I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...

It sounds counterintuitive, right? As we approach Thanksgiving, we aim to be thankful for the wonderful folks in our lives The ones who are there for us when we need them. The ones who lift us when we hit rock bottom emotionally. So you might be wondering why in the world I'm suggesting we should be grateful for the naysayers, the toxic folks, the unredeemable narcissists.  Well, if we didn't have people like this in our lives, we would never come to appreciate those who embody the exact opposite qualities -- decency, respect, humility, and integrity, among others. That isn't to say that you should keep these folks in your life unnecessarily. Sometimes we need to put up with them for a job (the tyrannical boss) or for someone else's sake (the meddling in-laws).  But when someone is that unpleasant, it's easy to draw a contrast between them and the individuals you've come to respect and admire, e.g., sweet Sue in human resources or your boyfriend's caring cou...

No one is "too busy" for you, at least not all the time. Those who say that are being dishonest. Sure, they may be too busy to call back or respond to your text today, tomorrow, or even this whole week. But to go several weeks -- if not months -- without getting back to you is just, well, too much for anyone to have to stomach. Even if someone is going through a rough patch in their life, a quick note to say as much -- and that they will touch base once the situation improves -- will more than suffice. Being left hanging isn't what someone who values you does. If anything, it demonstrates the exact opposite: indifference. People prioritize the things and people that matter to them. Such a situation is made all the more demoralizing when you recognize that you yourself make a conscious effort to respond to others even when you're down in the dumps. But as I've noted time and again, you can't expect people to behave exactly as you would or care a...

Do you find yourself in a troublesome relationship? Have you had just about enough of your partner's BS? No matter the circumstances, take heart from this: Many people out there are going through the exact same thing. Maybe you caught your boyfriend cheating and found it in your heart to give him a second chance, though you continually question the wisdom of your decision. Maybe your wife's reckless spending habits have put a major dent in your finances. Or, perhaps your husband doesn't invest nearly as much time or energy as you do, leaving you feeling as though you're carrying the relationship on your shoulders. A relationship is essentially a partnership that two people -- not one -- strive to keep strong and vibrant. One where both individuals' voices are heard and concerns are addressed. I'm a strong proponent of couples doing all they can to make it work, even if it entails enlisting the help of a counselor. If they're genuinely inter...

The dating world has left many men utterly disillusioned. Despite the fact that they seem to be doing everything right -- they have a good job, drive a nice car, and look their very best -- they continue to strike out with woman after woman. They perceive landing dates as being much more arduous for them than it is for the women they're after, who seem to reject potential suitors at will.  But is dating really an uphill climb for all men and a breezy walk in the park for all the ladies? I feel this view is a tad simplistic. If approaching this subject in the context of traditional gender roles -- where the man is the pursuer and is thereby forced to risk rejection -- it may seem like women are always in the driver's seat. After all, women get far more hits on dating apps/sites like Tinder, right? But this presupposes that women enjoy all the attention they're getting, and that just isn't the case. For one, women don't find all the men reach...

Isn't it terrible when someone you care about takes you for granted? It could be a partner, a friend, or even a relative who: Turns to you only when they need something Leaves you in the lurch when you're in a rough patch yourself Insists they will change, but they never do Seems to prioritize everyone in his or her life except you No matter how often you convey that you feel angry, hurt, and taken advantage of, they carry on with the behavior, assuming that you're going to stick around. Their reasoning is: If you haven't left already, why would you now? This is precisely the kind of mindset that causes so many relationships to go under. Some people expect the other person to do all the work, thinking that alone will sustain the relationship. Or, they may do a little here and there, but never commit themselves to the degree the other person is. Sooner or later, the person being taken for a ride gives up and moves on. In certain cases, the other in...

Hate doing the laundry? Detest washing the dishes? Do you often put off taking the dog for a walk because you'd rather be cozy in bed watching Law and Order reruns? We've all been there. When it comes to chores and other stuff on our To Do Lists that we loathe doing, we may find ourselves procrastinating -- so much so that we may come home to find the electricity has been shut off due to unpaid bills, we barely have any clean clothes to wear, or the leak we left unattended for weeks now poses a flood risk. While we may never actually grow to like these tasks, here's a valuable tip for helping you carry them out quicker and make them more bearable: With task enhancement, you add a positive stimulus/distraction to the mix so as to give your mind something more enjoyable to focus on while you complete the task. For example, I hate doing exercise after work, but I remind myself that it goes a long way toward keeping the pounds off. If I didn't have my iPod wit...

