What would you say is the most clear-cut predictor of how someone will behave in the future? If you said "past behavior," you've hit the nail on the head.  Sure, people can surprise us by radically deviating from prior behavior, but this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. For example, if your friend routinely exhibits a noticeable aversion toward silly comedies, chances are he will continue to loathe such movies. If your sister displays an acute dislike of seafood, she's bound to avoid lobster, crab, and all manner of sea creatures for the foreseeable future. When it's hard to decode a person's true intentions, you have only two tools you can leverage: your gut and, you guessed it, the person's track record. If you lure someone away from a competing firm to come work for you, rest assured they can be coaxed into bolting from yours. If someone cheats on their spouse with you, who's to say they won't cheat on you with som...

With the country -- check that, the world really -- on lockdown, many of us find ourselves with some extra time on our hands to contemplate life and weigh decisions that can have a huge impact on our future, whether personal or professional. Many people who lead busy lives welcome the change of pace, even though having to balance work and childcare at home can be awfully challenging for some. Life will go back to being what it used to be. It won't be long before we're once again stuck in traffic, jostling through lines of shoppers at the local Publix or Macy's, and exhorting unruly teenagers at the theater to quit making noise during the movie. That means it's going to take a conscious effort to hit "pause" and take a deep breath once in a while, as was the case pre-pandemic. Here's a suggestion for doing just that: Assuming you have one, just stop what you're doing and look at your pet or baby. Indeed, they teach us that we can be find h...

When giving someone your all isn't sufficient in the relationship, you're with the wrong person. Whether your efforts fall short in their view because he or she is that hard to please (e.g., she doesn't feel you buy her enough stuff) or he fails to recognize your varied contributions (e.g., chores, emotional support, and so on), being with such an individual can be draining, if not demoralizing. What's frustrating is that the person may never come to appreciate all the time, energy, sweat, and tears we've invested into the relationship. When you arrive at this juncture, one really has to ask whether trying to salvage the relationship is even worth it anymore. Broaching the subject may or may not help. He or she may take offense to your claims and insist that they do value your efforts, even if their actions contradict their words. And even if it does help initially, the person may revert to their old habits once they sense all is fine and dandy again. ...

It's a real shame that people take issue with others loving themselves and being comfortable in their own skin, but that's the sad reality. Why would they have a problem with it, you ask? Well, if the person is markedly different than them in some way -- say, they don't drink or they embrace a minimalist lifestyle -- it could trigger unsettling insecurities. Some individuals don't like the thought of others asserting their individuality because it makes them feel unsure of their own habits, values. and predilections. That in turn may prompt them to try to change the more unique individual into someone that more closely resembles themselves. They'll goad them to have a drink, or to go out and fork over gobs of money on clothes. How should you handle these people? It's quite simple. If they can't handle you at your most authentic, then it's their problem. Under no circumstances should you give in to their desire to change you to fit their...

Do you embrace your uniqueness? Do you like the fact that you have quirks, talents, and convictions that set you apart from your peers? Do you take pride in the fact that there can never be another you ? If so, the last thing you should allow is for other people to change you. I mean, really...who are they to dictate how you should think and act? Are you not a grown adult capable of making your own decisions? As I've stressed in several other posts, people will try to goad you into changing for a variety of reasons: There's something about you that's a little different, and that makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure. They subscribe to the herd mentality, believing everyone in their immediate circle should share exactly the same beliefs, habits, goals, etc. They secretly envy you: Rather than celebrate your good qualities, they'd rather see you lose them; instead of cheering your successes, they take delight in your failures.  Indeed, certain people we...

Trying to change a person is an exercise in futility. We all come with a set of inherent traits and habits that can be very difficult to shake off -- and that's if we care to in the first place! As much as you might want someone to become, say, more of a sports fan or less of a slob, if they're not genuinely interested in changing, they won't take the necessary steps to do so -- even if their words say otherwise. And once someone has made it clear that they don't want to change, people should back off and respect their wishes. Let's not forget something: Generally, the more we sense someone is trying to change our ways, the more resistant we'll be to their efforts. In fact, we're likely to double down on whatever it is that those people take exception with. Examples in which this phenomenon plays out include: The rebellious teenager who wishes to rebel against her parents The recent high school graduate who wants to attend any college other...

With the divorce rate still between 40 and 50 percent in the United States, it's plain to see that many people end up in the wrong relationships with the wrong partners. Below is just a sampling of reasons why relationships may ultimately fail. 1. Both people hold different values, whether religious or otherwise 2. Both people come with disparate views on marriage and/or having children 3. They don't share the same hobbies/interests 4. Their personalities don't mesh well (one is a bookworm while the other loves to party) 5. One or both are irresponsible with money, chores, or other duties 6. One or both are unable to remain faithful 7. The romance dies out completely because one or both become complacent 8. Children strain the marriage irreparably Some of these things aren't easy to predict early into the relationship. But once we've been with someone for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, we can get a sense of views or habits that may not necessa...