Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...

I've written various posts on the topic of friendship in recent weeks, and with good reason. Friendships constitute an integral part of our lives, and, let's be honest -- it doesn't get any easier to make new friends or attend to the ones we already have as we get older and busier. Still, with a little time and effort, we can continue to forge new friendships while maintaining existing ones. Here are two ways to help facilitate this: 1. Zero in on commonalities, but express interest in other aspects of the person's life as well.  If you're like me, you share different interests with different friends. Maybe you have a health-conscious buddy with whom you dine and hit the gym, a fellow sports-loving friend who accompanies you to ballgames, and a friend from high school whom you occasionally visit at home to catch up. Whether it's a friend who haven't spoken to in a while or someone you've just met who seems to have "friendship" potenti...

I've noticed that people generally good at practicing reciprocity -- the act of giving back the same treatment that someone has given you, whether it's good or bad. If you give someone a gift for his birthday, he'll likely give you one once your birthday rolls around. If you give him nothing, it's probably best not to expect anything in return. Very rarely do people give without first getting something themselves. More often that not, acts of kindness are rooted in those that came prior. It's a "you do, I do" dynamic. It's almost like playing tag. The same goes for negative behavior. If someone does something to upset you, your first instinct is to do the same to them. In reality, though, the best relationships are those where you do someone nice for someone else and expect nothing in return . They'll felt a sense of duty to return the favor, though, because we don't want to create the perception that we're unappreciative or taking...