There are varied and various ways that toxic individuals may try their best to mentally and emotionally overpower you.  This doesn't mean they all employ every single one of these techniques. But it's important to know what kinds of tools these deceitful folks keep in their arsenal so that you're ready to fight back.   1. They try turning you into them.  Misery loves company, and because toxic folks aren't happy with their own lives, they want that misery to rub off on others. And there's no greater satisfaction for them than to hold a firm grip over your emotions. If they know they've gotten the best of you and ruined your day, they know their ploy worked. 2. They use the carrot-and-stick approach . Toxic people love to combine a promised reward with a threat to take something away from you. For example, your boss tells you that a raise hinges on your working Saturdays and Sundays, and that should you opt not to come in on those days, you'll lose your job. ...

If someone in your life has a tendency to push you around, it's time to stand firm. It doesn't matter whether it's your partner, friend, sibling, or co-worker. No one deserves to be treated that way. The sad truth is that bullying isn't limited to adolescents who make fun of other kids' weight or beleaguer them for lunch money. Adults, too, can manipulate and take advantage of people in their orbit. One surefire way for things to reach this point  is by allowing people to perceive you as a pushover. Once they see you as someone they can run roughshod over, they'll carry on until you put a stop to such distasteful behavior. So, you're likely asking how you can tackle the problem. I always advise people to try to have an honest conversation in private first. You never know if the person harbors ill will toward you because of a misunderstanding, a false rumor, or a mistaken first impression. In that conversation, it's important to driv...

Have you ever wondered how narcissists manage to make good first impressions on us? Indeed, when we first meet people who later turn out to be narcissistic, they strike us as elegant, charming, and fun to be around. But over time, such positive impressions turn sour when we realize that these individuals are majorly self-absorbed and insensitive. Just how do narcissists manage to deceive us in this way? According to research, they're well-regarded at first because we mistake their arrogance for high self-esteem. As I've noted in earlier posts, there's a fine line between these characteristics. And when we're first getting to know someone, we want to give them the benefit of the doubt, so we perceive them as confident and high in self-worth. When sifting through photos of college students who'd completed narcissism and self-esteem scales, participants in four experiments rated those who scored highest on narcissism most likeable and highest in self-este...

Don't let people bog you down with their drama and negativity. See, that's precisely what they crave: For them to be the ones responsible for turning your good mood into a sour one. It empowers them to continue trying to push our buttons until we become disappointed, effectively ruining our day (or so they hope). And toxic people aren't always overtly toxic from the get-go. They may endear themselves to us in the beginning, forming the impression that they're one of the nicest people we have ever met. But once the opportunity strikes, they flip a switch and allow their true, manipulative colors to come out. As I've noted in prior posts, when people are unhappy with their lives, they attempt to make themselves feel better by trying to make miserable the lives of ostensibly happy individuals. Whether they're in the process of getting divorced, having problems with their boss, or in serious financial straits, they take everything out on the people a...

Nothing gives anyone -- not boyfriend, old buddy, neighbor, your sister -- the right to exploit you for personal gain. If you detect that someone is deliberately attempting to take advantage of you, do not remain tight-lipped -- stand up for yourself! Approach the individual in a tactful manner and ask when he or she would be available to have a conversation in private. Hopefully, doing so will defuse the situation. If you find that the relationship is beyond repair, make it clear that you won't allow him or her to disrespect you. A good person doesn't try step over his or her loved ones just to get ahead. That bespeaks utter selfishness and a lack of a moral compass. Anyone who does this deserves no place in your life unless they can offer a convincing apology, vowing to never betray you again. After all, it's hard to restore trust after one feels they've been stabbed in the back. Again, if you sense that someone might be trying to take advantage of you, ...

If there's one trait that blemishes a person's character like no other, it would arguably be selfishness . I come across people every day -- at work, in the gym, at the grocery store -- who exude a palpable air of selfishness. You can just tell they put themselves before everyone else; they're constantly looking out for their best interest, even if they have to step on others' toes or rip them apart in the process. I'm sure you've met many a person who falls under this category. Here are a few words that typically describe selfish people: Manipulative Scheming Opportunistic Calculating Insensitive Self-centered Self-absorbed Greedy Contemptuous  Difficult Egotistical Stubborn  Dishonest Selfish people can be quite unpleasant to be around, especially when they can't manipulate you to get their way. They also tend to be quite unreliable, expecting you to be at their beck and call but refusing to be there for you when you need them. ...

It's in some people's nature to try to manipulate others at every turn. These opportunists care little about the consequences of their actions. They're conniving and deceitful, carrying out their schemes so stealthily as to never attract attention. In fact, on the surface, they can seem like some of the nicest individuals you'll ever meet, the last people you'd suspect of any wrongdoing. These people are masters at exploiting others' good nature. Their easiest and favorite targets are those who are perpetually nice and accommodating. They figure that people who lack a backbone are more likely to let themselves be taken advantage of. Once they see they can get a favor or two from them with very little effort, they press on with full force and never look back. The most common form of manipulation often involves what many deem the "root of all evil": money. We've all heard stories of women who use their feminine wiles to bilk wealthy men -- espe...

There's a girl I work with (let's call her Ana) who loves chatting up Cindy, my cubicle neighbor. Though Cindy is about 15 years Ana's senior, you'd think the two are best friends upon hearing them converse. They can blather on for hours about everything from food and children to the usual workplace gossip. Today, my department had a holiday lunch at a nearby restaurant. Ana, a male coworker named Andy, and I carpooled to the restaurant. On the way there, Ana began dishing about Cindy and some of the other women in the department. She commented on everything from their dressing habits to their rather "old school" perspectives, as she put them, on life. (Mind you, these women are in their 50s and 60s.) You might be thinking, "Poor Cindy. She probably doesn't deserve that." But Cindy herself has been known to talk behind others' backs, so, as I see it, she's getting a taste of her own medicine. This goes to show you that backstabbers ...