Whether it's a love interest who's made you their "plan B" in case it doesn't work out with their first choice, or a friend who only calls you when plans with other people fall through, never allow yourself to be someone's backup. What a lousy position to be in!  The other person is essentially saying that you're not good enough to be their top pick. Well, here's the good news: You will always be good enough for someone else out there. You will be someone's first choice. And that's why it's imperative that you not rest on your laurels when someone places you on the back burner. By doing so, you risk missing out on opportunities to meet or be with people who genuinely value your time and the ways you enhance their lives. Rather than pine for someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day, you should gravitate toward people who feel that investing time in you is well worth it. If people don't choose you, tough luck. ...

My wife and I have been friends with Dan since high school. When she and I hooked up in 2005, it seemed only natural to invite him along on many of our outings. He was single at the time and remained so until just this year. I figure that my wife and I spared Dan plenty of Friday and Saturday nights by himself. Even though being the third wheel isn't always fun, it sure beats not having anyone to interact with, right? Dan finally entered into a relationship about 3 months ago, and it's as though he has fallen off the map completely. He's hardly active on Facebook and doesn't deign to call or text me, even occasionally. The Dan from before is no longer. I'm trying not to take it personally and reason that maybe he'll come around again once the honeymoon stage he and his new girlfriend are in tapers off. To be frank, I feel a little cheated -- almost as if he's stolen something from me. What that something is I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe i...

If you're like me and practically everyone else out there, you have at least one convenience friendship. I've given the name "convenience friendships" to those in which one or both people are in them for their own convenience. Now, some friendships don't start off as convenience friendships, but time, distance, and shifting priorities water them down to the point that both individuals may no longer identify with each other. We all have that "friend" who calls when she wants a favor, but seems to vanish into thin air when she herself is needed. Some people like keeping certain friendships alive for the sole purpose of getting a ride or loan when the situation calls for it. It's these kinds of people we must steer clear from! Why be in a friendship with someone who manipulates you for their personal gain? Even if you were once great friends, it's not worth it to keep the person around on hopes she will morph back to the person she was bef...