Have you ever had a friend or partner who's made you feel replaceable? In other words, the other person may have a slew of friends or several people vying for their romantic affections, making you feel as though you're just a number on their list. This doesn't make us feel special or appreciated, no matter how many times -- and how emphatically -- they may claim to value us. We might crave more intimacy with this individual, but their tendency to hop from one person to another may create an emotional void. You might feel far more invested and committed because you have a smaller circle of people in your life. Perhaps you've done this deliberately in an effort to cut down on the drama and prioritize quality over quantity. It's saddening when people take us for granted because they know they have other options. Perhaps you've suggested a relaxing evening at home dining over a good movie, but someone else has suggested plans more to their liking. Ma...

Whether your idea of excitement is jumping off an airplane, cooking up exotic dishes, playing music in a band, or merely staying at home reading a gripping book, you should do whatever lights up your soul. Life is too short to set our passions aside for a rainy day. Do them today. Do them now! Focusing on those things we love to do not only makes us happier, it keeps us from dwelling on the negative. Believe it or not, directing one's attention to something positive (e.g., a funny meme or an inspiring video) over the course of the day can make the difference between a decent day and an abysmal one. Distractions can be our friends. Those who insist they don't have the time to cultivate their passions are just making excuses for themselves. We can all squeeze in a little time for hobbies, even if only a few minutes each week. We all have our problems and worries, and, as much as we'd like to, we can't just sweep them under the rug. Still, we can't allow th...

Sometimes you need to give up on people -- not because you don't care, but because they don't. Let's say you and your friend have drifted from each other over time. You assume (or hope) he or she has noticed it as well and you resolve to get things running smoothly again. If, after some time, you've done all you can to jolt some life into the relationship -- whether by inviting the person to dinner, texting them to wish their kid a Happy Birthday, or dropping by to help clean out their garage -- and they still show no interest, it could be because of the following: 1. They're expecting you to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship. 2. They don't value you like you do them. 3. They're going through something they may not wish to talk about. The only one of the three that is a valid excuse is #3, though they should at least tell you that much and not leave you hanging. We should all respect others' need for space, but unless we're...

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

I'm just about halfway into the 700+ page behemoth  Alexander Hamilton , which served as the inspiration for the hit Broadway musical. The author of the book, Ron Chernow, took the liberty of littering the book with a wide array of big words, many of which have prompted me to pull out my trusty dictionary. One such unfamiliar word that caught my attention was cynosure.  Cynosure stands for an object that serves as a focal point of attention and admiration. Hamilton, the first U.S. secretary of the treasury, captivated women with his good looks and charm. It's no surprise, then, that he built a reputation as something of a flirt, not missing an opportunity to strike up conversations with beautiful ladies at balls and banquets (all this despite being married). Even men found him arresting on account of his intelligence, boldness, and knack for conversation. In modern parlance, many would probably just employ "hunk" or "eye candy." Had you ever ...

I can't stand it when people try too hard  to be liked by others. It always leads me to think that they're desperate for others' approval, seeking validation for everything from their choice of partner to their hobbies. They can't enough likes on Facebook. They do anything for compliments and attention. Ugh! Why must people be so dependent on other people to be happy? Why does their approval wield such a powerful influence in their lives? Here's the truth: The more people yearn to be liked by those around them, the less happy they are with themselves. They figure that if they aren't getting pats on the back every so often, there must be something wrong with them. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Some people seek others' validation as a way of compensating for low self esteem, depression, or other negative outcomes. What they fail to understand is that such approval can end any day on short notice, and for whatever reason. Maybe ...

One mistake many people make is that they keep their talents a secret, whether they're natural talents or ones cultivated over time. The possible reasons for this are quite simple: They either don't want to feel as though they're showing off, they aim to avoid the spotlight, or they're afraid of messing up while others are watching. All of these are perfectly reasonable. The last thing I am is a show-off myself, and I am not a fan of drawing attention to myself in the least. That's why, when I possess a talent I would like people to know about, I casually show them on a one-to-one basis. For example, I type well over 100 words per minute. Two co-workers who sit near me got wind of it by hearing me type away at blazing speeds. (They didn't notice by actually watching me, as the cubicles are partitioned by walls.) Eventually, they each asked for an individual demonstration, and I was happy to provide it. It isn't like I typed more slowly or quietly...

