. If our jobs were perfect, they'd be called a hobby. But in order to keep food on the table and a roof over our head, we have to make some concessions. There's no such thing as the perfect partner.   Just as we say "batteries included" for many of the items we buy, you can rest assured that your partner comes with "flaws included." There's no such thing as a perfect human being. We have no choice but to take the good with the bad if ...

Today makes another wonderful day to savor life -- in all its beauty. To smile. To laugh. To breathe the fresh air. To commute with nature. To frolic with those you love. Today brings a fresh opportunity to be grateful for the things we so often take for granted -- like having clean drinking water at our disposal and caring friends at the ready. Today invites you to throw yourself headlong into your passions, whether that be watching exhilarating sports, reading to your heart's content, or generously devoting your time to a local animal shelter. Today makes the perfect day to explore places you've never seen, speak to people you've never met, and raise questions you've never asked. Today is all about you. It's all about positive vibes, meaningful connections, and memorable experiences. Relish all the great things you'll enjoy today -- from the delicious slice of pizza during lunch to the conversation with your close friend over the phone. Always ...

Everyone likes a little pat on the back for a job well done -- whether from your boss for completing a report on deadline, your spouse for building that time-consuming playhouse for the kids, or your friend for helping organize their party. Sometimes, though, this form of positive reinforcement can be hard to come by. And even if you do fish for compliments or credit in a subtle way, you don't end up getting any. So what do you do in a situation like this? You keep working hard. No one will ever be prouder of your accomplishments than you. If you can't get others to acknowledge your efforts, there's no harm in taking pride in them yourself. If it gets to the point where you feel you're being taken for granted, have a talk with your boss, partner, or friend and let them know your hard work often goes overlooked. If that fails to bear any fruit, it may be time to assess whether the job, relationship, or friendship in question is really worth keeping. Once it...

Do you know what the most valuable thing you can give someone is? It's not money. It's not knowledge. It isn't even love or affection. No, the most precious gift you can give someone is your time.  Why? Because it's the only thing you can give someone that you won't ever get back.  The time you spend calling someone on the phone, writing them a letter, or paying them a visit is time that will never be returned to you in this lifetime. That's why we should always appreciate the time people take out of their busy schedules for us, just as they should be grateful for the time we carve out for them. There are only so many hours in a day. We should all aim to make as much time for the people who matter most to us while reserving some time for ourselves as well. Between work, family, household chores, and hobbies, free time is very hard to come by for many of us. But the more effort we put into managing our time, the less likely we...

Each day brings challenges, to be sure, but it also brings at least one reason to smile and cherish life. Maybe it's the mere fact that you're alive to see another day. Maybe it's your spouse, kids, friends, or pets. Perhaps it's your extensive book collection, side business, or the charities you're active in. Whenever I feel the urge to complain about something, I quickly try to cancel out that negative feeling by thinking about something I'm deeply appreciative for and passionate about. As bad as things get, there's always a silver living that can turn our frown into a smile -- however fleeting it may be.  Even if you've come across a string of bad days, if today is even slightly better than yesterday, that alone is a step in the right direction. For example, let's say you're on a diet and are aiming to drop 20 pounds. After a day or so of dieting, you weigh yourself and, to your dismay, you've actually gained a pound. You repeat t...

No matter how hard you try to make people happy, some of them will simply take you for granted. Many of these individuals will be oblivious to or fail to appreciate all you do for them. It's these kinds of people you should not keep in your life.  You don't want to associate yourself with people who only care you exist when they need something -- when it's convenient for them. They may consider themselves your friends, but they're anything but. True friends are not users, nor are they opportunists. Real friends are there for you through the thick and thin. They understand that the cornerstone of a strong friendship is giving with one hand and taking with the other. There is absolutely no place for selfishness, envy, or jealousy in a friendship or relationship. These all serve to undermine the trust and goodwill cultivated between two people. More importantly, never seek the company of people who demand that you change something about yourself. Who are they to dict...

Many people don't feel good about themselves unless other people make them feel that way. They need others' validation in order to be happy and maintain high levels of self-esteem. This is most unfortunate. You should seek no one's approval but your own. The second your happiness hinges on what others say and feel about you, you've given them complete power over you. Why would you do that? What good does having others love you when you don't love yourself first? The bottom line is that no but you knows your true worth. No one will know or appreciate your talents, quirks, and innermost feelings like you will. Thus, true happiness comes from within. It begins with you . Sure, it always feels good to receive compliments from other people. But let's be realistic, folks: Those heaping us with praise can turn their backs on us at any moment. Yes, we need to maintain some semblance of a social life in order to live as well-adjusted individuals. But that ...

It's a sobering reality that many people have come to associate Thanksgiving with shopping and Black Friday rather than regarding it as a day to halt the acquisition of more material possessions and give thanks for what they already have. The media, retailers, and consumers themselves are all to blame. I've lost count of the many news reports I've seen in which people begin to form lines outside of stores at the beginning of the week in anticipation of Black Friday. It's unfortunate that Black Friday has to be the day that immediately follows Thanksgiving. Why couldn't it have been, say, the Saturday after the holiday, or even the following weekend? It's utterly shameful that consumerism often overshadows the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Many people are more caught up with getting the best deals on computers and TVs than looking forward to spending time with friends and family. Let's not forget this: Unlike those whom we love, material goods can be ...