In the past few years, how many times would you say you've been hurt by someone you care deeply about? Too many to count, right? Maybe you were cheated on, lied to, or ignored outright. Perhaps the incident came about at work, school, or home.  As unsettling as the pain can be, you must remind yourself that such feelings won't linger forever. However, you have to do your part to get the wheels rolling.  What I've observed that holds so many people back from conquering the hurt is that they fail to acknowledge it in the first place.  And men are especially prone to this form of denial. Indeed, it's tempting for us to sweep the feelings under the rug as if nothing happened, or to carry on believing they'll fade away on their own. On the contrary, this wrong-headed approach causes those feelings to fester. Denial provides the very fuel for intensification, like warm water powering a hurricane ever more. This, in turn, produces doubt and blame, which can snowball into a...

Experiencing something -- the savory taste of a pepperoni pizza, the sound of gentle waves lapping sugary white sand -- can be an utter delight to the senses.  But according to studies, the experience actually pales in comparison to the anticipation of that experience.  Here are just a few examples: 1. Planning and looking forward to a vacation vs. actually being there. 2. Planning to buy clothes, a car, or other items compared to consuming them.  3. Picturing yourself eating a hearty meal (especially on an empty stomach and/or while watching a restaurant ad) vs actually eating it.  Dopamine, commonly considered the happiness or "feel good" chemical, is more involved in the anticipation of an event or feeling than in the actual feeling of happiness. Often, the experience falls short of what we imagined, whether because it rains on the trip, the food leaves us with gas, or we get buyers' remorse for something we later discover we could have bought elsewhere for much c...

Ever heard the saying "It's not about the journey, but the destination"? If don't allow ourselves the freedom to enjoy the ride -- even if we don't reach said destination when we want (if ever), happiness will always lie out of reach.  That being said, we should never attach our happiness to outcomes.  In other words, don't set your expectations sky high so as to set yourself up for disappointment in the event things don't work out as planned.  We all want to have lifelong relationships, to have a lot of money, to have the perfect job. While some people may be lucky enough to have one or more of the above, chances are you may hit snags along the way that prompt several detours. Our lives will never be perfect. What we imagine in our minds doesn't always materialize, and that's okay.  Though miserable at first, we may realize later that where we ended up was the vastly superior path.  For example, your 15-year relationship may end abruptly. After pr...

Have you ever been turned down by someone you really, really dig? It can be a real bummer when a person you fancy is unable to reciprocate the feelings you have for them. But you mustn't let such an outcome get you down. Everyone experiences rejection at some point or another. It's not a reflection of your physical appearance or character necessarily. It is simply indicative of the fact that different people have different taste. Maybe you fall a little short (no pun intended) when it comes to their preferred height, or they're seeking someone who's more on the adventurous side. Or, perhaps they realize the two of you have chemistry, but they're already in a relationship. Or it may very well be that they just got out of a rocky marriage and wish to remain single for now. In other words, you may not meet that specific person's criteria, but it certainly doesn't mean that'll be the case with every man or woman you pursue. You will eventua...

Never depend on anyone or anything to feel fulfilled in life. That includes: Your partner Your kids Your friends Your job/employer Your hobbies The operative word here is "depend." We depend on food, water, and oxygen for survival.  When it comes the examples listed above, they can certainly enhance our lives, but life satisfaction shouldn't depend on any one of them.  As we all know, things and people can change at the drop of a hat: Your partner could cheat on or fall out of love with you Your kids may distance themselves from you (or even grow to dislike you) as they get older Shifting priorities may water down your relationships You can be laid off at any given moment, or you may come to hate your job over time You can throw your back, rendering you unable to play football or other games you may enjoy  The car, watch, or mug you love so much could break unexpectedly I'm not saying these things will most definitely happen, but t...

People who try to bring you down may not realize it, but they're already below you . A good person doesn't hold grudges, seek retribution, or try to make others' lives miserable. They try to talk things through. They strive to clear the air and reach a consensus, effectively getting rid of any bad blood between both parties.  If you've made an attempt to mend fences but the other person refuses, not only are they sabotaging the relationship, but themselves. Holding on to bitter resentment will only trap him or her in a vicious cycle of negativity that will be very difficult to break free of.  And when people harbor negative feelings toward others, it is often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Whether they're upset that they didn't get the promotion at work or despondent over their relationship woes, they project onto others the disappointment they feel with themselves for falling short of their goals.  Never let the way others trea...

As ironic as it may sound, sometimes the surest way to feeling lonely is by being around others. The late and great Robin Williams once said: "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."  Indeed, while all of us have friends and family members who can certainly help cure our loneliness, there are other people we come across who only serve to exacerbate the problem. That could be a neighbor who always cracks jokes at your expense, siblings who talk to each other at family events but always seem to leave you out in the cold, acquaintances who seem to click with everyone in the room but you, and so forth. The chief problem is that we shouldn't depend on others to help us overcome our loneliness in the first place. That's setting yourself up for disappointment, as there will always be times where people will not be able to come to your aid. While ther...