Ladies, take note: If you want to keep your man happy, there's really one thing you have to do. No, it isn't to cook him food, although that'd certainly be a plus in our book. It's merely to make him feel loved. Men like to feel needed. They like to feel useful. The worst feeling in the world is being in a relationship with someone who acts like they couldn't care less if it ended tomorrow. Before I got with my now-wife, I dated a few women who were standoffish, and, frankly, emotionally distant. Unsurprisingly, those wound up being flings rather than long-lasting relationships. It's as simple as that. All it takes to keep a man happy is to make him feel desired. Men, of course, should do their part to make their partner feel loved as well. If attention and affection aren't being dispensed equally, it could lead to serious problems down the road. Do you agree? Have you found this to be the case in your relationship(s)?

I've seen, heard about, and been in relationships where one partner smothers the other, leaving the latter feeling as if he or she has no breathing room. Nothing good comes of such circumstances. Unfortunately, I was the clingy one in each of my ill-fated relationships, none of which lasted very long. I was much younger at the time. I lacked self-esteem and loathed being single, especially when so many of my friends were hooking up. I thought I could compensate for my low self-esteem by being overly romantic and demanding of my girlfriends' time, attention, and affections. I thought this would ensure that they wouldn't break up with me, and that I wouldn't find myself wrestling feelings of loneliness ever again. Boy, was I misinformed. While the girls acknowledged that my heart was in the right place, it all felt too suffocating for them. Hurt and confused, I naturally questioned their feelings at the time and reasoned that they just couldn't appreciate a guy wh...

If you found yourself chasing after friends or love interests last year who didn't put as much time and effort into your relationship as you, don't let this habit carry over into the new year. End it now! There's no reason why you should pine for someone's attention or company when your own should be sufficient. Sure, we all like to be in a relationship and have at least a couple of friends we can call and meet up when we're bored or lonely. But here's a key piece of information I'd like you to embed firmly in your mind: Friends and partners enhance our lives, not complete them.  You should never feel that your life is incomplete without friends, a partner, children, and so on. After all, we came into this world alone, and will be leaving it in similar fashion. Studies find that the more people enjoy their own company, the happier they are with their lives and the higher their self-esteem and self-worth. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn...

We've talked at length about things that women might find attractive in men and vice-versa, from intelligence and self-confidence to a great sense of humor. A new study, though, finds that 1/3 of women registered on Match.com consider a man who owns a dog to be attractive. It also reveals that 1/4 of men find women who appear with a dog in their profile picture to be more attractive. This study has significant implications for men and women trying to dream up ways to meet someone. If you have a dog, you could try taking it for a walk at the park. You're bound to bump into someone who loves dogs and/or owns one at some point. And if the conversation goes smoothly, perhaps a future dinner date is in the cards. I realize, however, that the research is of little value to many people. Not everyone owns a dog, whether because they're allergic, don't want the responsibility, or don't like animals of any kind. It's these individuals who try to find other things ...

I can't help but notice how some women seem intent on upstaging each other on Facebook. What was once a platform for merely catching up with buddies has become an outlet for posting more selfies, pictures of children, or photos of vacations than one's friends -- and getting as many "likes" for them as possible. You might be wondering why the title mentions only women. It's because, from what I've observed, men seem a little more Facebook shy. I hardly see my male friends post anything other than humorous pictures ("memes") and videos. If I do happen to see them in pictures or videos, it's usually their wives or girlfriends doing the posting. In other words, it appears that women generally make the Facebook experience much more personal than men, as if they desire more attention and validation from others. They seem to be far more showy, with posts showcasing new dresses, jewelry, or their kids' diplomas. I'm not saying that all wome...

Gradually, I've become only more convinced that gaffes made by politicians and celebrities -- from Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande to Donald Trump -- are planned for one sole purpose: to garner as much publicity as they can possibly get. The conventional wisdom in Hollywood and the political arena seems to be that any attention is better than no attention. We are assailed by so much information on a daily basis -- advertisements, videos, social media content -- that these people figure the only way to grab our attention is to stir up a little drama and controversy. It's well-documented that the stories that garner the highest ratings are those that tend toward the negative. There's something about murders, sex scandals, and celebrities throwing shade at each other that keeps many people coming back for more. Thus, it comes as no surprise that Donald Trump's surging in the polls following controversial remarks he made about Mexicans, or that the doughnut shop where...